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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

bad manners not to respond to texts?

47 replies

wineandroses · 02/08/2010 15:57

Is it just me or is it bad manners to ignore texts from family/friends? Is there such a thing as text-etiquette? I get annoyed if my texts (which are not frequent) go unanswered. On my SIL's birthday, sent her both a text and a voice mail singing happy birthday to you. No response to either. Rude or what? Or normal for texts?

OP posts:
GetOrfMoiLand · 02/08/2010 15:58

I don't answer texts unless I have got something to say.

If I sent a happy birthday text i would not expect an answer - I would assume that the recipient had recieved loads of happy birthday texts that day.

So - not rude.

HappyMummyOfOne · 02/08/2010 15:59

Depends, if the text isn't asking a question or doesnt need a reply then I dont.

CMOTdibbler · 02/08/2010 15:59

Texts are easily not noticed if your mobile lives at the bottom of your handbag - same with voicemails as if you don't hear the notification, you aren't reminded to look at it

sapphireblue · 02/08/2010 16:00

I always think it's slightly rude, especially if your text asks a direct question which requires an answer. I give friends the benefit of the doubt most of the time as they all lead busy lives but I think it just depends on the person.........I have friends who always reply to their texts within a few minutes of receiving mine, friends who will reply but often not til hours later or even the next day, and other friends who I've stopped bothering to text because they never reply.

Habbibu · 02/08/2010 16:00

I hardly ever know where my phone is. I don't send many texts, so don't expect to receive many. Do you expect people to ring and thank you for a birthday card? I don't.

usualsuspect · 02/08/2010 16:01

I would send a text backing thanking the person ..same as I would thank someone for a birthday card or a spoken happy birthday ..so yes rude

mumto2andnomore · 02/08/2010 16:01

I think its rude not to reply, if I sent a happy birthday text I would at least expect a thanks

JemAndEllie · 02/08/2010 16:05

I think it depends. I have a rule whereby if the received message asks me an actual question or I'm intereseted in what it says I will reply. But if a text just says something simple like "yes that's fine" then I would warrant that a reply.

Not like my mum who will reply to even a 1 word text, bless her!!

Me - "yes mum"
her - "ok"

Habbibu · 02/08/2010 16:05

It wouldn't occur to me to have someone thank me for a card I'd posted, say, unless I was maybe talking to them later - I wouldn't expect a special effort to be made to contact me just to thank me for a birthday card. I really don't like texts much, though. Don't like happy birthday texts - send a damn card.

GetOrfMoiLand · 02/08/2010 16:06

Yes I laugh when people text back OK. What a waste of a text.

I also never listen to my voicemail, ever. Just delete the messages.

CheeseandGherkins · 02/08/2010 16:10

Dp's brother is like this, never answers texts, never answers phone when he calls him etc, even tried on facebook and he doesn't reply, sigh. Guess he'll (hopefully) pay a bit more attention at some point to family? Especially when he has a niece being born in December! First one too.

StarlightMcKenzie · 02/08/2010 16:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Kaloki · 02/08/2010 16:16

I hate phones, I especially hate text messages. So wont reply unless I have to, eg. if there is a question.

rubyrubyruby · 02/08/2010 16:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hocuspontas · 02/08/2010 16:21

As Habbibu said - I don't thank or expect to be thanked for birthday cards so I wouldn't expect a thanks for a text! Hate texts anyway.

LynetteScavo · 02/08/2010 16:24

It's not rude not to reply....you wouldn't send a card saying thank you for the birthday card would you?!

usualsuspect · 02/08/2010 16:25

No, I would text a thank you for a birthday card

niftyfifty · 02/08/2010 16:27

I'm with you wineandroses - it is rude! DH's (adult) DD never rarely responds to texts so I've stopped sending them. She has the phone on 24 hours & it's never far from her, but I've seen her look at the phone & then just put it down - seems to be implying that she's far too busy to actually respond to anyone. Drives me mad!

Original poster
wineandroses · 02/08/2010 16:29

Thanks. Looks like the majority think - yes I am being unreasonable! Fair enough, I need to be less sensitive (high maintenance - StarlightMcKenzie?...ouch!).

OP posts:
BonniePrinceBilly · 02/08/2010 16:30

So if you text me thanks for the birthday text, am I supposed to text back "no problem". And then you'll have to text me back for that, we'll spend our entire lives in a never ending text loop! Where will it end?

LucyLouLou · 02/08/2010 16:30

YANBU. I find it rude when people don't reply to messages. I don't expect a million replies throughout a day, but I think one, to acknowledge someone has contacted you, is completely reasonable. It's very bad manners to just ignore messages.

minipie · 02/08/2010 16:37

Oh dear. I didn't reply to any of my happy birthday texts. I was busy doing birthday things and frankly didn't want to spend half of my birthday day texting thank you back to people!

I certainly wouldn't expect a response to a happy birthday text.

2rebecca · 02/08/2010 16:48

My phone when at work is usually on silent and glanced at occasionally. At home it's turned off as poor reception in house.
I answer questions in texts, but would see a happy birthday text as like giving me a birthday card and not necessarily reply.
Agree I'd have no desire to spend my birthday texting people but thankfully my family and friends send cards or just say happy birthday.
Some people are more inclined to spend their time texting than me.

Chil1234 · 02/08/2010 17:08

YABU... Do you expect a thank you letter every time you send a birthday card?

usualsuspect · 02/08/2010 17:23

only takes a few seconds to text ..hardly going to take you all day