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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be irritated by people who describe themselves as Vegetarian yet who happily eat fish!

173 replies

Housewife2010 · 07/08/2010 20:54

I know several friends & work colleagues who describe themselves as Vegetarian, but they eat fish. Why not just say that they don't eat meat? I didn't think that a fish was a plant!

OP posts:
Fontella · 08/08/2010 00:50

When I saw the thread about vegetarians and fish, I thought ooh something I can post on, having had experience of people dishing up fish for me when I go for dinner. I agree with the OP ... what's wrong with saying I don't eat meat but I eat fish?

Innocent and lighthearted until I realised I'd found myself in the middle of a big barney!

Just reread the thread and I've got so say Milady ... I don't understand why you are getting so upset and defensive. There's no ganging up that I can see, just people making the (very obvious) point that someone who eats flesh (however infrequently) isn't a vegetarian. It's a no brainer really.

If you consider yourself a vegetarian why do you eat fish/meat twice a year? You obviously don't like it that much or you'd eat it more. I'd say you're mostly vegetarian but have the occasional lapse and leave it there.

Some of us don't eat fish/meat cos we don't like it (I'm in that category), some of us make a conscious decision not to eat fish/meat because of the animal welfare aspects. I'm not quite sure what category you fall in to? You can't be eating flesh twice a year to be social surely, nor because it's doing you some good in terms of dietary requirements.

It really isn't anything to get upset about or fall out with people. You eat what you want to eat and after 35 years of whatever it is, you decided you will occasionally partake of a bit of flesh. It's your choice and vegetarianism occurs for all sorts of reasons and comes in all kinds of degrees from all out touching nothing of animal origin (the vegan end of the scale) to folks like me who eat dairy, to the 'vegetarians' who some of my dinner hosts cater for who eat fish, only I'm not one of them.

We can call ourselves whatever we want, but I've got to say posting on a thread like this saying I'm a vegetarian but I eat flesh twice a year, was kind of asking for some of the responses you've received, don't you think?

ChippingIn · 08/08/2010 00:51

Ladycad - have you actually bothered to read the thread??

MiladyDeSummer · 08/08/2010 01:19

ChippingIn have you bothered to read my recent posts?

Fontella - thanks. You have summed up my position in a non-offensive way which seems to have been beyond seemingly-articulate previous posters.

You have a real gift for rhetoric. Are you a lawyer?

Glitterandglue · 08/08/2010 02:54

YANBU. 'Tis bizarre. It'd be like the Lib Dems walking into Parliament one day and announcing, "Okay, from now on we're going to refer to ourselves as Labour." You can bet Labour's response would be somewhere in the realm of, "What the fuck? You can't do that! We're Labour! That will just confuse people!"

Noticed someone earlier on brought up hospitals too...word to the wise, if you're vegan, you'd better bring in a lot of food with you if you ever need to stay in hospital. I did two days in there a couple of years ago and all they could give me was a plain baked potato and salad [well, lettuce, tomato and cucmber]. And this was after a very nice woman came from the kitchens to ask me what I ate - she said afterwards she'd have to speak to the nutritionist, but he wasn't back before I got out. You would think a place whose purpose it is to make people healthy would have a general idea of how to cater for people with limited diets in a balanced manner...

ItsGraceActually · 08/08/2010 03:10

This thread's really made me laugh! Thanks, everyone Grin

FWIW, I'm an omnivore but I do cook for guests' preferences (except for one humiliating occasion when I made mushroom casserole for a vegan ... with chicken stock. Oops.)

Can't decide whether you're BU or not but don't care much Wink

nymphadora · 08/08/2010 06:53

vallhalla what's the veggie sweet website? May as well improve my eating habits! Though not a big fan of jelly type sweets anyway, apart from midget gems

proudnsad · 08/08/2010 07:16

Milady - you seem to have been arguing against imaginary offenders throughout this thread and to have been intent on on spouting off about your head-fucky diet in a self pitying, defensive and dull way. So there!

To everyone else, yes agree it's irritating to call yourself veggie but 'only eat pepperoni' or whatever! How difficult is it to say 'I don't eat red meat' or 'I'll have the veggie option' etc without pontificating endlessly on what you are or aren't.

MamaG · 08/08/2010 07:18

I've just remembered why I hardly post on MN anymore

StealthPolarBear · 08/08/2010 07:23

Milady & Milly we are in similar positions
I became 'vegetarian' at the age of 8 (22 years ago), but still ate meat at school because there wasn't really any other option. A couple of years later the dinners improved so I became a full on vegetarian. However in that time I've not been as careful about rennet or gelatine as I should have been, and now (although this wouldn't have been the case 5 years ago) I wouldn't get too upset if I found out that animal stock was used in a meal I'd had. I also had fish oil capsules through pregnancy. So I guess strictly I'm no longer a vegetarian, but would never choose to eat meat or fish.
Vegetarian is the term I use to decribe it but I can see that I'm not so am happy to use any other term :o

Milady, I do think you are getting unnecessarily defensive though. It's not a competition. Eat what you like and leave what you don't. I think people are just saying you can't use the label 'vegetarian' for someone who occasionally eats meat or fish - the level of meatiness or fishiness has no bearing on this.

bulby · 08/08/2010 07:34

Whilst I can see the irritation, I think it is a personal choice what people eat ( and by extension wear) by saying they are vegetarian even though they themselves know they are not it saves an age of trying to explain and then justify to judgy people their choice. I find it very rude when I'm at a table and somebody starts getting someone to justify their personal decision .

