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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have found this a bit odd?

19 replies

larks35 · 08/08/2010 21:58

Was on hols recently and due to wet weather took DS (18mo) to indoor soft play place. My DP is really good with DS in these hell holes places and follows him round and keeps him entertained (not walking yet so needs a constant watch).

I happily read and drank coffee and was warm, but looked over at DP and DS and noticed a little girl 2/3yo who had sat herself on DP's knee and was trying to hug him! He looked at me in a "what should i do?" way and so I thought I'd relieve him.

This little girl was really sweet and was playing at throwing balls up and down the slide etc with me and DS, but when we left that area she followed us and came and got into a chair at our table! I asked her where her mum or dad were and she didn't seem to understand so I looked round and asked a few people if they knew this girl or who she belonged and finally got onto the staff to find her carers. They went round every table and it was getting quite desperate, but finally they found the family - there were 4 adults (2 youngish women and an older couple) and 1 other child. By the time we found them the girl had been with me, DP and DS for nearly an hour! Were none of them worried about her at all in this time?

OP posts:
Topcat11 · 08/08/2010 22:00

Yanbu - very odd!

Sleepingonthebus · 08/08/2010 22:01

YANBU

I always toddle off and find my two if I haven't seen them for at least 5 minutes. What on earth were they thinking?

faeriemoo · 08/08/2010 22:03

My just gone two-year old regularly buggers off on her own at soft play, but I'd be on the hunt if I didn't know where she was for five minutes

teaandcakeplease · 08/08/2010 22:04

Awww bless her. Perhaps if they're usually like that she was craving affection and attention?

1 hour with you? I always follow my 2 DCs around in a soft play, so YANBU, if I did sit down, it wouldn't be long before I was up looking for them, if I couldn't see them.

mumblechum · 08/08/2010 22:05

I see that quite a lot. I take someone else's twins to softplay every week (for Barnardo's) and other kids often come up and chat, draw me pictures etc. I'd be concerned though if there was no sign of the parent - after a while I usually ask "where's your mummy?" and nine times out of ten the mum's sitting having a coffee but keeping an eye on the lo.

QueenSconetta · 08/08/2010 22:05

YANBU - that's a long time for her to not have been with them, I've not had the pleasure of these places yet but I would have thought it was not impossible for someone with terrible intentions to slip in.

Some kids are just very affectionate and friendly but if that is the case I would have thought it was more important to keep an eye on her if she is so happy to go to strangers.

IwishIwasmoreorganised · 08/08/2010 22:05

YANBU - that is a very long time.

Minxie1977 · 08/08/2010 22:07

YANBU. I don't follow around but I always know Smile

Poledra · 08/08/2010 22:08

That's a long time - my 2yo DD3 disappeared for 10 minutes the last time we were at soft play and by that time my friend's DH was off into the equipment looking for her while I and my friend tried to spot her from the outside (my DH wasn't there). She was, of course, perfectly OK, but I was feeling a bit tense for a few minutes.

SloanyPony · 08/08/2010 22:09

An hour is a bit much. With other children to entertain I sometimes lose sight of my 3 year old for up to 15 minutes but I'm still sort of clocking him, in that I know where he's gone and I've not seen him come out, that kind of thing.

An hour is ages.

PinkyMe · 08/08/2010 22:19

Very irresponsible of them. We once had a little girl about 4 follow my OH and dd round in one of these places. It was like she latched on because her own parent/carer were not paying any attention to her. And they didn't intervene when they saw her following OH around.

Original poster
larks35 · 08/08/2010 22:19

She was really affectionate and it freaked my DP out (and DS in jealousy!) when she was trying to hug him, he was expecting her mum to come up and accuse him of all sorts! When I went in to relieve DP she was just as affectionate and I was happy for her to play with me and DS but even then a bit on the look out for her potential parent/carer, but no-one seemed to be keeping an eye on her.

The carers/family once found didn't seem to feel there had been any problem, despite the fact that she had been out of their radar for an hour. She was a beautiful, sweet little girl and so demonstrably affectionate to strangers that I would worry for her more if I were her mummy.

I think a part of me also wonders why she seeks physical affection from strangers Sad

OP posts:
LucyLouLou · 08/08/2010 22:21

YADNBU. Thank God you were there though and you are caring people! Poor LO, parents a bit weird IMO.

Original poster
larks35 · 08/08/2010 22:23

Maybe that's it PinkyMe, maybe the family had seen she was with DP or me and decided we were ok, without any knowledge of who were were.

OP posts:
LucyLouLou · 08/08/2010 22:23

She does sound like she might be slightly starved of affection. Very sad overall really.

CarGirl · 08/08/2010 22:26

My youngest really liked men, didn't seem to care whether she'd met them before or not - she's more selective now she's 4 thankfully.

ChippingIn · 09/08/2010 00:40

Maybe they knew where she was and maybe she knew where they were - small people can be very selective when they don't want to remember because they are having fun!

If the adults thought that she was having a nice time they may have been happy to let her get on with it, thinking if you didn't want her to hang out with you, you'd tell her - but you probably looked happy enough.

On the other hand they could be a feckless wastes of oxygen who don't deserve such a lovely little girl :(

However, I don't think it's fair to assume they didn't know where she was at all times, just because you didn't see them keeping an eye on her.

lalah7 · 09/08/2010 00:49

Do you remember when you were little how time used to seems to much longer? 5 mins used to seem like forever!! An hour must've seemed like an eternity to this little girl but she was happy to spend it with strangers (no offence)
Poor little mite...just as well she picked decent people to befriend (!). No offence but you could've been anyone IYKWIM..

ChippingIn · 09/08/2010 01:59

I don't understand why some of you are thinking 'poor little mite' she may have been perfectly happy making new friends, lots of little people are incredibly outgoing and friendly - it doesn't mean they aren't loved Hmm

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