AIBU to feel fed up with dh, or should I be more sympathetic

[Mowgli1970]

In brief, dh works hard. He's self employed, so he's always chasing after business as there's no guaranteed income. He's under a lot of stress as business is slow at the moment. Our mortgage is huge and he takes full control over the finances (with my agreement!).
He's taken only 4 days off this holiday and has been as miserable as sin. Nothing's good enough, tidy enough, clean enough. We rarely go out or have visitors and when we do see friends and family he's got a face like a smacked bum and then moans at me about them when we're alone.
I could cope with that but he's now sniping at me all the time. Whatever I say he jumps down my throat, rolls his eyes or walks off muttering under his breath. He's off today and is watching tv with a face like thunder feeling very sorry for himself. AIBU to feel like telling him to sod off back to work?

I think sympathy only goes so far and you've probably found the limit. If he's worried about the business he's missing, not enjoying his holiday and he's being nasty into the bargain then send him back to work. No-one wants a misery guts around the place....

He needs to realise that his stress should not be taken out on everyone else and do something about it, rather than allowing it to ride him the way he is.

Could he be depressed?
Maybe tell him he either cheers up or goes to the gp

telling you that you can't havd friends over is very controlling

Sorry, I've misled you - he never tells me I can't have friends over, it's just that we rarely do it because of work commitments.

No, YANBU. But I'd be tempted to suggest to him that there's no point taking holiday if he's so stressed - does he have a hobby or leisure activity outside of the house he enjoys doing (with or without you)?

The problem with people who are self employed and stressed is that it's hard to forget and just relax. So the holiday you're supposed to be having just makes you more stresed, not less. He needs to force himself to do something that will take his mind off things so that his holiday feels like a holiday and not time to brood.

Have a gentle but firm word with him and explain that you understand he's under a lot of pressure, but that he's taking it out on you a lot lately and you're reaching your limit.

It does sound like he might be a bit depressed as a result of stress.