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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

in being a bit annoyed at this.

8 replies

Nando95 · 08/08/2010 13:05

Sorry if this sounds petty but I need to get this off my chest! Me and a close friend have children who are both nearly 3. The kids get on very well and spend a lot of time together however I am having issues with my friends child taking a liking to my sons toys and refusing to give them back at hometime until her parents give into her and tell her she can take them home (obviously giving them back once she has forgotton about them and hiding the toy when it is given back so she doesnt see it being returned) sometimes they are toys which are my sons favourites and he gets upset when they are taken away but it would be a nightmare sorting through his toys everytime this child comes around and taking his favourites away everytime. The thing is the child in question refuses to share her toys and on the odd occasion when my son has had to borrow her car seat or a pair of socks she screams for hours and hours making herself sick in the process. I have also been told off by my friend when I take certain toys out to entertain my son with as her daughter likes them and will make a huge fuss when she cant take them home with her. When this happens her mum promises to buy her a toy like it (which she usually does that day) I dont mind on the odd occasion when she takes one of my sons toys home but it happens frequently and then my son get upset seeing her taking his toys. I dont personally believe in doing this as if my son takes a liking to a toy then he is told that he can play with it at his friends house but that it is not his and that he cant take it home which he accepts. Should I have a word with my friend or just let it go and maybe the child in question will grow out of it!! x

OP posts:
BuzzingNoise · 08/08/2010 13:09

why do you let her take your property home?

coolma · 08/08/2010 13:11

^^absolutley. Don't let it happen! If she kicks off, it's her mother's problem I'm afraid!

Nando95 · 08/08/2010 13:13

I am made to feel like the child is suffering because she is having a huge tantrum and her mum gets into a massive flap and says can we just borrow this- I will return it later! She is a bit harrassed and find things hard and is a loyal and genorous person who I really dont want to fall out with!! But you have a very very good point!

OP posts:
hocuspontas · 08/08/2010 13:14

Sorry, they are your son's toys, I can't believe she says her dd can take them home! She needs to stop giving in to these tantrums. You can help by refusing to let her 'borrow' your son's toys. Good luck!

PueriSimilisCanis · 08/08/2010 13:15

just say no to the mum

take from the child saying this stays at nando's house and you can play with it next time

Tippychoocks · 08/08/2010 13:16

minefield. You'll sound petty for saying no but I think you have to.
Next time it happens say no because your son was inconsolable after they left with his toy the last time. Other than saying to your face that her child's tears are more important that your child's, she can't really object.

SloanyPony · 08/08/2010 13:18

You could try saying to her "Ooh, that's a bit of a favourite here too at the moment, why dont we leave it here this time and see what happens, as it might not be as bad as you think".

If she says "it will be a tantrum" etc just say "oh, sorry, mean Nando, it'll blow over" and give her The Paris Shrug.

BonzoDoodah · 08/08/2010 13:20

Eeek difficult - but it's not helping at all is it? All it is teaching her child is that having a massive tantrum means she gets her own way. It's hard to be strong but she needs to start sorting this out now, as I'm sure you know. I'd start by making subtle comments to that line and also saying in a quite non-hostile way - " oh no DS is really fond of that at the moment so I could't possibly let it go as he'll be really upset when he comes to play with it" . Let her see that it does have an impact on your child and to be honest your DS and his toys come first.

What does she do if she goes to a play centre and DD wants to take toys form there? It's a no-no. And if she's not been to one yet - maybe you can add that to the argument that her DD needs to get used to the rules of life.

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