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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Did you buy your baby loads of presents for their 1st birthday?

71 replies

McSnail · 01/08/2010 16:40

I'm considering having a wee get-together for the baby's first birthday, but I don't REALLY see the point in buying her presents. She's only little, and she has quite a lot of toys already.

Does anyone else feel the same about presents for babies, or is this a bit mean?

Implications have been made by other mothers (not on here, I'm in touch with some women who had babies the same time as me) that it's a shame (for my baby)

I think it's common-sense...well, compared to some of them who've gone mental gone all out with the purchases...

OP posts:

BouncingTurtle · 01/08/2010 17:17

We bought a few things for DS's birthday. We knew he'd get presents from various relatives as well and he did okay. Plus his birthday is 2 days after Christmas.
As you say they don't really get presents and birthdays at that age. Even for his 2nd birthday he didn't get a lot.

Squitten · 01/08/2010 17:44

We didn't buy DS1 anything for his first birthday. He was the first grandchild on both sides and there are also great-grandparents on my side along with a whole batch of my aunts, uncles and cousins. The amount of STUFF he got for his birthday was unreal! He was so overwhelmed as it was and you can see it in his face in the photos. He had no concept of what the day was for, let alone who bought what!

DS2 is due early Dec so you can imagine the carnage...!

tassisssss · 01/08/2010 17:48

we got dd a wheelybug for her first b'day which I love and thankfully dd still plays with it almost 3 years on

for her 2nd we only got her an umbrella as I was trying to convince dh that we needed a playhouse...but then got one off freecycle (though still spent nearly £50 on the roof felt, base stones etc). I like to buy one main present but sometimes there isn't an obvious...

teaandcakeplease · 01/08/2010 17:52

I bought 3 items all cheap for my DD to open and a little cake. She wasn't spoiled by any related family but she did get a few things. But she truly didn't really know what the fuss was about. I think I did it more for me than her at age 1 and of course lots of photos

However she's just had her 3rd birthday and I finally threw her a proper party with pass the parcel etc and she loved it.

YANBU.

matumble · 01/08/2010 17:57

we've never gone overboard, they have each had a present that they could grow into, I cant unfortunately remember what dd1 and 2 got but dd3 turned one about a month ago and i ordered her swings on Friday, whilst that sounds extravagant its more for dd1 and dd2, dd3's birthday was a useful excuse to buy it.

To be honest i object to lots of presents at any age, mine get 1 main present and a couple of little stocking filler type things, but then we have a big family so they get a lot anyway.

I have a strong memory of being little at christmas and coming downstairs to a mountain of expensive toys that i didnt appreciate, a few years later my parents had divorced and my mum didnt have much money but the few carefully chosen craft bits i got meant far more than any huge pile ever had.

laweaselmys · 01/08/2010 17:59

YANBU

however, we bought DD some duplo and books as I think they're good future use items. It was also nice to have photos of her found something on her birthday, as DP wasn't home and only one of my friends was around that day to make a fuss.

ChippingIn · 01/08/2010 18:45

A few bits they'd grow into needing during the year which we would have bought anyway (toys, ride on etc) and silver bracelet to keep - I got one for my first birthday and wore it for special occasions throughout my childhood - I still have it and thought it was a nice to do the same.

However, you don't need to buy her anything, it doesn't mean you don't care about her/her birthday, so just ignore the others!!

SweetKate · 01/08/2010 18:50

YANBU. DD will be 15 months tomorrow. We still have not bought her a first birthday present!

mololoko · 01/08/2010 18:55

we wrapped up some of her favourite toys. she was delighted to find them inside the wrapping paper. DH's idea - genius.

trixymalixy · 01/08/2010 18:57

We have bought DD a wooden pram for her first birthday which will hopefully last her a long time. We bought DS a classic metal ride on car.

They are the kind of things that I intend to put up in the attic when they grow out of them and keep for when/if they have their own children.

We really didn't buy them much else toy wise. More practical things like cutlery and plates.

SE13Mummy · 01/08/2010 19:16

For her 1st birthday DD2 was given a '1' t-shirt (99p from eBay) and a teddy bear. DD1 wrapped up a couple of pre-loved toys for DD2 and both were delighted.

We still wrap up already owned toys etc. for DD1 at Christmas and birthdays (she's nearly 6) as it's the unwrapping that she loves.

JamieJay · 01/08/2010 19:36

YANBU - I've already got family making comments about Christmas (sorry - know that's a swear word at this time of the year ) presents for our baby and she's not even been born yet so will at the most be 20 weeks old.

How many toys does a 20 week old baby need!!

On the other hand I think it would be nice to get a small something in memory of her 1st birthday, maybe something more of a heirloom type thing then a toy though....

