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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

PND or just part of being a new parent

43 replies

missldi · 04/08/2010 18:08

not even sure if this is the right place to post, but looking for advice. Crying even as I type. Had DD 9 weeks ago by EM c section..just when I was recovering from that and getting over the chaos, she's developed colic. My DH works 5/7 nights, so I'm here alone a lot. I currently have a viral infection and a case of oral thrush,and haven't been able to eat in 3 days. I can't stop crying-and feel like a useless mother because I can't comfort my own child when she's upset. Any suggestions-I've tried infacol, colief, gripe water, DR Browns bottles...I'm desperate for something to help.

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mollycuddles · 05/08/2010 06:37

Hi. I agree with the not thinking too far ahead. Just focus on surviving from hour to hour. Have you tried white noise? You can download some or there's a great app if you have the right sort of phone. It has a very calming effect on my 10w dd2. There's a book by Harvey Karp about settling crying babies. The book goes on a bit tbh but has some good ideas. The basic plan he suggests is on google. 5 S or something. Good luck.

porcamiseria · 05/08/2010 09:24

i agree i think you are just done in. the crying baby is the worst, we are conditioned to respond and it gets you down big time

second the soft sling (try moby sling, see amazon)

and just get out, fresh air, sun etc will do you both good, also second the vitamin/berocca

its very very hard

after months of fatigue I thought I had PND but once baby slept better, I was better

its NOT FUN, and it will pass x

even if you can get someone to take baby for a walk and have a bath/pamper will help

Igglybuff · 05/08/2010 09:34

Hi missldi how was your night?

Can you try the sling when she's in a better mood - so once woken, fed and burped, pop her in the sling for a bit to get her used to it. Then go for a walk.

Also it might be reflux - so try switching formula to easy digest and feed little and often instead of big feeds which are spread out. Also speak to your GP.

Have you got a dummy? Some babies take a bit of persuading (mine did - but as he had reflux I kept trying) - don't force it, just try when they're not crying. I was anti - dummy but it helped and DS (now 10 months) doesn't use it now.

The combination of dummy and sling might help.

Plus white noise - try and put your DD to bed early, say around half 6 before the crying starts. Don't bother with a long bedtime routine, just keep everything calm the last hour before bedtime (low lights, calming music, no stimulation, keep in the sling or hold) then change, feed and rock to sleep with white noise in a dark room. Perhaps have an ipod with headphones on to help you stay sane.

Also try and get some high energy snacks and meals in - get an online supermarket delivery. I used to eat a lot of nuts, porridge (2 mins in microwave), ready meals (microwave rice with microwave fresh soups), jacket potatoes in the microwave with microwave beans. There's a theme here!! I'd have a cooked meal in the evenings. Also ovaltine is great as well - lots of vitamins and you can make it in the microwave!

bumpsoon · 05/08/2010 10:39

It is hard when you are in the middle of the weeks of colic inducced hell ,to believe that it gets better ,but it really does ,if it didnt the human race would of dwindled years ago . I also second the eating chocolate ,it kept me going at 1am ,2am, 3am etc etc ,that and bbc news 24 and their lovely dementia scheduling ! You are not a bad mummy ,the fact that you even care about consoling your baby makes you a fantastic if completely shattered mummy

missldi · 05/08/2010 13:27

Trying lactose free formula (am combination feeding) for the next few days when giving top up; also looking into baby massage. Keep your fingers crossed...I've nearly forgotten what I look like without these blotchy eyes.

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Igglybuff · 05/08/2010 14:14

Hi missldi I could be wrong but if it's a dairy allergy/intolerance then a lactose free formula wont help if it is based on cows milk as lactose intolerance isn't the same as dairy intolerance. Lactose intolerance is quite rare, cows milk (dairy) intolerance is a bit more common.

missldi · 06/08/2010 10:36

Just to let you know that all your kind words and support is helping...DD had a good night -so feeling a bit brighter.

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Allegrogirl · 06/08/2010 10:45

I was in a similar position to you with my DD. DH doing full time degree and working at weekends. Constant wind, vomiting and puking plus low weight gain made me feel like a useless mum. HV and GP suggested PND but I felt it was more exhaustion and anxiety. They finally agreed she had reflux at 4 months.

We tried sling, lots of cuddling, baby massage and even cranial osteopathy, expensive but really seemed to help.

The only real cure is time. By 6 months when DD was on solids she was a different baby. Sleeping 12 hours a night and so sunny and happy all the time. I'm sure all the comfort I tried to give her when she was in pain has made her the confident toddler she is now. You are doing a brilliant job and it WILL get better.

DDDixon · 06/08/2010 10:48

White noise - no need to spend £££, just detune a radio. Second the dummy, also have you tried Colief? Give your HV a ring and see if you can get it on prescription cos it's about £12 to buy, but it worked like a charm for us.
Can you get out for a bit in the fresh air with baby today? Even if she's crying, it doesn't seem so bad out of the house somehow! Fingers crossed last night is the first of many good nights for you.

Altinkum · 06/08/2010 10:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ChunkyChick · 06/08/2010 11:01

Look at getting the Dr Karp book and dvd on how to deal with babies with colic. Very useful indeed, and makes you feel like you're not alone!

missldi · 07/08/2010 20:07

Will trial all-and let you know what works.
She screamed for two and a half hours last night, just getting geared up for this evening...

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Igglybuff · 08/08/2010 07:02

How's it going?

missldi · 08/08/2010 18:22

Well, to add to the mix, the poor little mite woke up today with a yukky head cold, so while able to nurse, she's refusing her bottle as it's too difficult to breathe.
She's full of muccus, so am bracing myself for a tough night..
Also seems to be dribbling a lot-so my mother is muttering darkly about early teething-hope she's wrong!!
Apart from that, never realised just how much you could love one tiny little baby...it's amazing, isn't it..

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Igglybuff · 08/08/2010 19:30

Yes it is amazing!!

You can squirt a tiny bit of breastmilk up her nose to clear it. Or buy a bulb syringe to suck some out...! I also had DS sleep on me so upright when he had a bad cold.

My DS used to dribble loads on and off for months. First teeth arrived at 6 months! So not sure it's a def sign :)

dribbleface · 08/08/2010 21:02

missldi - my Ds had colic and screamed alot, second advice about switching formula - went to cow and gate comfort and Dr browns bottles. What helped was laying ds across my lap (obviously with head to side!) on a cushion and giggling my legs and patting back, made him more mad for abuot 5 minutes then he would settle right down (only for half hour or so but enough to allow me to steady my nerves)

Hope things get better soon

LittleMissHissyFit · 08/08/2010 22:45

missldi, thinking of you, hope you and baby are having a better night.

missldi · 10/08/2010 08:37

Health nurse calling today, so going to get her to look and see about the teeth...Fingers crossed, the new lactose free formula seems to be working; have only had one horrendous evening since we switched. Again thanks so much to all of you who took the time to provide advice,support etc-I really did think I was cracking up.I don't think I was coping too well all alone.It's good to know there is somewhere to turn to when needed.x

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