to want to murder my MIL

[Babieseverywhere]

or at the very least be very rude to her when she rings up again

She pissed me off last week taking DD away for a few days when she knew I didn't want to be seperated from her, as I was already overdue for DC3. But she disregarded how I felt and arranged it with DH and TBH DD did have a lovely time, however I spent days worried about what was going to happen if I went into labour with DD so far away from home. I now it is 99% being hormonal but still.

Since DD has been home, she is ringing daily for news...which is bad enough. However if we do not answer the phone quick enough or if we are out of the house, MIL rings MY parents to worry them about our 'missing status'

Bearing in mind we are talking about a house with two children and two adults, we do not need monitoring.

Today We wanted to go swimming so I inisted that DH text MIL explaining that we were leaving the house WITHOUT phones, no the baby was not here and we would ring if anything changed.

She STILL BLOODY RANG UP just to bloody check if the baby was here. Can the BLOODY woman not take a BLOODY hint.

I know murder is out, but how unreasonable would I be to point out that my mother and friends manage not to ring me every day and certainly not bothering my parents.

Just stopping ringing us.

Oh, DH thinks MIL is being reasonable.

Ah, bless her, she is just caring.

What do you mean she took your dd away? Did you know where they were? Had you agreed to it?

Would you rather she didn't bother your family at all?

Poor MILs. They just can't win.

MUst be hard as you don't havr DH on your side. I think you wouold be well within your rights to say something to her yourself if it's irritating you. Maybe explain that it's upsetting for you own parents for hehr to ring them and that you will be sure to let her know once the baby arrives.

does she have a DD of her own?

My mil rings my parents if we don't answer the house phone or the mobile phone as well. DH has asked her not to but it's fallen on deaf ears. Your mil is obvioulsy excited. Can you not say you will ring when the baby is here. I would be more annoyed that dh ignored my anxiety at dd being taken away so close to the birth of the new baby and arranged for mil to have her.

I take it that there's no news yet?
I know she's been a pain, but she means well. Don't answer the phone/ get DH to answer.
Good luck with DC3 - I promise I won't ask again.

Before I even read your post, I thought YANBU, but that's because I've just spent the weekend with mine, who having read your post, sounds like she went to the same school of "How to be a right pain in the arse" as your MIL.

However good their intentions are, why can't they take a hint. My in laws moved in when I had my dd despite my very clearly stating I did not want any overnight visitors for the first few days. I came back from the hosp and they (PIL and SIL) had moved in to my very small 2 bed house. Stayed 4 days and rearranged all my furniture .

So yep I understand and no YANBU.

Pinkyme! That's awful. Presumably your DH let that happen. I would be furious.

It is awful.I would have insisted they leave.

I would be really pissed off if my MIL took my DD away for a few days knowing that I didn't want her to. But I would be more pissed off with my DH for agreeing to it behind my back. I would have insisted that they bring her home.
So, YANBU.
Wrt her phoning, I suggest you call your parents and tell them to disregard her calls, that there is nothing to worry about and you will let them know when there is news. Tell your MIL that you will also let her know when there is news. Then use caller ID to filter her phone calls. If you ask someone politely to do/not do something and they ignore you, then I feel you are entitled to be a bit more blunt.

Hope all goes well with your birth.

If I were you I'd explain to dh that it's his job to speakbto his mother and tell her 1 it's stressing the fMily that she rings all the time 2 once the baby is born you'll be letting her know but once labour starts you will both be incommunicado until after the birth 3 if she wants a daily update he will call her fir five min each evening at a set time

Sounds like your MIL is just excited and thinking of you and trying to help out by taking DD away for a bit.

If you didn't want DH and MIL to take DD then you should have put your foot down and insisted.

Get your DH to call her and tell her she's making you stressed and upsetting you both. You will call when the baby arrives.

Oh, and tell your parents she's odd and not to stress out when she calls...

YANBU
I read this as MIL wanting to be in control.
To ring your family just because you dont answer phones when SHE wants is totally out of order. It's making it all about HER
Yes she may be excited but to ring when she's been told you were going out is OTT
If there had been a real cause for concern/baby on way/baby arrived your DH would have rung her.

And DH is totally unreasonable too

I'd be sorely tempted to ask him if his mum was perhaps getting forgetful.
ie "I discussed DD going away but we decided it was to close to my date, wonder how she forgot?!
"Ii told her we'd phone when there was news and she seems to have forgotten and worried my family now!"

YANBU. She needs to back off and respect your wishes- it's pretty silly to go ringing your parents everytime she can't get hold of you.

oh and pinkyme I would have been fuming!

Does your mum ring every day?

She sounds completely OTT. I don't understand all the 'bless her' responses, to be honest. I know she's probably well-intentioned, but she's at risk of totally alienating herself from you if she continues with the constant checking up on your whereabouts.

Is she like this when you're not about to have a child? If not, put it down to her excitement and look forward to her calming down in a few months. If so, then you need to have a chat with DH about his mum and setting some boundaries.

I'd be so pissed off with DH with agreeing to your DD going off. That's a whole thread in itself....

Not sure about your DH OP, but mine just can't stand up to his parents. When he tries, they just ignore or overule him. They are extremely controlling and treat OH like a child. He often tries to avoid the confrontation but I do wish he'd just blow and tell them to back the hell off.

I ended up feeling sorry for him, despite being furious at the time, because his Dad stressed him out so much about daft things like having the lawn cut. I mean for Goodness sake, we've just had our first baby, lets make sure the grass is cut. FIL has a thing about grass

Feeling much better today and a lot less hormonal :)