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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to say no?

20 replies

FlookCrow · 01/08/2010 09:24

I received a phone call and text message from a massage therapist I had a few sessions from, asking if he could borrow one of my musical instruments for a few days.

I said no and rang the clinic where I used to see him, telling them that my number was not to be given out under any circumstances, and that all therapists should be reminded they should not be contacting their clients for things like this.

I don't have a close relationship with this therapist in any way, probably the same kind of professional relationship you would have with a doctor. And I certainly don't lend out instruments under any circumstances.

Was I being unreasonable to tell him to bugger off?

OP posts:
thisisyesterday · 01/08/2010 09:25

no, not at all. how very bizarre!

JebusBuiltMyHotQuads · 01/08/2010 10:00

YANBU

He was being a weirdo.

mamas12 · 01/08/2010 10:06

Too touchy feely?

TotorosOcarina · 01/08/2010 10:08

What did the clinic say?

MaudofallHopefulness · 01/08/2010 10:15

That's a bit weird, YANBU.

sapphireblue · 01/08/2010 13:53

very wierd and totally inappropriate IMO (him, not you!)

beanlet · 01/08/2010 13:55

Weird was exactly my thought -- how totally unprofessional. I would complain to his boss if he has one.

ChippingIn · 01/08/2010 19:45

TBH I don't see the problem, he needed to borrow something, he asked (I presume, as you didn't say otherwise) politely... all you had to do was say 'No sorry, I don't lend them out - hope you can find one elsewhere'....

What exactly is the big deal??

thisisyesterday · 01/08/2010 19:56

the big deal is that

  1. she doesn't actually "know" him
  2. the clinic shouldn't have given him her home phone number
  3. it's inappropriate for him to be calling her at home for personal reasons
compo · 01/08/2010 19:58

How did he know you had said instrument?

ChippingIn · 01/08/2010 20:03
  1. She knows him well enough to let him massage her?!
  1. It's a phone number, not her bank details.
  1. Why?

I don't understand why there's all this drama over a phone call to ask a question??

NanBullen · 01/08/2010 20:07

omg, I read that as muscle instrument!

thisisyesterday · 01/08/2010 22:22

he's a therapist!
if i went to a spa or somwehere and had a massage i wouldn't then expect a phonecall from the guy who had done it. would you?

ChippingIn · 01/08/2010 23:33

She didn't go to a 'spa or somewhere' she went to a massage therapist several times and talked to the guy enough for him to know she had these musical instruments! It was not a one off massage at a spa place where they started ringing around their clients to see if anyone had a musical instrument!

curlymama · 01/08/2010 23:45

Err..no, yanbu to tell him to bugger off! How unprofessional can you get?? One of my good friends is a beauty therapist, and when she does treatments for me she barely talks about the normal stuff we gossip about because she says she wants me to enjoy it in the way it's intended like her other clients do.

A masseur does have close personal contact with clients, so should be very aware of professionalism at all times.

thisisyesterday · 01/08/2010 23:45

yes but my point is that paying for a service from someone does not automatically mean that you "know" them well enough for them to request your phone number from their employer and call you to borrow something!!!

ChippingIn · 02/08/2010 00:12

Yes, but it's hard a crime of epic proportions is it...?

I really don't understand this uptight attitude to a phone call...

He asked to borrow a musical instrument not sniff her panties - honest to god, what a lot of fuss over a phone call.

gtamom · 02/08/2010 00:55

Yanbu. It is a violation of the clients(yours) privacy to call her at home without her permission.

SolidGoldBrass · 02/08/2010 01:03

Doesn't a therapist you see regularly have your number anyway in order to be able to let you know if s/he has explosive diarrhoea and therefore can't rub your back this week?

If not I can see why you are a bit put out, but at the same time wanting to borrow a musical intstrument that s/he knows you have isn't really that dreadful. If you want something a bit unusual ( a lion tamer, to borrow a 17th century nun's outfit, an expert in budgerigar breeding) and you know that a casual acquaintance has this stuff handy, you probably would just ask for their number if you knew someone else had it. It doesn't mean his next step is going to be to come round and kill you and make a pair of knickers out of your skin or anything.

franklampoon · 02/08/2010 01:27

I presume you did not use the term bugger off. If you did, you were BU and rude
if you said "I'd rather not ", fair enough.

Can you tell us what the instrument was?
Antique 18th century harp inlaid with gold leaf, I can see why you would hesitate.

The stylophone you were given in 1972, lighten up and spread the love

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