to want to move house

[Dragonwoman]

I live in a small village. It is in pretty countryside, has a good village school, which feeds an excellent secondary & DCs are happy there. DH has no strong opinions about the area.
But I keep getting itchy feet & want to move. I find the village too quiet, we have just one small shop & few facilities. To get anywhere means a car journey. There is nowhere to walk with the pram/buggy. I feel uneasy walking down deserted country lanes on my own & feel vulnerable although I know its irrational- I like to walk among plenty of people to feel safe. Everyone knows your business & I haven't managed to make many close friends in the village despite being on committees etc.
I was happy enough 'til I lost my job as I wasn't at home during the day, so didn't notice the lack of facilities etc so much. I am unlikely to get another job locally that pays enough to cover childcare.

I want to live in a small town ideally, with shops, a library, cafes, doctors etc I can walk to. But it would mean taking my older DCs from a school they are happy in & sending them somewhere potentially not as good & spending alot of money moving for no good reason. A house in town the same price as ours would be smaller also.

I am just being discontented & silly aren't I?

Hmm, maybe you are a bit, but I grew up in a teeny village and I can totally understand what you mean.
Are there any slightly larger villages nearby possibly?
Sorry about your job, that sucks.
As you can see I have no advice but lots of sympathy!

I'm in a similar situation and no, I will not move out of the area unless it's for a very big, much better/bigger reason because the children are so happy, settled and doing well at school.

Not worth moving them to a not so good school, IMO.

Easier for you to get another job or start your own business to keep you busy - even an evening, weekend job in a pub so you don't have to worry about childcare fees.

Or move to another home where you kids can go to same school.

The grass is always greener on the other side, and that's a lesson it took me nearly 40 years to learn. The hard way.

I can't work evenings or weekends - DH often works late or Saturdays. Anyway it's the week that's the problem. All the feeder areas to the secondary school are similar to this one - probably why their results are so good - no inner city problems I guess. The kids are a bit stranded when they come to look for work though unless they get a car ASAP. I did used to live in a livelier area & would like to move back there. But the secondary school is not great. I wouldn't send the kids there. I've also lived in a local town pre-kids, but the house was wrong - too expensive to maintain.
Another alternative is to move to a completely different part of the country now I don't have to think about my job. DH could probably find work elsewhere easily. But I don't feel I can uproot the whole family on a whim.
I wouldn't have a clue how to start my own business. And don't think it would help the social isolation I feel if I were to work from home (and I certainly couldn't afford premises. Or the childcare).
I know it is silly. On paper everything is great. But I can't shake this nagging feeling of 'not rightness'. I keep telling myself that everything is a compromise & to put up with it!

how long have you lived there?

About 10 years. But was working full-time for most of it.

' I keep telling myself that everything is a compromise & to put up with it!'

Yeah, it is. I have to put my kids and their needs in front of mine just now. It's not forever. They grow up.

You make your own happiness and everywhere you go, you always take the weather with you.

What expat said