PlanetEarth · 01/08/2010 19:47

mololoko, that's hilarious!

CheerfulYank · 01/08/2010 19:50

No, I didn't get him a present. I love planning and having parties, so that's what we do. The party is DS' present from us.

I guess we did get him a little Harold the Helicopter this year. But we had all his friends for a showing of Toy Story 3 at the movie theater where I work, so that was his "big present."

pippylongstockings · 01/08/2010 20:03

We didn't buy anything for either of ours - both have Jan birthdays.

So even now we tend to ask other family members for money and then in the summer buy them something bigger like a scooter/bike/splashslide from e.bay or a carboot sale and then use the rest of the money for other treats like a day out at the zoo or something.

They are 3 and 5 so way off (so far ) the peer pressure of 'I want so and so has' so I figure enjoy it while you can....

mybabylookslikepob · 01/08/2010 20:10

McSnail, I don't plan to get DD anything for her first birthday. She won't know any different. What I do plan to do is treat myself to a bottle of champagne, to mark my survival over the last 365 days

roslily · 01/08/2010 20:16

we are having a party, but that is because family live so far away. It is a nice excuse to get together.

At Christmas we wrapped up some stuff he already had so will probably do the same!

gtamom · 02/08/2010 01:32

I don't even remember my first son's birthday, but second son I think it was either a new highchair or car seat, something useful anyways.

SonicMiddleAge · 02/08/2010 02:58

Nothing for dd1. dd2 we got a couple of token presents, however this was basically becasue dd1 has her birthday soon, and we didn't want her getting the idea that she got birthday presents and dd2 doesn't. Fortunately dd1 is still to young to have much concept of relative value, and we bulked up the number of presents by wrapping up stuff we needed to buy dd2 anyway (e.g. bowl and kiddy spoon and fork set, a new bib etc)

tortoiseonthehalfshell · 02/08/2010 03:50

Ours got an IKEA wooden toy for less than ten quid, and a big party with tons of balloons and streamers (and champagne for adults). Everyone else got her toys, many of which she grew out of within three months. I think she just liked the noise and the company.

Not sure about two. It's less of a milestone, so don't want anyone to feel obliged to buy presents, and no icea how big is appropriate for a second birthday. Might just invite a couple of friends with similarly-aged children I suppose.

terryble · 02/08/2010 06:37

I think that one of the most important things to consider is whether you would really benefit if s/he had some new toys. For example, more time to mumsnet while s/he is occupied. I bought quite a bit for the twins' first birthday, but in my defence it was all second-hand and I'd hardly bought them anything since they were born. But by 1, I had to admit they would really like something to play with... Homemade rattles weren't cutting it any more.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 02/08/2010 06:46

We got him a few little bits for his first birthday, spent maybe £30-£40 in total I think.

He has just turned 2, and we got him the Duplo farm and a pile of books. He will use them for years, and siblings will benefit from them too.
Family bought things for the garden, a clock for his room, more bits of trainset and a heap of other stuff.

That will be it now until Christmas though, whereas one lovely friend of mine is constantly buying her DS new stuff. Every time we see them there are new toys, more books, more DVDs, more colouring books, crayons and who knows what. Obviously it is up to her, but I can't help thinking she is setting herself up for a fall because it is getting to the point where her son (he is 3 now) is expecting to get new things all the time.

mamatomany · 02/08/2010 07:00

You really deserve the present and champagne for surviving the first year if you ask me.
We always have a birthday tea and spend about £40 but ours don't have family who see them or spoil them so i feel obliged to

Original poster

McSnail · 02/08/2010 07:02

"McSnail, I don't plan to get DD anything for her first birthday. She won't know any different. What I do plan to do is treat myself to a bottle of champagne, to mark my survival over the last 365 days"

That is a fabulous idea, one that hadn't even crossed my mind!

I'm glad that so many people on here feel more or less the same about the present thing. As I mentioned, I can't WAIT until she's old enough to get excited about Christmas and birthdays, but until then I'll not be buying presents.

One woman I know said she's bought five rolls of wrapping paper....

Horses for courses, I s'pose.

OP posts:

Triggles · 02/08/2010 07:05

I think we spent about £20 on each of the boys this year - DS2 was 4 about 2 wks ago, and DS3 turned 1 a few days ago. The £20 covered a toy from us, and a small item "from" their brother (which at this point we helped pick out). They received gifts from other family members, and honestly they were fine with it. Christmas will be fairly low key as well, as both are still quite young. If you set the standard now to have normal, not "over the top" gifts for birthdays and Christmas, they will grow up thinking it's normal. If you go nuts on it now, they will learn to expect it.

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