to feel pissed off with Lady Gaga?

[Ladyanonymous]

AIBU to feel really quite pissed off that Lady Gaga has done this interview where she admits that she uses Cocaine "occasionally" (a few times a year).

Cocaine is illegal both here and in the states and is a Class A drug, and is not what I would consider one of the "safer" illegal substances (for those of you who are not familiar with my posts I am quite knowledgeable about drugs as I am a schools drugs adviser/counsellor).

It wouldn't bother me so much if it was an artist who didn't have a lot of younger fans (ie - my 11 yr old daughter! ) - but she does.

AIBU to feel that she can do what the hell she wants in the privacy of her own home but she has a responsibility as a public figure not to broadcast this to a lot of young impressionable people therefore normalising it and making it seem an ok thing to do?

I am in two minds - what do you lot think?

I don't tell - I advise and educate

They make their own choices.

What exactly were you "inviting", by the way?

"Ooh that scruffy Lady Gaga, how dare she mention taking recreational chemicals a few times a year?"

If agreement and sympathy is what you are "inviting", AIBU is perhaps not the best place for you. Just something to keep in mind for the future.

What do you advise, then?

I certainly hope you are a bit easier to talk to in real life.

FFS?! I mentioned my profession which in itself suggests I might know a little bit about illegal drug taking.

I didn't realise I needed to provide a CV to ask a question on a public forum.

You are asking me questions about my own personal drug taking which is nothing to do with my OP.

I don't want to discuss it with you, you are goading and I do not wish to discuss something private and personal and extremely painful with someone so they can win points with me on a forum.

Is that ok?

it is hard. is possible, if you discount what they show on the screens in HMV.
i dont even know where they sell latex nun costumes these days, Ann Summers?

im trying to keep my DD safe until shes allowed a facebook account at 14. and that means anything innapropriate gets talked to death by her old fogey mother trying to be cool and hip and having feminist-driven discussions with her.
and her school has a fab drugs counsellor, they did a talk for us parents last year which was v. interesting.

The people I talk to in real life don't try and bully me .

I am quite familiar with the etiquette of AIBU, but thanks for telling me just in case.

Gah. I've been trying to get an answer to a few simple questions for a full half hour now, with no success. I give up.

I am not aiming to spill your painful memories of addiction, just trying to understand if you realize that it is entirely possible to try and (shock! horror!) even enjoy most drugs on a recreational basis. This is why I have asked if you have tried other drugs than heroin.

I might check back later to see if you have stopped sulking. If you are ready to talk, maybe we might have a decent conversation.

I wasn't questioning whether it is ok to take drugs recreationally?!

I would have thought if you had half a brain and realised I am employed to go into schools and talk to young people, parents and bloody teachers - I might actually know about fucking recreational drug taking!! And no I do not talk about my own experiences them either.

Only 3% of people who take drugs recreationally develop a full blown addiction.

Tell me what does that have to do with my OP?

So we need to let kids know its ok to take drugs recreationally? Is that your point?

My point in my OP was should people our kids might admire and look up to make these admissions in public and what does it achieve?

And I apologise for swearing - I just think people have their own agenda here sometimes and don't even read the OP.

By this point, I doubt the sanity of the school management who has employed you to advise and counsel children, on any subject. You are temperamental, unable to engage in debate in a clear and civil manner, and you are so touchy about the subject of drug use that you cannot answer a few simple questions.

Yes, incidentally, I do believe that if you know that so few recreational drug users become addicts and the rest manage it fine on occasional use (just like drinking on nights out without being an alcoholic) you should say so to the children. It is not as if they will not see this for themselves or be told by others.

If you are not honest with them, your story will not consistent with what they see/experience, and they will not believe you.

Your best strategy is to tell them as it is. Then they might listen to your advice about how to stay out of trouble if and when they come across drugs.

(Just my two Euro centimes, as someone who has tried most drugs. This is the line I will take with DC when they are old enough. )

"I cannot control what my DD listens to - she is 11 - not 2. "

Yet you're happy to want to dictate what a grown woman with whom you have no relation should be able to say in public?

Yabu;

She's in the music business....I'm surprised that's all she takes..

Plus I love her so leave her alone....he he

mayorquimby Two slighty different things methinks and I never said I wanted to dictate - I just questioned the positive value of this being in the public domain.

CoteDazur I love it here when people can't think of anything better to say they turn to personal insults and call the poster "unbalanced, unstable, insane". I find it really quite pathetic. I cannot see how you have tried to engage me in a debate in a clear and civil manner. You have made snidy sneery remarks and have totally missed the point of my OP

I answered your questions and asked you how they related to my OP (which they didn't). I am not entering into a "debate" with someone who seemingly thinks they know everything there is to know about a subject and is just trying to point score, kind of reminds me of the "cool kids" at school who will do and say anything in order to try and look good, clever - whatever . Its clear you have an agenda - what it is I neither know nor care. You have been rude, derogatory - and basically tried to tell me how me (and 100s of others) - should do our job.

We have spent many years just battling to be allowed into schools to even talk about these issues - if we went into schools telling kids its ok to use drugs recreationally the school would not invite us back and the parents would totally freak. Some of them do by our presence anyway. We tread a very fine line every day - but at least in one to one work we can tell kids the truth and they do stay safe - safer than they would if we weren't there.

I don't know what your background is but if you know as much as you profess to then you will know that personal disclosure to young people by workers like myself is not allowed and is actually a sackable offence. There are lots of reasons why which I cannot be arsed to explain to you because I think your attitude stinks quite frankly and you clearly just want a row.

