to think that if I knocked on my neighbours door where baby's screaming it's head off few times a day

[kayah]

for the last few weeks I would get a black eye

I think parents have enough of it too, and me offering help (I don't know them) would just infuriate them

I think it's kind of you but if you don't already know them too well, might it not be a bit well..awkward for everyone?

What kind of help do you mean? Doing the ironing or something? Or do you want to help do stuff with the baby? I think on both counts if I didn't know the neighbour well I would have felt uncomfortable about it tbh, even a little railroaded.

Gosh I know you only mean well and that is so so kind, but it could be a sensitive time for them. They probably do need a bit of help, who doesn't where babies are concerned. But even so maybe if you got to know them a little better generally first and then offer.

TheMoonOnAStick - that is exactly my worry
people are very sensitive and even kind words could be taken the wrong way round if mum had bad night etc

since having my 2 kids a while ago and being with them then 24/7 for many months I remember I felt at times like a prisoner in my own house

it is all in the past now, but I would have loved someone to knock on my door and ask how I was doing

DS was a screamer. I would have loved it if someone had knocked on the door with cake

Although actually maybe not then...because with screaming ds and 18 month old dd my house was a tip and I would have been embarrased for you to see it.

Also if you'd come during a screaming fit I#d have been stressed, harrassed and busy trying to settle ds so probably wouldnt have seemed very friendly though I would have appreciated it and felt guilty for not being welcoming later.

Can you call over the fence and ask if they fancy a cuppa?

My DD is 2.9 and has been known to scream when she is tired or wanting her own way. I also have 3 boys, so we are a very noisy family and I do worry that I am disturbing my neighbours (who have 2 very quiet DDs). I think I would feel a bit uncomfortable if they came round and offered to help though. Your neighbours don't necessarily need help, they may just have a baby who is loud. They could be coping just fine with their 'screamer'. I don't think I'd value my neighbour coming round when one of my DC is having a tantrum. They might also think it is an indirect way of you letting them know that the baby is disturbing you and that you are complaining in a 'nice' way. If you don't really know them, I think you should leave them be for now and maybe get chatting if you bump into them sometime. Take it from there.

Aw, I think it is so sad to not try and extend a hand of friendship just in case it's taken the wrong way. That's how we all ended up so sodding insular in this country.

You do need to be careful you don't sound judgy, but that's why I'd go with the "I have been there, I know what it's like. Tell me to piss off if you like, but I thought I'd bring cake and, if I can be of any other help, let me know." In fact, I might even say that she could tell me to piss off if she liked, breaks the ice

don't go and knock. mum will have enough on her plate with baby without feeling as though she is causing a uisance, however well meaning you may be.

Try and catch her out and about and comment on how lovely baby is, how is she for her? that sort of stuff. if she says she is finding it tough then ask her if she fancies a hand at any time.