My son is 14. His birth father had for alternate weekends until I moved out of the area when I met my new husband when DS was 3. But, during that time he was often late to collect him (sometimes causing me to be late for work, he knew this) and left DS with his Mother whilst he went out to 'gigs' as he is in a band. I found this infuritating but let it go as DS was not unhappy/in any danger and I wanted to encourage a relationship with his Dad.
In the last ten years my son's Dad has been lying to the CSA about his earnings.work circumstancesas far as I know (he certainly was initially) and has paid the minimum £5 per week maintenance. He has also only made the effort to come and see or collect my son twice although he has seen him at other times when we have been visiting family nearby, so it is then convenient to collect him. He stays in occasional contact with DS via DS's mobile phone and does usually send birthday/christmas presents, although they are always, without fail, late and he sometimes sends nothing. He also promised DS he'd pay for music lessons and bought him a guitar, but then refused to pay for the music lessons when DS wanted to go so we ended up paying as I didn't want DS to miss out.
Anyway, DS's Dad wants to see him over the holidays. Apparently he has a 'gig' he'd like DS to go to. It would be 'fun'. Ok, fine, DS wants to see his Dad too. Whilst making arrangements with DS's Dad on the phone I asked if there was any possibility of him helping out with DS's school uniform. He said he didn't think he could afford it if he had to pay to come and collect DS. I don't believe him and stated that I thought the maintenance he was paying was pitiful and that I didn't think I was unreasonable in expecting him to pay a little more or contributing to things for DS occasionally when he could afford it. He said he just didn't have any money and I asked what he meant by 'no money', was he working etc? He said it was none of my business and he wasn't going to pay any more etc and wouldn't discuss it. I (childishly) said I wasn't going to discuss arrangements for DS to visit then and put the phone down.
I really feel like just telling him to sod off. He either has to make a proper commitment to seeing/speaking to DS on a regular basis and acting like a proper father of just butt out. The man is a moron and I don't feel he contributes in a positive eway to DS's life at all. He treats DS like a toy he can just put down when he feels like it.
I am BU, aren't I?