To expect my midwife to take my concerns about the birth seriously?

8 replies

Chianna · 02/08/2010 19:49

Saw my midwife for the first time last week and she asked me if I had any problems with the birth of DS1? I said yes and that it had failed to progress, I ended up on a drip which made me sick and an epidural which made me shake uncontrollably followed by a forceps delivery 48 hours later and I was a bit worried (scared senseless) of having to go through it again. Her response? The second one isn't as bad - that was it.

Subsequently I have found out that I am actually expecting twins and not just the one so my fears of giving birth are at least quadrupled and I am not sure whether I trust my midwife (who I haven't seen since finding out about DC's 2+3)

AIBU?

OP posts:

Mowgli1970 · 02/08/2010 19:57

Congratulations on the twins! YADNBU! The midwife was probably trying to reassure you, not be so dismissive of your concerns. However, following a previous difficult birth and now you're expecting twins, could you ask to be put under consultant led care? Would you want a c-section? Planned induction? I'd do a bit of research on your options and write a list of questions for your mw to answer. Good luck!

MadameBelle · 02/08/2010 19:59

I found the mw didn't even mention birth thoughts/plans until I was about 6 months + pregnant, even though it sounds like my first delivery was very similar to yours.

Being a multiple pregnancy, will you be under consultant care? It could well end up being a completely different process as its twins.

branches · 02/08/2010 21:01

Hi, how lovely twins. Congratulations. I had similar experience first time round and ended up with emergency C. With 2nd pregnancy I knew what I didn't want to happen and asked for elective C. YANBU to expect any concerns to be addressed to your satisfaction. Once you are clear in your mind how you want to proceed speak to the right people to make sure this happens. Good Luck

PfftTheMagicDragon · 02/08/2010 21:04

I found midwives the same second time around. I was induced first time around and at the point at which I spoke to the midwife I was past due. She just said "second babies are different" and "that won't happen" when I worried about going through it again.

Entirely fucking useless. She might as well have said "go away, I can't be arsed to talk to you"

peeringintothevoid · 02/08/2010 22:40

Being entirely cynical, it's unlikely that you'll see the same midwife ever again throughout your pregnancy anyway, unless you're being caseloaded.

The MW was probably trying to reassure you (second labours are usually - not always, obviously - much easier than first), but in a really dismissive and insensitive way.

With a twin pregnancy (congratulations! ), you will probably be under consultant-led care. They'll do an elective section at the drop of a hat, and you'll be looking at a different set of 'challenges' (eg. if you wanted a vaginal delivery) than you would with your second singleton birth. There are organisations out there to support you through a multiple pregnancy, and I'm sure you'll get lots of support and advice on here.

Best of luck, and congratulations again.

saintlydamemrsturnip · 02/08/2010 22:47

I shook every time I had a spinal - horrible. Don't worry too much yet though. I was in a major panic about my third birth - midwives didn't say that much, but consultant sorted it all when I met him. It ended up being the best birth of the three (labour followed by c-section, but it was fine).

porcamiseria · 03/08/2010 09:20

chianna, whilst it was awful for you, your borth was a fairly normal textbook first birth I am afraid.

so she's not being dismissive, she just knows that (a) it was nornal and that (b) in her experience most second ones are easier

I am in the same boat, but not having twins (wow!!!)

agree with others, twins always get special care and you may even get an ELCS

dont worry x

Original poster

Chianna · 03/08/2010 11:24

Thanks for all your comments. I believe I am going to see a consultant but only after 20 weeks as I have 'the healthiest' type of twins - whatever that means (I think separate placentas). At my local hospital they kind of tell you that you are having twins and then let you loose on the world with no more information. I am the kind of person who cannot get enough information but have not really wanted to contact my MW after the first appointment as she didn't strike me as the type to react well to a (long) list of questions over the phone.

Poor woman was probably just having a bad day and here I am maligning her but impressions do count I guess.

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