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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Grr pregnancy belly touching has started already and I'm only 13 weeks.

49 replies

DetectivePotato · 09/08/2010 19:15

I'm not a big fan of people 'in my personal space' at the best of times. When I'm pregnant, it seems to be worse. It is my belly!

MIL kept doing it last pregnancy. Every time she saw me she would rush over and say "oh is it kicking" and start rubbing my belly. I hated this and would try and put her off by saying "oh no baby isn't kicking now" (which it wasn't, I wasn't lying). I also have a weird 'thing' with my belly button. I am very very squemish about it and I am cringing right now. I hate hate hate anyone going remotely near it. Euughhhhhh. When people touch your stomach, its always in the middle and its horrible.

Anyway, I saw MIL yesterday and the first thing she did was to rub my 13 week belly (which is pretty small). Grrrrrr. I know I am being oversensitive but it grates. I don't know anyone else who does it. No one in my family do and I have been lucky enough to not have strangers doing it as my friends have. SIL also started last time too then was inviting her DH too feel my belly too whilst I sat there wondering if it was actually a part of my body.

Probably being hormonal but does this bother other people too?

OP posts:

Again · 10/08/2010 12:18

I had a male client ask for my mobile number and I said I couldn't give it out. He rubbed my bump and said 'Someone got it'. I said 'Yes my husband'. I felt physically sick.

mendipgirl · 10/08/2010 12:29

YANBU, this is horrid. My MIL did it with my first pregnancy really early on as well and I was thinking "you can't even feel the baby it's only 2 inches long that's just my fat belly you are rubbing, get off!!" Obvisouly didn't say that but really really don't like it. In my opinion only DH and DD can do this now I am pregnant with DC2, but not sure how to stop people. They just feel like your belly is public property. Haven't had it yet with this one, but it's early days. Will watch and see for more useful tips on how to stop it!

Again that is awful!

D0G · 10/08/2010 12:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Feelingsensitive · 10/08/2010 12:48

I think you have to just say "please don't do that I don't like it". Most people are doing ti with the best of intentions but I agree its annoying.

MsVelvet · 10/08/2010 15:34

i have the weird belly button thing too, everyone thinks im a weirdo too, when i was pregnant i had to tell the midwives each time not to touch me near it as it made me feel physically sick even the thought of it...i cant even touch it myself eeeewwww shudders

mellymooks · 10/08/2010 16:07

OP
I know exactly what you mean, about the bump and the belly button thing, I am squeamish about mine too and hate it being touched even when not pregnant, my biggest phobia about getting preggers was that my belly button would pop out which I think would totally freak me out, I don't know why it just would, but thankfully so far it's just kind of flattened, it didn't pop out with my 1st pregnancy so am hoping it will be the same this time!!

Totally understand it is an invasion of your space, thankfully most people I know have asked first if they are desperate to touch my bump and once they've asked it somehow feels more comfortable to let them.

EmmaRoyd · 10/08/2010 16:15

For me it depends when in the pregnancy it is. At 13 weeks I hated it if anyone touched my belly because all they would be feeling is my squashy slightly fat tummy. Now I'm 38 weeks and have a huge bump I love it if someone wants a feel, it makes me feel special. I love it even more when the baby kicks and they get to feel it. I think its nice that people are interested.

EmmaRoyd · 10/08/2010 16:17

Having said that a tramp got up from his park bench to have a feel. That was NOT nice.

booyhoo · 10/08/2010 16:21

Well, i had someone touching my belly on friday night and I'm not even pregnant. and she wasn't even embarrassed when i told her that. an no i don't have a big belly, i was leaning backwards on a chair.

MichaelaS · 10/08/2010 17:24

wow, some horrible stories on here!

I think feeling their tummy right back is the way to go - or knocking their hand away if you manage it in time.

For the obsessive MIL / PIL saying "that's my grandchild in there" you could always just say "no it isn't!" and leave it to their imaginations.

veyron · 10/08/2010 18:22

I hate it too....

My MIL did it when I was trying on a dress and came out to show her, she went straight for my bump (it was really prominent in the dress) and I instinctivly went to move and she ended up touching my foof! (and I wasnt wearing any Knicks)

Tortington · 10/08/2010 18:23

"please don't touch my belly, it maks me shit"

that should do it

PussinJimmyChoos · 10/08/2010 21:23

Bloody hell...miserable sods!

Original poster

DetectivePotato · 10/08/2010 22:20

"please don't touch my belly, it maks me shit"

PMSL!!!

Emmaroyd A tramp. How odd!

OP posts:

LetThereBeRock · 10/08/2010 22:21

YANBU.It's rude.

Kittykatzen · 11/08/2010 17:06

Think I am going to have to grit my teeth and put up with tummy touching. Am 24 weeks and was at a family do last week with lots of my husband's relatives that I barely know. ALL of them had a good old feel of my bump and two of the men even put their faces on it to talk to the baby. Can imagine it will only get worse...

Ronaldinhio · 11/08/2010 17:08

if you shout
"ow,ow, ow... ffs" really loudly
you will prevent repeat touching incidents and make the world safer for us all tbh

Diamondback · 11/08/2010 20:10

Ulysses I have to disagree - it is "fucking rude"! If you wouldn't put your hands on someone usually, why is it okay when they're pregnant? It's invasive and inconsiderate.

I can almost get parents and in-laws and I didn't really mind yesterday when a male friend I've known for years rubbed my tummy, but work colleagues? Strangers in the street? Gah!

These people are already, even if they don't realise, being rude, so don't feel bad about firmly stating, "I'd rather you didn't do that; it makes me uncomfortable." Or, if you want to make it jokey, "Oh, I didn't realise we knew eachother that well."

Failing all else, how about "that really makes me need to pee..."

soozlewoozle · 11/08/2010 20:17

After going to a family get together and being groped by pretty much all my aunts and other female relatives I have taken to groping their stomachs back. It's amazing how offended they got!

Porcelain · 11/08/2010 20:44

I hate it.

My belly is enormous at the moment, so I would imagine it is very tempting, but it is also really sore from on/off contractions and baby kicking, so here's to hiding at home where no one can be tempted.

Incidentally, flinching back as if they hurt you might help...

SpanishHarlot · 11/08/2010 20:55

make a t-shirt for yourself on Vistaprint with Hands Off the Bump!!! that's how I got this way in the first place!!

Agree, it's very invasive after all no-one goes and grabs the bloke's todger which caused the problem anyway do they??????

Original poster

DetectivePotato · 11/08/2010 20:55

Did they really get that offended when you rubbed their stomachs back?

OP posts:

soozlewoozle · 12/08/2010 08:51

I think more shocked than anything else :) The most common reaction was a big flinch and "What are you doing???" or "That's nasty, stop!"

I haven't had many repeat offenders :o

Original poster

DetectivePotato · 12/08/2010 09:48

Ha ha, at least it achieved a positve outcome!

OP posts:

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