AIBU to be shocked?

[bedubabe]

Attempting to disguise facts in case IABU and the parents somehow read this post and are upset.

Ok so broadly the situation is this:

Family choose for 6 year old daughter to go to stay with a close relative over the summer holiday for various reasons. This is approx a 7-hour flight away. This is just background. I have no problem with this.

Child is close to her relative but hasn't seen them much in the last year due to 7 hour flight. Child does speak the local language fluently. Again background.

Child has a freak accident involving hospitalisation and an injury that will require a general anesthetic (sp) to rectify. Very lucky no broken back was involved (this is from the doctor). Quality of hospital care is not an issue btw.

Neither parent has flown back to be with child. Child has said that she's fine and they don't need to.

AIBU to be shocked? DH thinks I am being overly judgemental. The child is 6. Surely her parents should be there to look after her during a traumatic period regardless of whether she says she needs them. I can't imagine not being on the first flight in the circumstances. As far as I'm aware the cost of the journey is not the issue.

I'm aware that's it's none of my business but I'm feeling really sorry for the little girl :(

Different strokes for different folks i reckon , personally if it were my child i would have to go & see for myself that the child was OK , but maybe in this case they fully trust the relative & feel secure in the knowledge that their child is in safe hands .

She didn't travel on the flight on her own - parents took her back, stayed for a week and then came back. Someone will pick her up as well.

Oh i see sorry.

Well personally i would be on the first flight over there but admittedly i am an overprotective mother at the best of times .
hope the lo makes a speedy recovery .

She didn't need them, they didn't feel they needed to go. I don't think they've done anything wrong by not going, but I am that they wouldn't want to go.

You can't judge - there's nothing that the parents could do that her relatives couldn't so there's no practical need for them to be there.

But I know that, whether or not I was well off, I would find the money to get out there asap because I couldn't bear not to!

Of course i Chuffing would be on a flight ASAP so no YANU

Wouldnt send DS away for that long anyway personally unless I had absolutley no choice. Feel very lucky not to have to make such a decision.

On first look, it seems sad the parents haven't chosen to go anyway. But I don't know all the circumstances - other inescapable commitments, cost of flights, whatever - so can't judge. Neither should you, really. The child is with a close & caring relative, people can readily communicate across continents these days and the parents clearly do care very much about the child.

So on balance, I guess, YABU.

another YANBU here but I'm another mum who wouldn't let ds go abroad to stay with family for that long (he's 6 in 2 weeks).

In fact his dads family live abroad and altho contact is limited he WILL not be going without me to stay with people who don't know him that well - and by that I mean constant contact.

But then again he's going to stay with mum and sister in a caravan for 3 days and I'm ready worried about how much I'll miss him

namechange: we don't like in the UK and it's very hot over the summer here i.e. no outdoor play at all. Her parents both work full time so can't take her away for a long break. I know it's not for everyone but I don't think they're being unreasonable sending her 'away' for the hols.

I suppose my issue is do you really believe a 6 year-old when she says she doesn't need mummy and daddy? She won't have a proper understanding of what the operation involves etc. I also find it a bit worrying that she doesn't feel like she needs them or feels she should say she doesn't need them. I'd want DH there if the same thing happened to me.

I do realise everyone's different though.

Yes, I wouldn't have sent someone that young that far away either. I don't judge people who do, I just can't understand how they are able to do it!

BED I see, but still agree that a DC that age would need their mummy or daddy, and older too.

Sometimes children are quite brave and will say what they think grown ups want to hear. I do think they should be there.

Hope she ok

Itsgrace (cross post). That's DH's argument, also that i'm judging because I don't like the parents which is perfectly true :o hence the AIBU to get some perspective.

However, I really don't think it's a finacial problem. The father will (for various reasons) have problems getting leave but I just can't believe there'd be a problem with the mother getting at least unpaid leave in the circumstances.

Of course it doesn't make any difference to my life at the end of the day was just wondering whether my reaction was 'normal'.

looks like it is :)

I think your reaction is normal, FWIW.
I had a friend at Uni (yes, she was eighteen, and legally an adult), who came down with appendicitis, and I went with her to hospital. Her mum lived just over an hour away, but when I called her, said she was 'too tired' to drive over, and would ask the docs when they thought she ought to - and I was horrified!! Judgey pants of me, but still! She was in pain, and I couldn't believe her mum didn't want to be there.
Your reaction (assuming it's kept to yourself) is up to you, so no, YANBU.