To get mad at a demanding friend?

[Maria101]

I've got a 7 week old baby, and since she was born we've had a constant stream of visitors from family, friends & colleagues. Like most new parents, we've been trying to stagger them so we can have family time, as well as rest, as well as keeping everybody happy. So far so normal. However, one of my oldest friends (who doesn't have children and is a bit princess-y) hasn't seen her yet because we can't agree on a date. Today she emailed me to say she's 'shocked' I haven't returned her calls (I miss most of my calls these days, not just hers!) and that I need to make more of an effort. Perhaps it's sleep deprivation, but I'm fu**ing furious with her, and think she should be more understanding. Am I being unreasonable?

YANBU but she has no idea.

Text her, say you have missed lots of calls and then give her 3 dates that are suitable for a visit.

She just doesn't get it and you can't really expect her to. Try to be amused rather than annoyed, it takes less energy!

YAmostdefNBU.

Drop her an email reminding you've tried to make dates and suggest one more. Don't send the email for a week.

Sorry, I should have said - we've already agreed on a date. It was after we got the date in the diary that I got her email about how I need to make more of an effort. Grrrr!

Quite frankly, I wouldn't class anyone who told me 'I needed to make more of an effort' as a friend...

Ditch her now, it will save you the bother later.

chippin always love your replies.

I'd also be tempted to save the email and if she ever has children send it back to her

Ignore it, if she ever asks about it then say sorry, you must have missed it

Send her an email back saying if your boobs weren't leaking, your bits weren't aching, you weren't sleep deprived or taking care of a newborn 24 hours a day 7 days a week you could make more of an effort. Childless women don't have a clue. They don't mean to sound cruel, they just don't get it.

oh yes do what mumbar says - yanbu - she is

LOL at pulling your socks up re contact. I agree with mumbar - print out the email, frame it in a pretty frame, wrap it up and give it to her 2 weeks after she gives birth...

Yes Spacehopper but at least she was inviting you, most childless friends vanish instantly when a baby arrives because they assume you will never again want to do anything unconnected with your baby.

I like maktaitai's idea though

I had a childfree friend berate me for not paying attention to HER (said in capitals type of voice) whilst on a long phone call. I was trying to change a nappy whilst she was talking the situation had become drastic I had left it as long as I could but we were both soaked in wee (me and dd not me and friend). I didnt dare ask her if I could call her back but thought I was doing a good job of multi tasking but obviously not.

KERALA1 - Oh I had that once, I was at a party with the DC (stupid idea in the first place) and was watching DD toddle towards a table with a glass of beer on it, and her hands reaching up. I of course swooped in and picked her up and was told I 'never engaged fully in a conversation these days'

Ha and she got pregnant a month later and the only uninterrupted conversation we've had since was at 1am when she called me to ask how the hell to cope with sleep deprivation (ironically I was still up with mine so didn't mind sympathising at that hour!)

Ahhh, I had a childless friend once.....