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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Taking DS on holiday the first week back?

31 replies

wubblybubbly · 10/08/2010 15:48

Okay, we've got a chance to get away for a week at the beginning of September, but it means that DS (nearly 4) will miss the first week of his first full nursery term.

He started last January but it's been a pretty tough year and we've not been abe to get away because my health. I've actually got a short gap in my medical treatment, which means we can fit in a week away, nothing flash, just a caravan a few hours away, but it's a break IYSWIM.

AIBU to think that it won't matter too much if he misses the first week back just this once? Will the school be cheesed off?

OP posts:
Chil1234 · 10/08/2010 15:50

Guarantee your school will be cheesed off and will only grudgingly grant permission. Not that it's unreasonable to take a break after an illness but on the basis that 'if they let one family do it, they'll all be doing it'.

diddl · 10/08/2010 15:51

I´d be more concerned if it would affect your son tbh.

You are only talking about nursery here-not school?

gingernutlover · 10/08/2010 15:52

in those circumstances YANBU

and anyway, as I'm sure lots of others will point out, he's not at statutory school age yet. Just explain to the nursery that he wont be there that week, apologise for the fact it is in term time but explain the reasonf or the timing.

You say the school? Is it a nursery class attached to a school? Or do you mean reception year? (in that case it might be a bit of a problem in terms of your son making friends)

AgentZigzag · 10/08/2010 15:52

Awww he's only 4, it's hardly going to affect his university results is it? Grin

If they don't like it...tough, there's more to life than school.

LIZS · 10/08/2010 15:53

As he's not yet school age I don't think there would be an issue esepcially given the circumstances. Just make sure they know or they may assume he is a no show and reoffer his place.

usualsuspect · 10/08/2010 15:53

They can't refuse if its only nursery ..hes not compulsory school age until hes 5

MumInBeds · 10/08/2010 15:54

Normally I'd be one of the first to say not to take a termtime holiday but I think regrouping after/during a serious illness is reason very valid change from that.

ConnorTraceptive · 10/08/2010 16:00

If it's pre school then I wouldn't worry too much if it's reception then I definately would NOT do it. Not fair to school or your son to miss the first week of a new term.

Generally I have no objection to holidays in term time that are towards the end of a term or school year

Original poster
wubblybubbly · 10/08/2010 16:01

It is just a nursery place, he's not due to go into reception until 2011. I love the school though and would hate to think I'd jeopardised a potential place later on. Probably overthinking it!

I think we really need the break though, he's had a tough time dealing with me being ill and missed out on a load of things, so I just really want us to have some nice family time together.

Do you think it would be okay just to give them a ring on the first day back and explain? They know about my illness and have been great, keeping an eye on him and such, so I'm hoping they'll not give me a hard time - still feeling really scared about asking though Grin

OP posts:
compo · 10/08/2010 16:02

Fine to take preschool kids out , they are only playing anyway!

Onetoomanycornettos · 10/08/2010 16:15

Oh my goodness, you must go and have a break together as a family. That's a hundred times more important than him playing with the children he's going to see for the rest of the year. You have a window, there's no other time, you need a break, go and enjoy it. Don't worry about asking, they are used to it and will probably be very supportive given your circumstances.

Vallhala · 10/08/2010 16:25

A child is only legally obligated to receive a f/t education from the start of the school term after their 5th birthday.

As a result, what you do until then, how much time he spends at nursery, if at all, is entirely your choice and there is no legal comeback.

If the nursery objects, sadly it would not be the first time this has happened, but they would be taking the mick regardless.

Vallhala · 10/08/2010 16:29

You CANNOT jeopardise a reception place by using/not using/occasionally using a particular nursery. It just doesn't work that way in Law.

Places in reception are offered on many grounds - proximity to the child's home, whether there are siblings already in attendance, religious observation and soforth - but NOT on whether the child goes to an attached nursery or on the amount of time he has attended an attached nursery/amount of holiday taken away from it etc.

HTH

ChasingSquirrels · 10/08/2010 16:31

it's nursery, go.

Original poster
wubblybubbly · 10/08/2010 16:47

Aww thanks everyone, my first ever AIBU and I've avoided a mauling Smile I have to admit I was a bit scared to check back.

It does feel like the right thing to do, so taking all your advice on board, we'll go for it and enjoy ourselves, regardless of the weather.

DS has already made lots of friends and most of them will be there again this year, although there'll be some new starters too. I'm sure he won't even realise he's missed a week Grin

OP posts:
LittleMissHissyFit · 10/08/2010 18:09

It's the last time you'll be able to do that, so go, go go!!!

Do it, seriously! Have a brilliant time!!!!

MumNWLondon · 10/08/2010 19:23

He is 3!!!! Its fine.

LastOrdersAgain · 10/08/2010 19:33

DS will be going into year2 when they go back in september, and I'm taking him out a week after they go back, with permission from the school.

I'm a single parent, starting uni at the end of sept, and don't have 2 pennies to rub together. My lovely mum paid for the holiday, we are desperat to get away, but can no way before holiday peak prices.

I know I'm being unreasonable before you all flame me...

BollockBrain · 10/08/2010 19:35

Cannot believe the earlier posters who said YABU - honestly he is 3 aolmost 4, this is nursery, education (not necessarily at school either) does not have to begin until first term after 5th birthday which is ages away.

Go and enjoy Smile

belledechocolatefluffybunny · 10/08/2010 19:36

I'm thinking about doing this. Poor ds has had a lousy summer as I'm very ill. I'll have to think about it though, he gets 2 weeks for half term.

BollockBrain · 10/08/2010 19:37

do it belle.

belledechocolatefluffybunny · 10/08/2010 19:43

I'll think about it. He had a naff summer last year aswell as I was having loads of tests. We won eurostar tickets in a eurostar promotion but they didn't turn up Sad I don't think I'll have any money left by the time he starts secondary school, I can't cook because I can't see well at the moment, I'm tired all the time and my eyes look stupid, poor lad's stuck in the house. I tried taking him out today and we had to come home, it's hard to see where I am going and I got so tired.

BollockBrain · 10/08/2010 19:50

oh Sad Is he your carer? You sound like you could both do with a lively little break, even if it was just a few days.

Hope you can get one sorted.

belledechocolatefluffybunny · 10/08/2010 19:53

No, I have relapsing/remissive MS, it comes and goes. He's 11 and not quite independant. He's helpful at the moment as I'll end up walking in dog shit. It'll get better, one crap holiday for him though.

ChippingIn · 10/08/2010 19:55

Wubbly - take him on holiday, the memories of that are worth 1000 weeks at school, especially at his age.

As you are so unwell and life is a bit rubbish right now, I'd take him no matter what age he was - but at 4 it's a complete no brainer.

I hope you have a really, really lovely time.