Please continue with your drive to build a MN fanbase or whatever it is you are trying to achieve

LA can you put aside your personal animus towards cote and give us some kind of idea as to what school drugs counsellors say to our children?

Lady Gaga is as mad as a box of badgers - my dsd's love her music (9 and 12) but accept quite happily that it wouldn't be good to actually be like her, or behave like her in any way - witness the wandering about half naked most of the time with a teacup on her head

We do two or three workshops a year on "collapse days" meaning the kids don't have normal lessons.

Just before Christmas we go in with the police and a Theatrical production and do a big drive with yr 9 around staying safe with alcohol. They see a play - have a discussion - do a wrokshop with the police around alcohol and anti social behaviour and the law around drugs/alcohol, then with us talking about long/short term effects, physical mental health etc etc.

We show then what a unit of alcohol is - get them to pour it out - get them to pour out what they normally drink - compare the two - go through government guidelines - show them a DVD of a liver transplant - talk about the pathway to addiction - why people drink - thats its okay to drink to have fun but not to cover up things that make you feel bad. Where to access help (we have "drop-in" clinic in all schools in the area once a week where the YPs can ask an drugs advisor any question they want - have support in cuitting down - have support if they have an adult in their life who is misusung drugs or alcohol). We refer into other agencies including SS and CAMHS. We help YPs understand addiction, build self esteem, help then use their anger postively. A lot of the time we just listen. We suggest ways to avoid peer pressure, and we help them to see how they can avoid repeating patterns of behaviour and making the wrong choices for them.

With other drugs (alcohol is a drug that stands alone because it is such a massive, far reaching problem)we will tailor a workshop to what the YPs are learning in PSHE, what we know the YPs in that school are using, what we know is available in the area, what the current trends are(we have intel from the police. We are doing a lot of work Ketamine and GHB, GHL, (various NRG's legal highs etc atm).

We go through each drug,what they look like, how they are used, how it affects the brain, how it makes you feel, the law, the long and short term affects, how addictive it is, whether is is physically or mentally addictive, what the dangers might be, what might happen if you mixed it with other substances and if you are intent on using it - how to do it safely.

Amongst other things - hope that answers your question.

so in terms of doing these things safely, what do you advise?

I don't think many kids read Vanity Fair - YABU. LGG is an extremely talented and successful artist being interviewed by a respected magazine (VF is a top of the magazine food chain as far as I can see). Why would she lie to VF? or distort the truth?

OP would you feel better if it was known she took drugs but LIED about it in a respected magazine? I doubt it.

Drugs are everywhere and chances are our kids are going to encounter them at some point. What is important is that parents/school counsellors/teachers etc have an open and frank dialogue with kids about them, and arm them best we can to deal with whatever comes their way.

Personally I'm with the MN'ers arguing for decriminlising drugs with the aim of providing CLEAN drugs, and with the aim of removing the criminal element from the entire process.

Drugs aren't going away - it's our laws & attitudes that have to change if we are going to deal with kids/drugs/addiction & all the other issues associated with drug culture in a meaningful way.

We only do harm minimisation after stressing that we would prefer it that young people don't use drugs/get pissed - obviously naive to think they won't don't -

Tell them to always ask for help in an emergency - try and pace their alcohol intake - use spacers - one of them stay sober - have at least 48 hours between alcohol binges, never leave anyone on their own, drink in sensible places (ie not on the cliff tops), to dress up warm in the winter so avoid hypothermia (they are admitted regually with this girls esp). Not to mix drugs together or with alcohol.

In a one to one and the YP has no intention of giving up or cutting down their use then depends which drug really anything from keeping shottie bottles clean to not sharing any type of drugs paraphanalia - we moniter heavy cannabis users for pyschosis on a regular basis - regular sips of water when using MDMA, wash out thier mouths and nostrils if they are using GHB - loads of things they need to know if they are insistent on using.

"AIBU to feel that she can do what the hell she wants in the privacy of her own home but she has a responsibility as a public figure not to broadcast this to a lot of young impressionable people therefore normalising it and making it seem an ok thing to do?"

That's not questioning the positive value of broadcasting it, that's you saying that by virtue of her being a musician she somehow has a duty to not say it.
And I agree with you, they are two completely different things. For one thing you have a relationship and some control over your daughter and what she listens to. On the other hand you have no relationship with Lady GaGa and no right to question what topics she should and should not discuss.

What do you want me to do put ear muffs on my DD when she isn't with me or is at friends houses, or we are in a shop?

Issue people she is in the care of a list of sounds and music which she is and isn't allowed to listen to? School, gym club and the like?

How would I enforce this?

most pop star do illicit drug!gaga has no responsibility to the moral welfate of your children that is your job.and if you are daft enough to believe some burd off the telly has more sway than you,god help you

look people dont copy everything schlebs do.and schlebs have no public duty to anyone

so if your dd is so impressionable will she dye her hair peroxide wear a basque and fuck-me shoes because gaga did

sounds good. might i add my mother's sterling 'don't be afraid to fake it, there's no prize for being the drunkest'.

I'm not saying that SM .

I am just saying this normalisation of using drugs by public figures - not just celebs - fuels the want for young people to use them.

In schools I am shocked by what a lot of the girls wear. They have fake nails, dyed hair, hair extensions, fake tan and stilettos, lorry load of make up.

Really shocks me how old they look and how fake, and how unlike children 14 year old girls look - they are peer pressured into it and the ones that are "square" and don't subscribe get left out and or bullied.

IMO this is all fuelled by the celeb culture and goes hand in hand with the drinking and drug taking we see in under 18s.

Aitch - we do also tell them that (not to worry about faking it)