to feel judged by this play leader today?

[OnEdge]

Took DD 3 and DS 1 to a music tots thing at the local children's centre today. One of the play leaders sat next to me and we started chatting. I said that it was really good to go there because I could just sit and relax and let the children play ( I am 35 weeks pregnant )

She then looked at me funny, and said "But do you play with them at home? " I said that I thought that I did. And she went on about some mums do not interact with their children at home either and do not build up a bond.

Then I was saying how lovely and relaxing the sensory play room was, and that I had had a lovely 20 minutes in there the day before lying down and chilling with my son. She looked all releived and said " Oh so you were in there with your son, thats OK then"

Whenever I go to these soft play type things, i always sit down and let the children run off and play, I don't go round with them. I do watch them at all times, and intervene if necesary, then I sit back down with my tea.

Am I being crap? Thought self absorbed play was a good thing.

Just to add, the same play leader had just complmented me on my DD's behavoir during the singing, how she had gone and sat at the front with her and joined in etc.

Mum told me to shut up and take no notice but I feel like she was questioning my parenting. Could be hormones I spose.

I would think she is definitely like that with everyone, its the typical kind of thing they say but if you went there loads and they knew you she wouldn't? I don't think you need to take offense they mean well

I'm only going there because it is the summer holidays and I like to find activities for my children. I don't go there for help, that is what the HV clinic is for. My DD is usually at pre school and there is hardly any intervention there because there are 3 staff.

It would be a lot easier to stay at home and let them watch the tv all day, but I thought I was doing the right thing finding them structured activities, to give our day a purpose and stimulate them. I did not realise a Children's Centre was for families who had problems.

I've never heard of Sure Start, sounds like a package you get from the AA or the RAC

Forgive me for the total thread shift, but OnEdge, it looks like you have the most beautiful garden in the world :)

Looks lovely!

Well, carry on...

Noooo! OnEdge, please don't be put off! Children's centres aren't for families with problems anymore. They used to be and there used to be a stigma attached to them. Now they are for everybody!

Ballstoit is correct in what she's saying about Ofsted and the activities making parents interact with their children. In fact at my local Children's centre we have a music activity, the leader there (who is brilliant) if parents start chatting will say, "children, if your grown up is talking turn around and tell them shh!" or she says, "right, the next grown up who talks will have to do a solo!" She is saying it jokingly but the reason that she says it is because it is important that the children can listen to the songs.

Keep on going, but bear in mind that their aim in life is to make sure that parents who don't care for their children properly get the help they need.

We used to run a toddler group in a CC room, and the playworkers were desperate to get lots of messy things out for us. Once I said 'no thank you' kindly to the playdough, saying that it's so hard to keep it all on the table and ends up going everywhere. She said 'oh, what a shame for the children' and I said 'it's not like they don't get plenty of opportunity to play with it at home' knowing that all the parents who attended the group did do lots with their children at home.

It occurred to me that she's more used to parents who bring their chidlren to the centre to do their playing and do jack shit with their children at home.

The whole point of those indoor play places, I thought, was that you pay your fiver to leave child whizzing about on slides with other children etc., while you read the paper or catch up on the goss... To be honest, I'm more worried about the grown-ups that end up inside the cargo net/ball-pit micro-managing their children. They're just weird.

What an utter tit she sounds! They are trained to suggest how parents can interact with their children, fine. But you are pregnant! and I assume knackered! That

I used to leave my lttle girl to get on with playing. kept an eye on her and occasionally played with her and asked her what she was doing etc, but really you do what you can.

It's not her job to make you feel bad. How is making you feel bad going to benifit your child???