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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think we may as well all stuff our pockets with stuff and not bother to pay for them?

43 replies

Alicetheinvisible · 05/08/2010 09:10

Yesterday i was in a well known garage getting some chocolate.

There was a bloke in front of me stuffing his pockets with sweets, cakes (from the pastry stand) and a dvd. Not very subtle.

When i went up to pay for my chocolate i said to the woman behind the till "You may want to check his pockets" Her reply? "Oh yes, he does it all the time, it will be on camera"

WTF? If he does it all the time, he has been caught on camera, then why is he still doing it and getting away with it? How is it fair that most people pay for things but some scum can just go and help himself when he feels like it?

OP posts:
sanielle · 05/08/2010 09:14

Just because the woman making 6 pound an hour is not dumb enough to endanger her life tackling a grown man with a sweet addiction, does not mean we should all go out on the rob

YABU

SixtyFootDoll · 05/08/2010 09:15

MAybe he is too violent for staff to confront alone?
If its on CCTV the Police can follow it up later.

Still seems a bit though

LindyHemming · 05/08/2010 09:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

skidoodly · 05/08/2010 09:23

YABU

Well said sanielle

Really, you have no idea what this man's story is. He might have mental health problems that mean he goes into the shop and stuffs his pockets - who knows?

You don't know the full story, it's not your business, this woman does know it and she isn't concerned by what's happening.

Calling other people "scum" is horrible.

Thinking that just because someone else does something, that you should be able to do it too is very juvenile.

strawberrycake · 05/08/2010 09:29

I worked in a shop where we sold children's toys, little 20-50p nick-nacks. There was an old lady with clear mental health problems who can a few times a week to steal something colourful from the toy pot. We left her to it, didn't have the heart to stop her (plus she had a few violent tendancies!). We were amazed at christmas though when he son popped in all the local shops offering money as compensation. From then on he just set up accounts with the local shops and they recorded what she took and paid for it once a month. IT made her happier than anything else.

sanielle · 05/08/2010 09:34

Funny story shortcake, nice that everyone was able to work it out amongst themselves too.

Original poster
Alicetheinvisible · 05/08/2010 09:37

So stealing is ok is it?

OP posts:
Mingg · 05/08/2010 09:40

My friend used to work at Selfridges and saw a young man steal a hat. She confronted him, he gave the hat back and calmly waited for security to arrive. He was arrested and after my friend finished giving her statement to the police they told him that she'd been incredibly lucky - this guy had mental issues and had stabbed a sales assistant in another shop in a similar situation a week ago.

edam · 05/08/2010 09:43

No-one said that. They have tried to show you that things may be more complicated than you realised.

I've always found MN very good at making me think round a subject. People point out things that give you a different perspective. It's enlightening. Suggest you try thinking about what's been said.

Original poster
Alicetheinvisible · 05/08/2010 09:52

I appreciate that on MN you will get the less 'obvious' reasons before someone else comes on and says "actually, that would piss me off too"

Perhaps i should have gone for the WWYD topic rather than AIBU.

Perhaps i have rather a skewed view on things?

I shall word it differently:

WWYD or think if you saw a bloke stuffing his pockets with stuff and not paying for it?

OP posts:
SixtyFootDoll · 05/08/2010 09:55

If you thought it was so wrong Alice why didnt you say something to him?

You saw him do it?

No one is saying stealing is OK, just that there may be more to it than meets the eye.

LutyensCBA · 05/08/2010 09:55

I used to work in a shop as a teen and I was told over and over to never ever confront anyone who was shoplifting. I was supposed to focus the CCTV camera on the individual so it would capture him/her stuffing her pockets and leave it at that. It is very very dangerous and potentially life-threatening to try and stop the shoplifting, as (like others have said) you don't know what violent tendencies the person has!

A friend of mine had a narrow escape in the same shop I worked in. A man came up to the till with about £200 worth of goods and tried to pay with a credit card, which came up as stolen when she put it through the till. Now, she should have just returned the card and said that it wasn't working then called the police with a description once he left the shop. But she tried to be a bit of a heroine and held on to the card and basically told him off for stealing and said she was calling the police NOW. To her horror, he pulled out a knife! Just then a group of loud boys came in (I say boys, but they were 30-ish and probably in for beer) and the noise and crowd confused the guy who ran. I shudder to think what could have happened otherwise!

