To be furious at the comments of 'friend'

[Islandlady]

I had a call from an old school friend that I hadnt seen for 5 years, she has found out that I live on IOW was angling for a free holiday ( which I was quite prepared to accommodate BTW)

Any way she started talking about her DS who is 24 the same age as mine, she was always so superior that her DS went to uni whilst mine ( bless him) couldnt be arsed with all that malarky and joined a local plumbing and buiklding firm as an apprentice

Talk got on to how difficult it is for the young, how her DS cant get a decent job, has to pay back his student loan and how he will never be able to get on the housing ladder I was sympathetic as I know how difficult is is .

But then she said 'I dont suppose you understand seeing as how your DS is only a manual worker and wont have the same expectations of life as my DS

No I said he doesnt have to worry about low wages and paying back loans as he now has his own business emplying two people and earns enough to pay the higher rate of tax.

And no he doesnt have to worry about a mortgage as he has just bought a house with CASH which he with the help of his manual worker mates have gutted and are doing up.

Somehow I dont think that she will be staying at mine in the near future

I am a nasty person for having a bit of a gloat

I think you did the right thing

she started it

She was very rude indeed

Nah - stupid cow deserved all she got and more. I am soooo glad you didn't just agree quietly with her and fume inside

By the way - a HUGE well done to your son, he's doing brilliantly, esp as he's only 24!!

Someone must have 'dragged him up' properly

Now, I happen to have a free weekend coming up, what's your address again?

Good on you, YANBU at all

YANBU!

well done

Never mind the free holiday, I could do with a good plumber - is he prepared to travel?

YANBU - she was very rude

And well done your DS!

No you aren't. Nasty or unreasonable. Well done your DS.

Ha ha well done, dontcha wish you could of seen her face when you said it??

Can I have your DS's phone number? Not for me y'understand but I have several single friends and he sounds like a fab prospect....

Your 'friend' is a twat. My parents were always v ambitious for us to go to university. I did, now have £££££££ of debt, no chance of buying my own house, work in local authority so low wages for skills. Younger brothers all went into work - one is on management track in BUPA, one is waiter (earning same as me when you include tips) and one is training to be a baker. They all have £££££££ in the bank and lovely lives I would encourage my DCs to do as yours did and forget about university unless they had ambition to be doctor or lawyer or something, combined with v strong work ethic (not like me then )

Your not being nasty at all, gloat away! she's the nasty bitch.

I can't help but wonder if maybe she said what she said more in a vein of "Your DS wouldn't have the same expectations because he didn't invest all that time and money in a University degree that was supposed to make him employable and then didn't..." but if it really was phrased as OP says, then I can't blame OP for the sniffy response.

Wouldn't bother feeling furious with her, though, doesn't sound like she is worth the energy. Every right to feel quietly smug, instead. :)

What a snooty, misguided old moo (your friend, not you!). Well said.

YANBU and what an awesome achievement for your son. You must be really proud of him.

Congratulations! YANBU!

I also agree uni isn't for everyone. I put off going so I could pay off a few debts from travelling, and worked in hospitality. I really enjoyed it and worked my way up to be a senior restaurant manager and earn a very decent wage with a great bonus scheme and training course abroad. Much more than any of my friends who went to uni and I don't have their debts.

With all this talk of extra graduate taxes, I think you should only go to uni if you have a definite career path that needs a specific degree. There are too many useless courses, that don't set you up with good prospects.

Ha ha ha!!!!! Good for you! How could she think it was ok to say those things to you? Gawd some people are so awful.

Well done

This is a personal soapbox of mine.

We REALLY< REALLY need to teach kids to value these occupations (plumbers / gas fitters / elevctricians etc etc) the skills are LIFESAVING, the work is out there, the prospects can be amazing. And yet we see it as some how "less". It's ridiculous imo.

My degree has not equipt me for anything much (excpet spotting that my ds has very idiosyncratic speech patterns) I have debt, and I don't have fabulous job prospects (I am going back to college in september to get professional training and accreditation, which should help on that front)

She was a nasty snob, and YANBU!

YANBU, what a very stupid comment for your aquaintance to make!

3Trees- completely agree. We are being hampered I think by old definitions of class whereby "working class" implied manual job and "middle class" implied non-manual job so therefore non-manual job = better.

Unless you are obviously academic, I think many people would be better served by looking at opportunities in skilled trades, not least because I am sure they are more interesting/ challenging a lot of the time.

3Trees - it's becoming a personal soapbox for me. Not because I don't have a good job and blah blah blah, but because I think university tends to lead to "9 - 5" office type work that not all of us are actually cut out for and that really, looking more sensibly at what you can do and enjoy doing would be better.

There is no doubt in my mind that while I love my job in many ways, I'd be much happier working on projects. Perhaps if I'd become a landscape gardener, or a plumber or whatever I could do that. It's not so easy when you work in finance!

I know some very well-off plumbers..and my BIL started in a manual job and now has a very good career indeed...YANBU

LOL!!! That is so satisfyingly funny isn't it when you can stick a metaphorical two fingers up at a sponging snob? Is your 'friend' Hyacinth Bucket by any chance? Asking for a free holiday and then insulting your son... wow.

What a snob! I'd rather be like your son than hers! I don't understand the appeal of uni straight out of school, all those loans and rubbish like that. I'd rather start low and work my way up. Most people can get to that middle-level job without a degree in the same time as somebody takes to go through uni anyway!

I'm 21 now and am starting an OU degree (tried actual uni and dropped out after three months) which I'm paying for myself rather than getting loans. I'd rather have money and a degree than be screwed over with no money but a degree which won't get me a job. Not only that, but I'll have money to go travelling and don't have this mentality that I'm too good to do whatever job is available unlike many of my peers who've just left uni and now cannot find work but won't go for what's available!

Your son sounds quite smart IMO, if he's managed to get his own buisiness by 24!

Thank you I am really proud of him but he works very very hard no time for the ladies yet but then he is an ugly so and so ( takes after his dad) (grin)