To think I'm going to end up on the 'other side' of AIBU?

[strawberrycake]

Big big group of mums in the park observed this.

My 8 week old son has silent relfux/ possible intolerance to milk (posted a lot on this for help) and feeds are a scream-fest. Worse he eats more outside in the fresh air so it can be a public affair. On the average day he's eating around a third of what he should and his weight hasn't gone up for 4 weeks, he's been in hospital for dehydration due to total refusal to eat. I'm taking him to anyone who'll listen.

So anyway. Fed him in park. Cue screams on sight of bottle and some gentle coaxing to take a tiny bit (he hadn't eaten for 6 hours..).

Judgey looks at me 'force-feeding' a child, an no I don't just ram it in! There's a lot of cuddles etc. to calm him and position changes. Just any feed, even hungry trying to eat ones are screaming madness. They look at me in the street now.

So have I missed the thread on me?!

It must be very hard for you

On the bright side the only "force fed" thread I read recently was aboout an older child .

Strawberry cake that's really sad. Must be so frustrating (for both of you). So what are the doctor's/ hv's opinions on it all?

and FWIW I haven't seen a thread about a hateful mum force feeding her baby yet!

that's for OP's baby.. Just eat something fgs!

Ugh, strawberrycake...I feel your pain. My DD had horrendous reflux...I deperately wanted to BF, but she would just suck me dry for HOURS, screaming and throwing every last bit up. It was horrible, and switching to FF meant I could see exactly how much she was eating, it stayed in her better, and she started gaining weight little by little.

But, yes...she also hated to eat, so the combination of FF AND her shreiking at the sight of food brought the judgey pants out in everyone, including my in laws, who are usually lovely.

Take heart...my lovely DD went on medication at 7 weeks, and was a different child...and once we started her on solids (around 4-5 months), the condition cleared up completely. AND...4 months old was the last time she's been to a doctor...not ONCE since then, and she'll be three in September. She's healthier than the rest of us!

Hopefully, your DS won't have this forever...poor lad. Good luck!

He has medication but he can't take it whilst he has diarrhea. Don't now the cause and it's in the second week. With medication reflux is manageable but without it's hellish. I've had to explain to a few strangers he IS hungry, and even if he isn't he needs that 40ml he'll eat to avoid hospital. I don't want to distress him but there's a point where he must have some.

oh poor you strawberry. You shouldn't have to justify yourself to anyone, let alone strangers. I hope that the medication starts to work properly and he grows out of it. I have no experience of reflux but think I've read that it can suddenly improve. Please try not to get too stressed, I believe that our little ones pick up on when we are stressed which may not help x

My DS had terrible reflux and I relate to everything you have said about the screaming feeds.
One thing that helped me a bit was to do 'dream feeds' so once he was solidly asleep I would shove a bottle in! He would always take some and rarely brought it back.

Strawberry, does he use a dummy? Is it possible you could get a Medela finger feeder tip and squeeze 5-10 ml shots of milk gently into the corner of his mouth while he sucks the dummy?

www.expressyourselfmums.co.uk/details1.asp/ProductID/290/medela-finger-feeder.htm

Also, would you be willing to consider re-lactating?

I won't give you more advice on this unless you say yes. If so, I would have lots of advice and support and experience to share.

Oh poor you, and ds

Ds2 was exactly like this. At the time I was taking Ds1 to a cranial osteopath for treatment for his asthma. When she saw how ds2 was behaving she offered to treat him. He improved after the first session, then I took him for regular weekly treatments and he was fully better within weeks.

Might be worth a try

FFS, I hate judgy people

What the bleep is so hard about just asking "can I help in some way?" when you see something like this?

But noooooo... a quick-change into judgy-pants is soooo much easier....

Sending you (((HUGS))) because it sounds like you need them and because I have no useful advice to give.