Might be a bit long, sorry!
So, my ex and I split when our 2 ds's were 1 and 3, they are now 7 and 9. In all that time we have maintained a really good relationship with eachother, mostly for the sake of the dc's but also because neither of us are bad people, and we want to share parenting with the person who we chose to have children with. Of course there have been a few ups and downs over the years, but it mostly works well for all concerned.
My dh and I are taking the ds's on holiday for a week next week, and it has been booked for months. My ex has said all along that he wanted to take the ds's on holiday too, with other members of his family, and I have been more than happy with that. I asked over and over in the months leading up to the school holiday what his plans were, and he kept telling me that he was looking at flights, then that he might not be able to afford it, then that he was looking again, and so it went on. It got to the week of the end of term, and I asked him to finally make up his mind what he was doing so that we could get stuff planned for the weeks that we were not already away. He said he didn't think a holiday was going to happen as he couldn't afford it, so we put dates in the diary for when he would have the ds's. He has already had them for nearly a week, and we had agreed that he would have them for a week after we got back from holiday as well. All good.
Late last night I got a text from ex saying that he had booked a holiday for two weeks with the ds's when we get back. That was a bit annoying in itself because I thought he was only going to be having them for a week, so we did have a few things planned (playdates etc, nothing major) so although I don't really want my boys to be away from me in a different country for two whole weeks, I can see that he is their Dad, they will have a great time so I should just let it go. The main problem is that both of their birthdays (10th and 8th) are going to take place bang in the middle of their holiday with their Dad. I'm gutted that I'm now not going to see them on the anniversary of the days I gave birth to them, and I'm shocked that my ex would do this. I spoke to him about it after he sent the text, and when he realised how upset I was he was very apologetic and said he just didn't realise it would bother me!!
I know I can't do much about it without being the bitch that stops her dc's going on holiday with their Dad and his family, so I just have to deal with it, but I'm really upset about it so I guess I just needed a rant and to see how other Mums would feel.
Thanks if you got this far.