to find it irritating that men are expected to be crap ....

[pamelat]

The amount of times i have read that you are lucky if your DH/DP gets up with the kids/takes them out/cooks them tea etc ...

I was swimming with my DD and DS last week and DH was with us in the pool and a woman told me how lucky I was to have such a good DH (which then goes to his head )

Surely its not lucky, its his bloody role too!!! He doesnt get told he is lucky that I take DD swimming.

I find it really annoying and it justifies some dads behaving in a bad manner.

Ih my DH was not like he is with our children then i would be asking questions and be upset on their behalf.

My ILs were horrified when I 'let' him take our DD out as a baby. They all treated men as imbeciles who couldnt be trusted with a baby. They were also all single... go figure.

My mum sometimes says 'oh he is good' when I mention OH is doing something slightly domestic.

She trails off a bit sheepishly though.

I agree.

I always try to post to disagree with anyone who says men with that sigh that suggests that posession of a Y chromosome and a penis makes people incapable of carrying out basic tasks or understanding simple things.

Men are not crap. The one man you are talking about might be. Being male is no excuse.

You are most definitely not being unreasonable.

Excusing bad behaviour on account of just masculinity is not acceptable.

YANBU

I hate "Oh, men, aren't they hopeless?" posts.

No, they are not hopeless. Your man is, but only because you allow him to be.

As to the "Isn't he good?". No, he is not good, he is not fab. He is a Dad, just like I am a Mum and we both do our best for our family.

ooh, it annoys me too! Some of my friends are amazed that DH does his own ironing and makes his own sandwiches for work, as well as helping out with cooking and chores now I am a SAHM. As far as I'm concerned, when I worked full time we did an equal share of cooking/housework and each did our own ironing, so why should it be any different now? My job is to look after the kids in the daytime, in the evening/weekends childcare and chores are both our responsibility, surely? (Though for the record I'd like to point out that I still do more housework than he does )

It also annoys me on the rare occasions I go out and someone says 'oh, is DH babysitting tonight?' I usually reply 'no, he's looking after his OWN CHILDREN - that's not baybysitting!'

Actually, thinking about it. Could you imagine the uproar if a man were to come on MN and have a moan about his wife not folding the sock properly, and then "But what can you do, women are all like that, I cannot even ask her to empty the dishwasher as she does not do it correctly"

And all the other posters would say, "Tut tut, what are they like? Mine cannot deal with the dishwasher, and as for ironing, forget it."

I hate the phrase 'I am/he is just a man.' Just a man? Since when did owning penis excuse you from being a competent, thoughtful adult?

YANBU

If DH wasn't out in the park with dcs when would I get on MN?

It is an incredibly patronising attitude, towards both sexes.