Original poster
Alicetheinvisible · 05/08/2010 09:58

I am 9months pregnant, i did what i thought was the sensible/right thing to do by alerting the staff. I was just shocked that they didn't seem to care.

OP posts:
sethstarkaddersmum · 05/08/2010 10:04

The not caring might be because it has happened before and they already have a strategy in place for dealing with it. Or it might be because of the way many employers treat staff these days, as completely expendable, paying minimum wage, etc, which doesn't engender much loyalty.
Like when you eat in a crappy chain restaurant and the staff deliberately leave something off your bill because they hate their employer and it's a way to get back at them.

LutyensCBA · 05/08/2010 10:06

Alice, I'm sure they cared. Like I said, staff are trained to do nothing other than make sure the theft is recorded on camera.

Really, what else do you want them to do? Risk their lives for 4 pasties? It isn't worth the risk, believe me. Even if the perpetrator is apprehended, he will be out on bail in 24 hours, and now he has a serious grudge and knows where you work.

wastingaway · 05/08/2010 10:13

You did the right thing my alerting her to it in case she didn't know.

It does sound like he's well known so they probably either have a strategy for it or they simply write it off.

Garages don't usually have a high number of staff I think, so it is maybe not safe for her to tackle a thief.

It would cost more than they lose to hire security I imagine.

It doesn't make it right to steal, but letting someone steal is not as important as being safe for the individual staff member, or losing money on tighter security for the company.

I think.

It isn't fair, but yabu, but you're allowed.

Original poster
Alicetheinvisible · 05/08/2010 10:16

As i said, i was shocked. I would have thought that a big garage chain that sold alcohol/dvds/had a cash point etc would have some policy. If it was common then a security guard?

As i said in my op, if people get away with this then the rest of us queuing up to pay for things must just be mugs surely? But apparently not because everyone's first thought was that he was mentally disabled. How likely is that? Honestly?

I can understand people saying well perhaps it is policy to protect their staff.

So WWYD? If you saw someone stealing stuff, would you turn a blind eye? Confront them or tell the staff? And would you not be a little put out that the staff didn't care?

OP posts:
Original poster
Alicetheinvisible · 05/08/2010 10:17

Sorry wasting, x posts, she wasn't the only person working there, there were a few, i should have been clearer.

OP posts:
BitterAndTwistedChoreDodger · 05/08/2010 10:18

Hmm, it's a difficult one.

I work in a supermarket and we are told to check at the tills under buggies for unpaid for items and to ask for a receipt if people say they have goods from other shops. So I'm a little bit schocked the cashier was so blase.

Also, if an individual was known to shoplift, they would be banned from the store.

But the reason we are able to operate like this is that we have such a good security team.

Maybe if I was working in a small petrol station I wouldn't feel secure in confronting
people.

And although I agree that 'scum' is not a nice word, some people are scum unfortunately.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 05/08/2010 10:18

Alice I don't think YABU.

Yes fine maybe the woman isn't going to confront him, but a more normal response I would have thought would be 'yes thank you, he does it from time to time and we have it on CCTV and will call the police later' or whatever.
Seems odd to me not to care at all, but then it's not like it's her business, she only works there and probably doesn't get paid enough to get worked up about it.

But in principle YANBU

mayorquimby · 05/08/2010 10:19

BROKEN BRITAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!

OrmRenewed · 05/08/2010 10:23

Now you see I'd assume that this showed some knowledge of her customers and was a good thing. Just because 'he does it all the time' doesn't mean that everyone does or that they'd not be dealt with appropriately.

Original poster
Alicetheinvisible · 05/08/2010 10:23

Exactly! The Daily Mail would have a field day, perhaps i should sell my story....

OP posts:
OrmRenewed · 05/08/2010 10:24

Well you see 'Not very subtle' would instantly make me think he had MH issues.

Wilts · 05/08/2010 10:24

I worked in Mothercare and people would walk out with Prams and carseats. I wasn't about to chase someone across the car park and try and get them back .

We would call security and the police, but what else could we do?

Obviously with repeat offenders we called security as soon as they came into the shop. But as a member of staff I cared far more about my own safety than the profits of Mothercare.

That is not to say I condone shop lifting in anyway, however, I feel it is up to the company to step up its security rather than rely on sales assistants to risk being assaulted.

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