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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To just not ever leave the house ever again? To hate travelling with children and to relish child free weddings?

14 replies

MassiveBumperlicious · 02/08/2010 18:58

We (DH, 3 yo DD and I) have been away over night to see a good friend get married.

We stayed in a B&B, which was nice enough (despite none of the doors having locks on them ) but B&Bs always give me that feeling of intruding in someone else's house.

Anyway, 3 hour journey to the wedding, which was lovely, what little I saw of it, as DD kept talking the whole way through, and trying to run off. I unfortunately was in sole charge the whole afternoon and evening as DH had been asked to do the wedding photos for my friend, which is great for him, crap for me. There was a 3 hour wait between the ceremony and the evening meal, which was ok as it was in a big park (DH took the bride and groom to the beach for photos), we variously wondered around, played with other children there and went to the playground, while I tried to make sure DD didn't drown herself in the massive lake (is it just me who gets panicky at this big do's where you can't always keep up with the little ones but people insist on getting married by water ) all this compounded by the fact that I am 7 months pregnant (though everyone at the wedding saw fit to tell me that it is bound to come early as I am so huge ). I was on my feet most of the day running around after DD, my feet are now like balloons, and my bump aches.

Anyway these things are always stressful, trying to get DD to eat something, not cause trouble and not get hysterical till about half ten when DH's job was over. So we went home and then DD threw up in the car. It was dark, the fucking internal light in our car didn't work and we were staying half hour away from the venue in the middle of nowhere, so we cleaned her up by the light of the iPod, put some clean clothes on her (oh yeah, we're potty training too so luckily I had clean clothes. I had already had to sacrifice a pair of Hello Kitty knickers that were pooed on into submission).

We try and navigate our way back to the B&B using DH's sat nav app, and 2 minutes from the B&B DD throws up again. Lovely. Manage to get into the B&B I clean up DD, DH cleans up her car seat best he can. No bath, only a shower, which DD hates and was already really upset so just had to wipe her down. Car now smells of sick and we had a 3 hour drive home today, after being woken up every 2 hours by DD (not being sick again fortunately) and then by DH snoring. Have a back full of sick covered clothes to deal with.

I haven't slept a full nights sleep since I got pg. Am knackered, have had about 4 hours sleep. Am I being unreasonable to just never leave the house again, curl up in bed with MN and trashy novels and sleep, because god knows I won't be getting any once DC2 comes along?

Urggh, sorry to have bored you with my vent. I hate travelling with kids, and especially hate staying in the same room as them. Long live the child-free wedding, that's all I can say! I just want to hibernate for the next 7 weeks

OP posts:
FloraFinching · 02/08/2010 19:04

hibernate away

I think smallish children at weddings are very overrated. I always leave mine at home, child-free wedding or not .

minipie · 02/08/2010 19:05

YANBU, sounds like a lot to deal with, especially at 7 months pg. LOL at "pooed on into submission"!

If your DCs are invited to another wedding, could you pretend it was a child free wedding and find someone to look after them?

champagnesupernova · 02/08/2010 19:07

YANBU

MamaVoo · 02/08/2010 19:08

Poor you. I know there are a lot of people on here who insist children should be at weddings, but frankly who wants to go through what you've just been through?

AddictedtoCheese · 02/08/2010 19:11

I agree totally. Like FloraFinching we never ever take our two to weddings regardless of whether they're invited - bliss

ShellingPeas · 02/08/2010 19:11

YASNBU - when my DS was small (about 14 months) we were invited to friends' wedding in Yorkshire. We live in Kent.

We drove up in the morning, went to ceremony and then reception - DS was fine and went to sleep in pushchair behind curtain, until it was time for speeches. Everytime someone new was announced by MD there was a trumpet fanfare which woke DS up and he started screaming.

Made it back to B&B, which had a travel cot which DS refused to sleep in - so we had him sleeping with us in a [small] double bed which had one of those mattresses that mean you roll into each other all night long. In the end DH gave up and slept on the floor.

Then we drove home, all the way back to Kent. But it was the time of the protests about the diesel costs (back in 2000) and we got stuck in a blockade on the A1. We crawled along at 15 mph for ages - DS screamed the whole time. It was hell.

In the 11 years since we have never taken the DCs to a wedding further than 10 miles away.

TrillianAstra · 02/08/2010 19:12

D'you reckon you could just not take them next time, even if they are allowed/invited?

moondog · 02/08/2010 19:12

God it all sounds hellish.
Why in the name of Christ did you go??

LucyGoose · 02/08/2010 19:17

What a nightmare! The smell of sick in a car makes me want to be sick too. Poor you...

MassiveBumperlicious · 02/08/2010 19:21

It was a very good friend, and didn't really have anyone else to look after DD. DH's mum is too old, and my mum is too far away, though I could have asked her if I had thought about it in advance. I will remember this for next time.

I still have one more trip away to make before DC2 comes along. That is going to be pretty hellish, but it is a family reunion, one we have every year and we have to take DD or life wouldn't be worth living! The only thing that will make that easier is that it is family so at least they will be helpful and I will get to sit down (and be told how big I look and give all kinds of advice that I will have to just nod and smile at). In fact the last time we went to a family reunion I remember being up with DD screaming all night mainly because various helpful members of my family hadn't been feeding her all kinds of crap she wasn't used to, and threatening to drive home in the middle of the night. In fact we almost drove home last night, but with thought the drive would make poor DD feel worse.

Can't I just be sent away for 'confinement' like in the olden days, and have nurses and maids wait on me till I give birth then take the DC away for the night ?

OP posts:
Ilythia · 02/08/2010 19:59

Oh bumper, hibernate away, and feel free to tell family to fuck off with a snarl, and then explain it's those darn pregnancy hormones again, making you act crazy.
People are a lot nicer to you after that.

compo · 02/08/2010 20:06

Have the family reunion near you so you can stay at home

compo · 02/08/2010 20:06

If that's impossible tell themyoure on bedrest until baby comes on doctors orders

Helokitty · 02/08/2010 20:07

God that sounds awful.

Fwiw, I always leave my children behind at weddings, regardless of whether they have been invited or not. I only ever take them if I can't arrange child care.

IME, weddings and younger children do not mix. Sure they love the pretty dress for the whole of a nano second, but then they're bored, followed by naughty, followed by me being completely stressed out and then not enjoying the day.

Way better to leave them behind.

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