to think "family friendly" actually means "family hell"?

[minxofmancunia]

Dd is nearly 4 (in sept) she has a little mate at nursery who's 4 already so starting this sept, this friend also has a big sister (6)who's off school obviously. Anyway friends mumtext to invite us to local free family friendly event today. Thought it would be nice for dd to spend time with friend prior to separation in sept. Also had ds with me, 10m in buggy. Went on bus, all fine found bus with low floor etc, easier than parking car and unloading buggy in central manc.

Got to event, total mayhem. Was free to half of Manc was there Mums looking harrassed and competitive. First bit was making hats which seemed to be more about the Mums competing with each other (100s of them) jealously guarding the double sided tape and the scissors. Kids becoming fractious, sky high noise levels. Horrible.

Then a picnic, we escaped outside for this bit as I felt clautrophobic surrounded by all the other Mothers even in a huge art gallery. Nice enough but the park nest to the gallery can be a bit unsavoury and I've found needles and a methodone bottle in the grass before so couldn't really let ds crawl around.

Then back for the film, S**t appalling organisation, loads of kick of mercahnts who hadn't got tickets prior trying to get in, forcing their way to the front etc. Finally in dd on friends Mums knee, ds on my knee, some bloody scally mother started on at me about moving along a seat, I explained that I was at the end so i wouldn't have to keep climbing over people with ds should he start bawling, want to crawl, need a nappy change, milk, snack etc.etc. Ended up losing it a bit with her after 3 detalied explanations as to why i was sitting where I was sitting (and if you're on here you were being a rough cow, and your mate was). Ds started getting distressed so left film bit so he could have a crawl round without bothering people, left dd with her friend and friends Mum. 3 people asked if I was ok on way out because of incident with scally woman.

Other Mother followed me out soon after with dd and her 2 (felt bad leaving dd with her as she already had 2) saying they'd reached saturation point. Got on bus home, tired and harrassed kids frazzled and bored.

Supposed to go to zumba and pliates, didn't go as head spannered from day. Glad have half bottle of rose in fridge.

Is this what it's sbout in the school holidays because God save me I'll go from wine to gin!!!?! I think we're going to have to go into hiding every August from now on.

hated it.

AIBU???

(sorry for post of novel style proportions)

No YANBU. Was it the Whitworth? They're not very good at organising children's things sadly (although they do lay on a lot of childrens things, both in the holidays and not)

We went to the Hell Factory, sorry, the Chill FactorE (I hate that fucking "e" at the end!) today. I can't even begin to describe why it was hell. It just was.

You have my sympathies: I went to a Charlie & Lola event at Manchester Art Gallery two years ago and it was very similar- down to the competitive mums jealously guarding all the craft supplies for their children. Nice idea- but never again.

yes beatroute was the Whitworth and every time I've taken dd it's been stressful and manic!! I keep trying it though as the description of activities looks lovely but the organisation is rubbish! And the women who do the music/drama stuff for the toddlers just can't engage them at all and they let too many people in.

Have only be to Chillfactor bollocks "E" once myself and will prob never darken it's overpriced tacky doors again.

Haha! Fayrazzled, I also went to that Charlie & Lola exhibition, only had PFB then so I may be guilty of being one of "those" Mums (although actually, I suspect not!)

Very much doubt we'll be returning to the Chill Factor EEEEEEEEEEEEE either. That "e" just sends me over the edge...

My Mum often takes DD to the art and crafty stuff at the Whitworth and always comes back telling me stories of people who haven't booked coming in anyway and making a mockery of the system (oooh, get me!). I think the staff are probably just too nice and arts and crafty to be arsey and tell people to fook off.

I hate anything family friendly as it seems to be a euphemism for rough/Ill behaved people please come along and show us the worst of society. And why does family friendly have to mean we serve shite food. Sorry I realise I sound like a snob but....

oh lord, we're booked in for the Art Adventures session next week. Should we give it a miss? or do you think that as a hardened North Mancunian I'll be able to fend off the softie Chorltonites ??

Softy Chorltonite?!! You're talking to an original Chorltonite here and there's nowt soft about me! (However, I will concur that there is an influx of Southern Softies giving us a bad name!)

I think the key to most of these things is to leave the baby with someone else so you only have the older children to deal with if you can. Also, I always feel, knowledge is a good thing - next time you wont expect it to be well organised!

There's no conceivable way I can leave ds with anyone every time dd wants to do an activity chippingin, and in all reality who can???

