awful day and DH gone out

[stoppingat3]

I'll start by saying I've had an awful awful day so go easy on me! A child in my DS class died last week after a brave battle. So so desperately sad for her and her family.
The funeral was today and originally DH was going to take the afternoon off. But then a meeting came up and I had to pull in a favour with a friend to get the youngest looked after.
I got home about 6pm, nothing done said to DH, lets get children fed and get a takeaway I'm done.
Oh he said did I not tell you its ex bosses leaving do tonight I'm going out,
Now this is his x boss and DH has kind of got his job but its a smallish industry so I understand the need to keep it friendly etc etc
but.. AIBU to expect just one time for me to come first? I just needed to cry and be cuddled and instead I'm on my bloody own and feel completely wrung out
I think he knows that I'm upset with him but should I just let it go? Life's to short I know but I'm so bloody fed up. #Sorry rant over!

I am sorry you have had a tough day, and also to hear that a little child has died.

A bit insensitive of dh after you have had a traumatic time, so i think YANBU, any chance he will make it a quick one and bring a takeaway back?

It is awful, but it perhaps depends how close you are to the mother & were to the child?

I too think it depends how close you were to the child and parents.

We were all close, especially over the last year, DH knew this, the whole year group have been affected massively.
He knew I would be upset and drained after today (as all the parents are) I think this is why he "forgot" to tell me.
no he won't bring takeaway back its 30 minutes away and he only went at 7.
just wanted to take my mind off some of the things today.

Did you actually say "Stay home with me tonight, I am really upset and need you?".

Life really is a lot easier if you just say stuff, DH can't guess what I want, I need to tell him.

If you did and he went out anyway then he is a dick.

A little boy in DS's nursery died it was awful, and knocked me for 6 completely. I don't think either of us took our eyes of DS for about a month afterwards.

OP, I'm so sorry for the awful time you've had, not to mention this poor child and his/her family. How old was this child?

I can understand why your DH feels he needs to be at this do tonight, I hope he makes it up to you tomorrow.

My deepest condolances to this child's family and friends.

sort of, I came in all cried out, puffy eyes etc. said about getting a take away and was told he was going out.
I think I said something along the lines of, do you have to? he then said shall i go get you chocolate.
he knows i wanted him to stay as i was very quiet
I know he's trying to be nice but he works away ALOT and is never here when I need him and tonight I did.

They really can be thick sometimes can't they? Did you get the chocolate at least? If you are really really upset then I think you should call him.

I would call DH, he knows that it would have to be pretty bad for me to do so and so would come running.

She was 7 :-( and so beautiful courageous and clever,

No I won't call him - he wouldn't come.
Have got red wine and holby on the iplayer.
Thanks xx

Can you ask him to come home? Surely he doesn't need to be out all night for a leaving do? He's shown his face and you need him. Anyone that couldn't understand him needing to be there for his wife on a day like today is not worth the energy.

I think it would be more reasonable for him to have gone out for one or two drinks and then come home.

Yes, Dueling, that would be a good compromise.

I suppose I cope better alone with this sort of thing as when I read it I wonder what the OP wants her husband to do?