to expect a better answer to this question...

[vixen1]

I'm starting to wonder if the communication issues in our marriage are all in my head or whether my husband really does communicate badly...

About his parents visiting us from France I asked: "What date are they arriving and what date are they staying until?"

He answered "The 23rd or 24th."

We've since established exactly what he does mean but he still can't see why this was an inadequate answer...

Am I missing something?? This happens so frequently it's become a massive issue for our relationship...

Does he communicate better on screen via email for example? I find that if I tell my dh something, he is likely to forget or ignore me, but if I email, and put it into his online diary, then I generally get a response. He's just not good at talking.

and anything relating to my inlaws, I phone my mil myself because I cannot rely on dh to give me information.

You see, you made the age old mistake of asking two questions at the same time

Some men (well the men in my family anyway) can't seem to cope with more than one question at a time, so if I am asking for information or for them to do something I have to ask one question e.g. "what date are your parents arriving?" wait for the answer then ask the next question "when are they leaving?" If I get a vague response I let them know exactly what info I need and when I need it. I also write reminders and check lists of info I need and things I would like to happen. Sounds long winded but I've got to know how DH works and DS seems to work in the same way, so it minimises misunderstandings and frustrations.

Bloody hell, this resonates with me... my ex used to do this. Sometimes it was like that sketch in The Two Ronnies where they give the answer to the question before. Used to drive me fucking crazy

It's quite depressing really. If I tell my DH something more than once, he gets all shirty and says he doesn't need me to keep repeating it, but if I only say it once, he will forget and not do the thing I've asked. He gets through the working day well enough though so have no explanation for this. Perhaps the brain can only handle so much info, therefore filters out what it knows someone else will deal with.

Thanks, there's some really good advice there. He's very "computery" so I think those things will definitely help.

Sadly those aren't our only issues but at least we have somewhere to start....

Happyslapper - PMSL, I love that sketch!!!

Sage advice indeed!

This happens to me all the time wrt in-laws!

So, I think I've got this right... one question at a time.

Phew! Here's to that quiet life I've been after for aeons!