That's the last time I go to the Whitworth, I've given it plenty of chances, the organic wholesome yummies are tolerable despite being a bit over zealous it's the scally types that spoil it. I hate to sound like a snob but that's just how it is.

the thing is we could have done it at home, plenty of craft stuff here (crafty shit being the only area of mummyness I'm particularly good at and enjoy, can count on one hand the number of times I've baked in 4 years) big garden and 5 minutes from 2 nice parks to have a picnic in and have a copy of the film downloaded onto dhs portable hard drive. Also would have been just 4 children rather than swarms of them. And we might actually have enjoyed ourselves, all of us.

And yes I know I was there with ds, he gets dragged along to everything of dds as is the case for many younger sibs but there were plenty there with just 2 yr olds and under, it was supposed to be for 3+ ffs. Too young for little toddlers.

Also note to Mum of 2 UNDER 3s who were having colsossal tantrums in cafe and film, now is not the time to do ignoring in a public area whilst you eat your organic slice, TAKE THEM OUT and don't inflict their screaming on everyone else!!!!

As I work in a museum ed department I feel that it my duty to stand up for these events. Firstly they offer a great opportunity for people who can't afford to go to paid things (like theme parks) to do something creative and educational, as they are usually drop in it can be very difficult to plan for how many people will turn up and at what time. I would be thrilled to see more of the 'scally types' people that minx talks about as they are precisely the people and children that would benefit most from these sorts of activities, but in reality the only represent a small % of visitors.

If the crowds get to you I would advise arriving right at the start or 30mins from the end.

As funding cuts hit it will become more and more difficult for museums to put on these kind of things, or they will become paid events, which will make museums back into the empty ivory towers they used to be.

I often go to the ones in the Whitworth and have always found them fine (although DS1 is not particularly interested in crafty stuff and prefers to take their staplers apart). I think maybe it's because you went in the hols. I've been to loads in term time and they have been quiet. The park next to the Whitworth used to have an amazing wooden playpark too but the last time we went most of the swings etc were broken or unusable which is a great shame I think.

I suggest you go to the manchester museum for a quick spin, bring a packed lunch to eat on the top floor (usually virtually empty) and have a quick skip round the park. Job done, all free and the kids are happy!

I do agree with you about the yummy mummies. They can be quite annoying and aggressive (in a polite way).

And I agree with Grottie re the scallies. Their kids are the very ones who ought to be going to these events. The middles classes always take their kids to museums/art galleries! Dh and I always laugh about the loud posh lady at the Turner exhibition in the Manchester art gallery a few years ago hectoring her poor son (about 3 years old) to analyse a Turner picture - 'But I just like the doggy mummy'

Minx There's no conceivable way I can leave ds with anyone every time dd wants to do an activity chippingin, and in all reality who can???

Unknot your knickers. I didn't say to leave DS with someone every time DD does an activity did I? I suggested that events such as this are far less stressfull if you only have one child and that if you can leave DS with someone it might not be so bad. It's a very occasional thing, not every time DD wants to do something.

Really sorry you can't take a suggestion without getting your knickers in a knot.

grottie I'm sorry if my post sounds judgmental it's not about parents on a low income from deprived areas as these parents are as polite and helpful possibly more so than the pushy braying middle class mums can be at these events. Indeed there were 3 local women who asked me if I was ok after being attacked verbally by that woman. I'm pleased that these sorts of things are open to everyone. I find it a shame that it's so completely disorganised and unfortunately it seems that there is a rough contingent that do intimidate the staff.

I've phoned up to put dds name down for stuff in advance in the past and have turned up to find the people that run it just letting everyne in despite alot of them not booking a place then it become chaotic and uncontained and no one enjoys it. I know i sound like \ right miserable old cow it's just theme parks are horrendous and places like the blue planet aquarium over priced and over rated with minging food.

chippingin sorry for being touchy, your post just touched a nerve as neither of our familes will take ds even for an hour. they will babysit in the eve onve every few weeks when dcs are in bed and we are grateful for that obviously and I know we shouldn't "expect" anything but it does hurt a bit sometimes that they never offer, I don't like to ask friedns as they all have their own young dcs and busy lives. Dd hasn't had any 1:1 time to do an activity with me in the 10 months since ds was born apart from one brief shopping trip to John Lewis, hardly fun! That's why I'm taking her camping just the 2 of us next weekend, ha bet it pisses it down!

Manchester Museum is great, will try that next week I think!