to think this bloke should be ashamed of himself?

[asouthwoldmummy]

I recently found out this bloke I went to school with (he's 24) now has 4 kids by 3 different women! The most recent 2 were actually born in the same week!
He doesn't work so I would assume isn't contributing anything towards any of his children. The thing that really bothers me though is that he doesn't seem remotely ashamed, if anything he seems happy about the number of girls throwing themselves at him and getting pregnant! AIBU to think he should be ashamed rather than proud?

Because Morloth, in a country which offers myriad free contraceptive devices to anything with a pulse, we all have to take on responsibility.

Is that too much to ask??

Stupid, vile people.

Isn't 'Baby Father' the phrase for a man putting himself up for stud without taking any consequences he doesn't feel like?
Originating from the Jamaican community, but adopted here as a lifestyle choice by many others regardless of culture.

Quite, Moondog. The automatic assumption from this post was that the man in question is feckless and irrepsonsible. Yes. And what of the three women who must have had an inkling as to what he was like, but allowed themselves to be impregnated by him anyway?

And let's not forget that it is entirely possible and feasible that a woman can trick a man into fathering a child, but it is pretty much impossible to do it the other way around. Yes, I know that men promise to stand by you if an accident happens, and then don't, but that's a whole other issue. As far as conception is concerned, I rarely hear of a situation where a woman was under the illusion that he was using contraception, whereas we hear of it the other way around all the time.

Don't get me wrong - I'm not defending these men - just saying how it is.

My children don't have the same dad, so what does that make me?

Depends entirely, on your circumstances, and what you knew about the men in question when you a) got pregnant and b) decided to have the baby.

Thesun - were you in a relationship with these men or was it just casual irresponsible sex?

Belle - what happened to your brother is bad but as others have said it was also his responsibility. Unlike the bloke I am talking about it sounds like your brother has learnt his lesson.

Accidents can happen and sometimes people do stupid things, I understand that. But my question was whether he should be ashamed rather than proud of his number of illegitimate children. And I never said these women weren't equally responsible.

I feel your pain OP. I know a girl who gave birth to her fifth child with the third dad on her 22nd birthday. Children are blessings, but am I unreasonable to think she might have kept her knickers on a bit more....?

'My children don't have the same dad, so what does that make me?'

A trollop!

When I worked we had a girl who had 2 kids to 2 different men then she left when she bacame pregnant with her third to yet another man and she was only 21/22
And we had a man in his late 40's who had about 9 children to various women
I am afraid this is the way of the world

I guess he takes the phrase 'Go Forth and Multiply' to literal

YABU - you don't know all the details and tbh it's not really any of your business either.

if you really are bothered by it why don't you kindly express your views to him. discussing it on a forum will not impact the situation in a positive way at all.

I wonder about the future outcome of the "baby father" culture that was in South London when I lived there. I'm not referring to Jamaican/West Indian culture but the phrase that was mentioned earlier that is used for men who like to put it about and are quite proud of having all these kids by different mothers.

I knew one guy who I worked with and he had 5 kids by different mums, to be fair, he supported them all, and they all got together at holiday times. But they were staggered relationships so the children weren't born withing weeks of each other.

My friend had a child by a notorious baby father, sadly she only found out after getting pregnant. He wined and dined her and made her feel like the only woman in the world, unknowingly he had another baby within days of her son being born and has 9 that she now knows about. He has very little to do with most of them.

What happens when these kids go out in later years in the local community and possibly meet each other unawares.?

I even got chatted up one night out by a guy who's line to me was - if you want a baby, I'd love to put one in you...

Some should be neutered.