to be irritated by this?

[OMaLittle]

DH and I on a weekend break with DCs. Had a lovely day yesterday. Got back, he was knackered from pushing the buggy all day (it is really heavy, I did offer to help). I went and bathed the girls in slippery hostel bathroom whilst he lies on bed reading. Delivered DD2 to him in a towel, went back and DD1 needs a poo. She'd just finished when DH delivers DD2 saying she needs one too, buggers off, I'm left with them both and obviously DD1 slips over and whacks her head, starts SCREAMING which he 'can't hear' so I have to run and get him to supervise DD2 on loo.

He cannot apologise or even admit he shouldn't just have chucked her in, just gets shitty with me. Eventually he apologises, we go out, he walks with DD1 (bigger, faster) in front, they are already about 10m ahead by the time we get out of hostel. I walk with DD2 who wants to be carried, doesn't, we get further behind, eventually can't see him. Carry on to place we had (I thought) agreed to go, wait for about 20 mins, eventually go back to hotel with v. sad DD2 (where's daddy? why has he walked off?).

Call him and he's gone down to funicular railway (which he had mentioned briefly but I certainly don't think we'd agreed on) and is cross with ME. Walk back up, try and salvage evening, start having dinner, kids clearly knackered after hour's fucking around. Get some food, he's shirty, gets really cross when I say I don't think we have time for a bottle of wine, eats his food, then walks out, patting my back but not saying anything, and fucks off for about 20 minutes.

Girls having total meltdown, I wait for a bit then pay up, get them ready, start to leave. He's outside on the bloody phone. (My phone, he carries it around like my wallet as he doesn't have either.) No apology, just 'have you paid? good' then whilst we're walking home 'are you in a bad mood?' which he keeps repeating and I keep saying no as no energy to argue.

Tell me I'm queeny and pathetic but I've had enough of this sort of behaviour. Is it unreasonable to expect a DH with just a droplet of the milk of human kindness? Be honest, I can take it, I sound like a princess, don't I?

sorry to anyone who hasn't seen me here for ages (and actually remembers me!), we live offline (well, off-grid!) at the mo so am NEVER on here, ashamed to have come on just to rant but god he's so fucking difficult sometimes)

God I hope it improves today or I would be wanting to go home, whats his problem?

several theories, won't go into them here! so IANBU? good.

he's just started smoking again (my fault, probably, for making him stressed as we've had lots of arguments lately) and I think he's feeling really bad about it - he's generally WAY more of a shit when he's feeling guilty about something.

To be fair, he has taken girls out for breakfast so I can mumsnet sleep, but he was making a real song and dance about how they were all going out for a 'special' breakfast and Mummy wasn't coming.

sounds like a typical weekend break with the family to me. There's always one day when it turns rotten.

Thing is, we call it a 'break'. It isn't. Its a misnomer. On a 'break' you read and relax. A weekend away with the children you don't.

Crack on with today, leave that behind you. Have wine with your dinner tonight, probably more than you should, put the children to bed without having a bath.

Being slightly tipsy helps.

remember to thank him for your lovely lie in, and do the same for him tomorrow. You are both feeling put-upon I suspect. Step up the lovliness, even if its through gritted teeth.

We're going home today (shouldn't have said weekend , our whole life is a weekend!)

I will thank him for the lie-in. He says I'm too negative, I probably am. Should focus on the fact he's taken them out!

what's the conclusion? I can't write an interesting thread?!

and is it just a fantasy to think that most families avoid getting split up and having to walk miles carrying a 2 year old by, er, walking together?

Tbh, I think you would be less negative if he was more helpful. Going away with DC is hard work - you spend a lot of money to stay somewhere which is often not as nice as the house you left, and you don't have all the familiar things around you that make looking after your DC easier. It can be stressful and if one parent feels they have been left with all the work, then it's natural to argue. I think your DH needs to realise that the DC are as much his responsibility as yours. He does not get to sit and read while you get on with it. I would start the day being nice and friendly, but I wouldn't take any stroppy attitude from him today. Hope the rest of your break is better

thank you!

sounds like your average weekend away with small dcs to me

yanbu i would b v annoyed by this

so I should have posted this thread in 'am I being unrealistic?' - it just seems like there are two schools of relationship, one where you can expect to be treated with respect and one where you can't. It's the buggering off in the middle of dinner that really got me, without even a word. I feel like I've had so many times where I've thought 'I'm just too tired of this shit, I'd rather be on my own', but I never do anything about it.

Hey OMa, so lovely to see you again!

For what it's worth, I would have been furious too if dh buggered off without me - surely it wouldn't have killed him to wait a little so that you could at least walk kind of together. The paying thing too.

Sounds like he's feeling frustrated / guilty (most likely about smoking, as you say), and making you suffer for it.

Could you tell him you don't mind about smoking, but wish things could be more laid back again? Other option of course to smile and ignore it and hope he gets over his mood soon. Men can be such babies at times!

I would have been furious about the walk, and furious about him buggering off in the middle of dinner.

Regardless of what frustrations he has with you, to abdicate responsibility for his children like that is just bullshit IMO.

Why does he have your phone and your wallet? I don't understand that part.