to find the sheer physical hard work the toughest thing about motherhood?

[abirdinthehand]

It's not the emotions, or my post-baby tummy, or loss of income - it's the sheer physical work of it. It's the most physical 'job' i've ever done, including working in old peoples homes!

From 3 months when they start pinching and pulling hair and biting nipples, kicking their little legs at you and scratching, to the effort of lifting and carrying all day long, bending and reaching, dealing with a tantruming 2 yr old kicking and yelling, lifting them up and down from highchairs / climbing frames, crawling under the sofa to get toys - i feel physically beaten up by the end of the day. And way older than 28. Is it just me? Are my kids particularly vicious, or do everyones' little darlings periodically maul them?

All good for core body strength!

I see where you are coming from, and think it could easily be that way if for example I had two boisterous little boys.

But with one DD who has just started walking, its just the fact that there is never a day off from being a mum - the mental burden and responsibility, if you see what I mean.

I wouldn't change things for the world - I love DD and have a great tine with her. But when I look back at DH and me on our honeymoon, carefree in pre-DD days, I marvel at how free we were and how much greater a responsibility we have now.

[Slumps under burden of parenthood emoticon] !

Ha - but not so good for my back! I've got pins and needles in my shoulders, that's not right! And bruises, and a cut on my chest where 6 month old grabbed me with sharp nails. Honsetly, I've never beed so physically 'abused' in my life!

Bump - I have 2 boisterous boys

2.7 and 6 months

And boy do they beat me up.

(I don't mean my toddler actually is physically aggressive to me deliberatly, but just in the course of the day I'm jumped on, kicked by accident, pushed etc...)

abirdinthe hand:

I conpletly agree, totally, absolutly, completly. Before having DD I was pretty fit, frequrently rock climbed, skiied and went hill walking. I've trekked in the Himalayas and camped on snow.

None of this even remotely compares to the sheer physicality of looking after DD!

What got me was the pregnancy. I got severe SPD and ended up in a wheelchair, so rather than starting motherhood being fit and active I was a complete physical wreck.

Everything that 'the books' warn you about I have found reasonably ok, but the sheer hard physical work has shocked me so much.

Ah, just wait for the emotional battering you'll take when they hit their teens

Its true. If a stranger made you do/did the things to you that your children do, you'd have them arrested!!

And at 28, you have it easy. Try it at 41 with a chronic illness.

do you think maybe its due to having spd in pregnancy that the physical work is feeling much harder on you? not sure if that makes a difference? but i have two boys aswel 2.1 and 7 months (and they are huge both of them, over 90th percents really heavy and tall boys) but i dont really find the physical side of it too exhausting. for me the most tiring thing is whining, if i have a day when toddler is really whining and moany it wears me down very very quickly
but i am not sure if it is normal to get so physically knackered by your kid, a bit tired yes but are you sure your not lacking any iron or vitamins or anything? because you are not really old either.

Agree.

Same as Bumpsadaisie

Wierdly (because had my dd when already ancient) I find the emotional side of parenting (tantrums, endless negotiating, constant worrying on their behalf) MUCH, much harder than the physical side (and live in old house with holes in walls and loads of stairs so wasn't easy in v. early years).

But have only one (dd) so fairly easy overall I suppose.

My DCs are older now, but I had my youngest at 36 and I was beyond exhausted - it is a very physical job, and all the more physically tiring because you can't switch off, you're always slightly watchful and tense.

But the lifting is good for bingo wings. Every cloud, etc.

God, no! YABVU. For me it wasn't and has never been the physical work despite having 2 DC, one of whom is about to be assessed for SN.

It's the sheer bloody mind-numbing boredom of it all that gets to me.

And the sheer drudgery of the constant laundry and mopping and food preparation and picking up the same stuff off the floor over and over again. I haven't slept the same since DD1 was born 20 years ago -- always a bit like the cat, ready to spring into action, whereas before, I could sleep through an earthquake.

Ooh, yes, I'm bored too, and they whine... I guess I was a bit more prepared for that, and I was prepared for endless housework and mess, but I guess I never realised how PHYSICAL parenting is.

Maybe I am deficient in something - but it's nhot that I'm tired, I'm just bruised / strained / aching / scratched / sore! I can't believe two such small people can hurt me so often! And it's not intentional, they're just bloody inconsiderate

I think I need to do yoga or sometime for my back, honestly

I feel permanently physically battered too birdinthehand... one VERY "spirited" 3.6 yo DS here (not agressive/violent you understand, just VERY tactile, bouncy etc)... and 7mths pg which makes me notice it all the more as I'm CONSTANTLY having to remind him to be gentle and not squash the baby!

However I agree with Firawla that the whining is the hardest thing... for me ATM anyway.

I don't think anyone IBU particularly, it's all hard work!

Yep. Already developing mummy biceps and my lad is only 4 weeks old. Bugger me my arms ache too. (It's because he fights and struggles with excitement when he wants to feed and it takes ages to latch him on. . . )

In answer to your question..christ yes!

My DTs are 3.10 and my upper back is now totally shot to pieces from pregnancy, to breastfeeding to all the general lifting and bending that motherhood entails. I wish I'd had them ten years younger, then perhaps I wouldn't feel like such a knackered old bag of aches and pains at 40! I feel like I've aged at least 10 years physically since I had them! (worth it tho )

It is knackering.

DS is nearly 2, and is 2.5 stone of solid muscle. His favourite new game is jumping on me or DP as we lie prone across the bed, in a WWF smackdown style, feet/knees first. Good job we love him, because physically it's like wrestling a doberman.

My MIL swears that her left-sided arthritis and shorter left leg are entirely due to carrying three kids on her left hip (not all at once).

So glad... I thought it was just me. I feel 10 years older than I think I should and I'm sure I'm walking like a pensioner. I can't think of a joint in my body that doesn't hurt - my right shoulder feels like it's about to give up completely. DD is 3mo - and by the looks of this thread it's going to get worse before it gets better!!

for me, it's the talking.

When they were four and one, it was the bending, lifting, holding, restraining, pushing, carrying ... now they are 7 and 4, it's the negotiation, the reasoning, the answering, the explaining, the step by step instructing...

I must be like an ox. I never feel physically exhausted at the end of the day. Even when I had stationary babies that needed carting everywhere, I didn't feel the burn. I'm not particularly fit or strong either, just average I would say.

The non-stop jibber jabber that puts me on the brink of tears.

YANBU.

After 2 weeks of having a poorly 2.5yr old with a unknown bug and wanting to be carried/cuddled all the time and 18mth old cutting 4 back teeth wanting carry/cuddling all the time my arms feel like lead weights .

colditz mine are 4 and 2.10, and the talking just drives me wild sometimes!

But, I know what you all mean about the physical. The holding, cuddling, carrying, lifting, being jumped on or tackled from both sides...my arms are in the best shape ever, but boy, this is the drawback of having kids in my 30's!!!