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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think dds Godmother might offer to babysit for a couple of hours when she comes to stay?

12 replies

minxofmancunia · 05/08/2010 11:59

Dds godmother is one of my best friends, she's lovely obviously otherwise we wouldn't have asked her to be Godmother. She moved from Manc to Bristol a year ago after leaving an 8 year dead end relationship. Anyway she's finally managed to sell the house in Stockport her and her ex bought together so is coming to stay with us for a few days to sort stuff out.

Over Christmas when I was having a rought time with insomnia and other stuff she said "jus ask you know I'll come and babysit for the eveining" I told her not to be silly would not expect someome to come up from bristol to babysit!

However she's staying 3 days, dd will either have to go in with ds (gosmother goes in her bed) and we're having probs with her sleep at the mo which means he may get disrupted (he's 10m) or us go in with him (he has a futon bed in his room) and godmother have our bed which mean I won't sleep as his ruffling and sniffling will keep me awake (insomnia still a big prob). Anyway whenever we stay with friends with kids I always offer to babysit one night as I know how hard it is to get out and how great it is when you get the opportunity.

I'm going out with her on sat for a meal, AIBU to think it might be nice of her to offer to babysit for night for a couple of hours whilst the dcs are in bed?? Just because it's something I'd do esp if i was a Godmother. She doesn't have dcs but she does have 2 nephews.

I prob ABU aren't I??

OP posts:
Porcelain · 05/08/2010 12:03

If she doesn't have other commitments (as she is up there sorting stuff out) and wouldn't usually mind babysitting, then I would say YANBU to suggest it. To assume she will read your mind and offer when you have previously refused an offer (quite reasonably of course) is a bit U.

blametheparents · 05/08/2010 12:04

She can't know that you would like her to if you don't ask. She is not a mind reader.

She may think that since she is coming to visit you that you will have some girly nights in, takeway, glass of wine or two.

Speak to her, she is your best friend!
Don't second guess what she may or may not be about to do.

badgermonkey · 05/08/2010 12:18

Yes, if she's coming to stay with you she probably expects to spend time with you, not for you to go out on your own! It isn't unreasonable to ask her, but don't be annoyed that she didn't offer.

Danthe4th · 05/08/2010 13:19

Have you asked her? or have you said you want to go out and she has said no?
I don't get it really is she meant to be a mindreader. If I went to stay with a friend I would presume she wanted to spend time with me, I've got to be honest I wouldn't think to offer as I would be visiting a friend, I would more expect her partner to go out and leave us to have a girly night in.

MorrisZapp · 05/08/2010 13:35

What they said.

Also, don't know if I'm being over-precious here but you gave a lot of info about this woman that might make her identifiable.

I don't know why you had to be quite so specific about her changed living arrangements.

nancy75 · 05/08/2010 13:37

if people were coming from miles away to visit us it would never, ever cross my mind to get them to babysit while i went out. in fact i think it is rather rude to go out and leave your guest at home

ConnorTraceptive · 05/08/2010 13:37

I thought that too MorrisZapp.

Anyhoo, just ask her she's not a mind reader

worldgonemad72 · 05/08/2010 13:52

if you really want to go out then ask her...but i would find it really rude if i went visit a close friend and she decided she wanted go out and for me to babysit her kids, esp if i was only going for a few days.

innocuousnamechange · 05/08/2010 13:53

If you want her to babysit then just ask.

giantpurplepeopleeater · 05/08/2010 13:59

Have to say I agree with Wordlgonemad - sorry!

I am a godmother to my best friends son, but we live over 120 miles away from each other. I try to visit regularly to keep a relationship with godson and friend. But I do definately see it as visiting both of them. I'm not sure how I would react if on one of these visits she wanted to go and for me to babysit - I don't see her often enough as it is!!!

However, if she asked me to come and babysit one night - and that was the arranged reason, I would (and have) done it in a heartbeat!

LouMacca · 05/08/2010 13:59

Just ask her, whats the big deal? If she's staying for 3 days that gives you plenty of time to spend quality time together too.

minxofmancunia · 05/08/2010 17:54

part of the reason she's coming is to sort her house out, if the sale wasn't going through she wouldn't be visiting. Of course I don't mind putting her up but it is disruptive to dcs and we may have sleep problems. I can't ask her to sleep on the sofa and I could not sleep in my bed myself but this would mean me not really sleeping and not getting kip for 3 nights over the weekend is pretty hardcore I think.

I never ask for favours, that's my problem. I think if someone wants to help out they'll offer. A couple of times after having dd (my first) I had pretty bad pnd and I asked my mum or sister for help and they pulled a face so I've not done it since really.

Also I would never stay with anyone for more than 2 days, no matter how dear they are to me I've reached saturation point by then and assume they have too! But maybe this is because I'm an anti-social old cow .

Anyway thanks for your replies, not bothered anough about it on reflection to ask. You're right should not have put so much info on, How to get deleted?

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