to be annoyed to find my neighbour was blatently eaves dropping

[scubagoose]

just sorting a fence between the back doors of our house and thatof our slightly strange nieghbors. and legally moving a right of way.. things often a bit tense.. anyway the other night when my neighbour walked through my backgarden (as he does every night rather than open his front door) my friend who was in my house said quite loudly.. there is a strange man in your garden.. we all laughed.. I have no idea what we said next but in a conversation with the female neighbour today about the new fence she commented that he "had been very cross" about something that was said.. he heard us laugh then heard me say something that made him feel we were trying to get one over on him in some way... we were in my house. the door was shut.. How can he be cross about a private conversation in my house between me and my friends???? AGGGHH

Because he heard what your friend said and was offended.

Could you be cross about loud music coming from his house even if it was his choice and his door was shut?

He wasn't just mad about being called a "strange man" then? And it wasn't private, she said it intending him to hear.

It doesn't matter what he thought or whether he was cross or not. If he heard you, that's his problem. If he has an issue with what he heard, he should raise it with you.

It sounds like you are changing things (quite legally) and forcing him to change his habits accordingly and he's getting grumpy. Some people hate change but he'll just have to get used to it. Don't be intimidated.

This is like the age old dilemma of finding something disturbing in someone else's diary. Does what you found out justify the way you found out?

IMO, the neighbour can be upset. Not because you or your friend did anything wrong, but more simply because it's his feelings that have been hurt, no matter how they got hurt etc. But should he make a fuss out of this and raise the issue? No, quite clearly no. People who eavesdrop (or read others diaries for that matter) only really have themselves to blame if they find out something that hurts them.

no he wasnt cross about being called a strange man.. he thought I said something which implied we'd got one over on him about something. sitcom stuff. half overheard conversations leading to confusion and mayhem... funny thing is it was his wife who mentioned it.. he may not be pleased with her when he gets home!

she didnt say it intending him to hear I dont think...

it was the rest of the conversation (which I honestly know was not about him.. I think I just said.. that they had agreed to a fence and I had pounced on the thought and had the fencing people round measuring up.. this conversation was at normal conversation level and was private.. not rude about him or anything.. I mean what I said about sit coms where people overhear half a conversation and get the wrong end of the stick and cause trouble over it.. thats what it was. but I am annoyed that it was a private conversation in my own house.

How loud does a conversation inside a closed house have to be before it can be heard outside, even if someone is loitering?

It really wasnt loud.. I promise! maybe a window was open somewhere. and as I say nothing about him.. just about fencing..