PorphyrophillicPixie · 08/08/2010 07:49

YANBU, I'm a strict veggie and my says she is but eats fish.

HOWEVER, I can understand why as I remember going out with her for a meal once and I said to the waiter that I was a vegetarian and my sister was a pescetarian, what was there to eat? The server just got all confused and said that they had to go ask the kitchen, obviously embarrassed to ask what a pesce was.

It's not a well known word, and it's easier to describe yourself as vegetarian then to explain it. But then it also makes it complicated for actual veggies because restaurants then assume that all veggies will eat fish!

PorphyrophillicPixie · 08/08/2010 07:49

That should be my sister Blush

MiladyDeSummer · 08/08/2010 08:14

"Pestetarian" is a word now Porphy. And "nobber". But I imagined them according to proudandsad who then went on to add a few imaginary adjectives of her own.

So. To recap, IABU to describe myself as a veggie and should use non meat-eater. That is fine.

And people who eat rennet, gelatine, fish oils and animal stock - can use it since most people wouldn't notice?

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 08/08/2010 08:46

Isn't it more odd to eat dairy than fish? Assuming one avoids meat for moral reasons that is. What do people think happens to all the surplus male calves?

Megatron · 08/08/2010 08:53

YANBU. It's ridiculous. DH is vegetarian i.e. he doesn't eat anything with a face and a heartbeat. You can't be selective about these things, it's embarrassing.

ChippingIn · 08/08/2010 08:55

Jenai - that's a whole different thread!! Grin

Milady - sadly yes, why do you ask?

PorphyrophillicPixie · 08/08/2010 08:57

Jenai: I can't help thinking the same. That and the people who claim that they are all about being green and want their carbon footprint as low as possible but don't seem to understand how eating meat every day goes against that statement...

CrunchyFrog · 08/08/2010 09:07

I describe DS1 as vegetarian purely to ease social problems for him. He has a sensory issue with meat (also quorn and mushrooms) so while I do offer it regularly in different forms, I never insist he eats it.

(Unlike my mother who "tricks" him into eating it, mainly by smothering it in ketchup. Hmm Well done, you got one over on an ASD 5 year old, you WIN! Grin)

Anyway, it is pure social easing, because it prevents him being put in a situation where he will display "rude" behaviour, ie, refusing food.

I don't find this unethical - but he will eat fish fingers.

Bobbalina · 08/08/2010 09:17

YABU

common definition of vegetarian is simply not eating meat

why get so fussed over it, it's really of little consequence

ccpccp · 08/08/2010 09:32

YABU

My vegetarianism is bigger that yours!

Veges are common as muck nowadays. Bit like tattoos - they used to be cool but now every fuker has got one.

No-one cares!

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 08/08/2010 09:35

I should say that I have no problem with meat or dairy, aalthough I do have with the way both are produced and consumed in such a cruel and unsustainable way. Of course if you eat fish you.re not a "real" vegetarian but nor are you (morally as opposed to in dietry terms) if you don't avoid dairy, imo.

MuffinsMummy · 08/08/2010 09:41

"I find more annoying meat eaters who wont eat fish - and often at least one type of meat as well"

That is so my DH! It gets very annoying as he won't eat anything remotely fishy, pork or turkey. It makes our meal choices rather limited!

ChippingIn · 08/08/2010 09:44

Jenai - you are just making up your own definition of vegetarian. There is a perfectly good word to describe people who don't eat meat OR dairy - VEGAN.

ccpccp - those of us who are vegetarian do (think it's a big deal), especially when non vegetarians keep claiming to be vegetarian but then eating chicken or fish and making the general public think it's what vegetarians do, so it's perfectly acceptable to serve up chicken or fish to a vegetarian who then has the embarassment of explaining that chicken/fish is not a vegetarian option.

CruncyFrog - why don't you just say he doesn't eat meat or mushrooms??

Minxie1977 · 08/08/2010 09:49

What ChippingIn said - when I was veggie I ate no gelatine, wore no leather, etc. I ate dairy so I was a VEGETARIAN. The whole milk is cruel, what about eggs debate is another debate entirely. Studies have shown Fish show a pain response which is whay I didn't eat them, but it was mainly as I was a VEGETARIAN - aaarrrggghh Smile

sarah293 · 08/08/2010 09:57

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