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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

re: health visitors comment

31 replies

mookle · 09/08/2010 15:40

I dont think I am but help me get some perspective...(NB this is not about bottle vs formula) I have a 5 week old DD and previously suffered from PND (after my DS 9 yrs ago) so my HV came to see me today to administer the PN depression checklist thingy. I completed said checklist and she asked how I was... I said I was generally doing ok and that we had now brought in a couple of FF bottles per day (at her reccomendation)and that DD seemed "happier" taking FF than my breast milk. I am privately a little sad about this but have made my decision regarding FF (lots of reasons and this thread isnt about FF Vs BF so please dont get judgy on me)and feel its the best one for our circumstances...however in reply to my saying "DD seems happier having the bottle than breastfeeding, was very unsettled whilst feeding and I dont know why" HV replied "well she's made her choice, she's made her choice, she prefers bottles - she chooses bottles.

Now am I being slightly daft , but if I were suffering with PND or even just feeling a bit low, that comment would make thing a whole lot worse?? I was a little bit Sad at this spin on things....AIBU?

OP posts:
Follyfoot · 09/08/2010 17:02

When you are tired out and have a tiny baby, its so easy to feel a bit slighted when possibly that wasnt the intention at all. I think she was just trying to make you feel better about the mixed feeding, but it possibly didnt come across as she meant it.

Did mixed feeding with my DD and it worked a treat. Perfect solution for us. Please dont feel guilty will you? You know what they say - placenta out, guilt in.

You take care x

Original poster
mookle · 09/08/2010 17:12

thanks follyfoot, definitely guilt in!

OP posts:
lilyliz · 09/08/2010 19:25

think you are being a wee bit touchy but can't blame you with all you have to cope with,a new baby and an older child.It's each to their own and if bottles suit you and baby better then go for it and don't let anyone make you feel guilty about it,your baby,your choice

MerryMarigold · 09/08/2010 20:17

mookle, hope it all goes really well for you. you sound lovely!

for what it's worth, round here, we get one visit EVER from HV. when mine came, she just filled in some surestart forms. i had PND with ds1, there was no monitoring when i had twins!!! You have to go to clinic and wait AT LEAST one and half hours if you want to see an hv. it's so awful. i think they are really overworked, so am sure your one is too - and must be difficult to fully 'give' when you're under a lot of pressure. i'm sure she didn't mean anything personal though...

congrats on your little dd. i do occasionally get a little bit broody Envy...

SirBoobAlot · 09/08/2010 20:23

I think I would have reacted the same. I would have heard "Well you might as well stop BF then, its obviously not what she likes best", and it would have upset me. So I don't think YABU.

Remember it is a lot easier for them to take from a bottle, so they take more, and so stay fuller. That's why she seems happier. You're doing just fine :)

Original poster
mookle · 09/08/2010 20:26

wow merrymarigold, thats terrible! Yes you are right, probably just overstretched. Sirboobalot (lol at the name Grin )thank you, Im doing my best just wish I could have EBF - never mind though.

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