To turn job down because of my children

[iliketodance]

I feel bad but really wanted a job when dd started school in September,she will be doing mornings and son will already be at school.
Sent CV of on Saturday phone call Monday,I trurned the chance of an interview down because I panicked, realising it would be all my money in the holidays and would not be worth it.
Aibu to wait till my dd starts September and settle into playgroup and then find a job?.

Youre right lucyloulou, The children are often a smoke screen.. I have been in employment related roles for longer than is healthy and IME if someone really wants to work then they will find a way around the children. Someone who does will always find a barrier.

foureleven - childcare is WAY more than £800/month. i have 2 DCs. more like £2k. yes i could earn that, but at what cost to everyone? but if i could get WTC/CTC then i could get a more local, lower paid, lower stress job, for now. but that's not worth it once you take into account childcare.

still don't understand why they don't just make childcare tax deductible and simplify the whole thing.

foureleven - I nodded to myself the whole way through your post. I've seen so many excuses given for not wanting to work. I think I actually posted about this on a different thread. Someone I'm actually related to [shudder] is currently perpetually crying that her child is about to hit the magical age of 7 where the benefit is apparently switched from IS to JSA. Worse still, she's also researching the symptoms of back pain so she can be assessed for ESA as someone has advised her that it is one of the more difficult medical conditions to disprove. Needless to say, there's eff all wrong with her back.... She could get a job very easily. Where she lives, there is an abundance of opportunities that barely require a GCSE by way of qualification, but no, this would require getting off her ass....

OP sorry, this has sort of been semi-highjacked, I don't mean to suggest you are like my relative .

YABU

Completely understand if women want to stay at home whilst having small children.

But think YABU if you don't want to take a job because although you'll be better off for most of the year you'll spend all your money during the holidays.

Did you know that all parents can take "parental leave" a month unpaid leave per child so you wouldn't even have to work in the school holidays if you didn't want to.

Is so sad isnt it lucyloulou and that money could be given to someone in genuine need.

Agree with foureleven and lucylou

It's very sad and it infuriates me. There are many other issues I have with this relative, but she is absolutely shameless with it. People like her make it so hard for genuine claimants to be believed.

Aimade, bloody hell, yuo pay two grand a month in childcare??
Shit!

yes i did, for 12 months. and i know many others paying it now. Not any more as gave up work instead!

Blimey.What was that then? Two in a nursery or a nanny?
Down South I presume?

When I was doing a course in London, DS was at a nursery where they charged £1950 a month for 2 children under 3

Bloody hell.

OMG @ ilovemydognadMrObama. Surely a childminder would've been better?! They charge well under minimum wage per hour in most instances!

YABVU

yes, nursery
4 days/week

SWLondon

i know plenty of parents paying way more.

I think I applied for the job because I feel not needed anymore my youngest goes to playgroup and I will be home alone.
This makes me sad and I do not want to sit at home and watch my life pass me by.
I should be grateful as I do work one day a week,I applied for the job but then after felt guilty for the hours I was applying for.
I also never thought they would be that interested.
Its my own fault I have lost a lot of my self esteem at the moment and really I guess its all a excuse I should pick myself up and sell myself well not literally,thanks for all the advice.

Find this thread really interesting.
I have looked into going back to work, but the childcare for 3 kids is astoundingly high, and I don't live in London either.
Think iliketodance is scared because she has been out of job market for quite some time and this can affect your self esteem. You panic because you think no company could possibly want you to work for them.
Also, to suddenly realise that your DC's don't need you quite so much as they used to must be gutwrenching. Have not reached this point yet, but it comes to us all when they all start school.