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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

in not wanting to take dts (23mo) to family do?

9 replies

twinsufficient · 09/08/2010 17:40

Have been invited to my great auntie's 90th bday party in late November. It is at a posh hotel, sit-down meal, etc, etc and I really do not want to take my dts who will be just a month shy of 2yo then. They are a nightmare even when we've taken them to the local softplay centre they've screamed (hysterically) all through the meal there and hate being confined to a small space so we will be constantly running after them. Also, my mother who is organising the celebration loves comparing my 'badly behaved' children with my brother's 'easy children'. I have said that I will go but only take my dd1 (6yo) but this was not looked on favourably by my mother who told me I shouldn't 'imprision' the dts. She has no idea how bloody difficult the dts are and how stressed out I am with them on a daily basis. I understand that the family doesn't get together that often and of course they all want to see how the dts have grown, etc, but should I put myself through it?

OP posts:
sanielle · 09/08/2010 17:43

Will there be any celebration after the sit down meal? at someone's house or something?

twinsufficient · 09/08/2010 17:45

No, just the meal and then standing around after talking to relatives who I barely know.

OP posts:
CrapSuzette · 09/08/2010 17:47

I'm with you: my DTs are 3.5 and getting much easier to deal with, but there is no way I could have considered doing this with them at 2yrs old. I think your mother is being really unfair, actually. And of course your brother's children are 'easy' in comparison - I'm assuming he had them one at a time!
I would (only just) consider taking my DTs to that sort of party now. Tell your mother - politely - that you are not imprisoning your DTs; that putting them (and you, and her, and your great auntie through all that) would be very unfair on EVERYONE. And that, for most two year olds, being forced to sit at a table and 'behave' appropriately at a posh hotel IS imprisonment for them, and hell on earth for you.
Good luck. I feel your pain. Can't think of anything more stressful...

lilyliz · 09/08/2010 17:49

call her bluff,say you will take them but she will be responsible for them as you want to enjoy the do and don't get out often as busy with kids.

twinsufficient · 09/08/2010 17:49

Oh thank you CrapSuzette - I thought I was being unreasonable as that's what my mother makes me feel like. Yes, my brother did have his one at a time (although only a year between the youngest) and no-one seems to understand how difficult it really is.

OP posts:
JaynieB · 09/08/2010 17:59

They might enjoy seeing them, but it will be you running around after them, not able to relax and enjoy the meal...
Why not get a babysitter in? I don't think you're being unreasonable.

HoorahHilda · 09/08/2010 18:00

Oh my goodness do not think about it for another second !

I have 3 year old twin boys and no way would I have considered taking them to a do like this . Even now . I have a 6 year old dd also band wherever possible would leave the twins out of the equation . Calm all round . People should understand . Life is tricky enough as it is with twins . Go if you can and have them cared for at home somehow ? , normal bed routine etc. Put your foot down !!

maryz · 09/08/2010 18:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Gay40 · 09/08/2010 18:08

You are absolutely in the right. It wouldn't be fair on you, them or the other guests.

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