... to be fussy about buying a highchair?

[MusicalMummyJules]

Long story but will try to cut it short.

Basically it's DS's who is 6 mths, christening on Sunday and DP's mother has offered us to buy a highchair, which is really kind of her as she knows we work hard to break even every month let alone find the money for the big money things that a baby/child sometimes need.

Anyway, get a phone call from DP while I'm at work saying that she has offered to buy a highchair and she's found one that's really cheap on Kiddicare and can I have a look at it and let him know as the offer ends tomorrow.

So I look at it and my heart sinks, it's totally not the kind of highchair I wanted - I have been researching for a good couple of months about highchairs and had found one that I really wanted and was willing to save for (as it's about £70.00) The highchair that she has offered to buy us is a plastic, folding highchair with a unmovable plastic tray etc whereas as the one I was hoping to get was a wooden one, that lasts until they are 10 and has a removable tray so that they can, when convenient eat at the table with us. Quite a few of my family and DP knew that I wanted to get this specific highchair and we're going to give us some money towards it for the Christening.

I feel like I am being spoilt and totally selfish cow and we have had conversations to this effect in the past as I put my foot down and saved to get a Bugaboo Bee when DP and all his family we're trying to persuade me to get a cheaper pushchair.

Anyway I come back from work and I've given in and said it's not the one I want but it's very kind of her and if she would like to get it us and you're happy with it then phone her back and tell her we'd really appreciate it.

Now I'm sat here gutted that I'm getting this highchair but feeling childish at the same time....

Its not what you want to hear but I think a highchair should be a resonably considered purchase - obviously you want to be a bit practical as some of them are a bugger to clean but it is nice to have something that sits well with your decor and that you generally like the look of as well as the functionality - bear in mind it might be sitting in your kitchen/dining room for many years depending how many children you have.

Having said that you dont have to spend a fortune, its a bit down to personal taste.

Some people dont "get" the decor thing - they are thinking, its a child, they are going to eat in it, it can be floroescent pink and green, but if your kitchen is an elegant duck egg and vanilla scheme with oak then not so much!

Sounds like its too late but no, YANBU or childish. If people genuinely want to help you buy something, why oh why can they not just give you some cash towards it, I wonder? Are you even allowed to say that without sounding ungrateful? Who knows - god knows you'd be a hell of a lot more grateful for the one you want though.

Ikea highchair.
It's literally about £12 and the best highchair out there apart from the expensive trip trap.
It's especially good for small babies, you can buy a tray with it and an inflatable cushion for snugness.
It came top on MN reviews.

it comes in blue and red

Keep the cheap plastic one at her house and buy the one you want with peoples donations.
Or come and get my happy snack giraffe one!

YABabitU I got DD's highchair out of ikea for £15 twas my best buy, believe me you will not use it for that long anyway (definately not till their 10!) I say embrace the cheap highchair and be grateful your DPs Mum is buying it for you

YANBU. Highchairs are part of your furniture and if you want a nice one, why shouldn't you have it ? I don't think you're being spoilt, you have given perfectly valid reasons why you don't want the one your MIL has suggested.

Turning it down, howver, is another kettle of fish.

Yes- you're being a bit unreasonable but that's easy to do. I found it difficult not to be controlling about stuff occasionally with my eldest and in fact a highchair is quite a major purchase which is annoying if you get wrong. You need a good easyclean one as the weaning process is unbelievably messy. Ask her to get you the antilop from ikea instead! It's £12 and the best one about.

Ikea Antilop is your friend.

My mother did something similar- we persuaded her to keep the ridiculous plastic affair she insisted on at her house, where DD noticeably slid down the back every time she sat in it, two foot back from the table and the rest of the family . After a few meals even she could see it was a silly purchase, and by then she was stuck with it...

Its true you dont HAVE to use it for that long. Its nice to be able to have a 3 point harness at first because they have a habit of leaning around and lurching forward, it stops that but once they are really steady and strong and sitting alone etc, and have stopped lurching forward to headbut things on a whim, you can put them in a booster seat which is very discrete and just sits on your kitchen/dining room chairs. My daughter is 9 months and if it wasn't for the fact she has a slight tendency to want to chew my brand new solid oak made to measure kitchen table (no sodding way, in your dreams) I would have tossed the highchair by now. I'm hoping to pass it to my good mate by the time her PFB needs it in about 4 months time.

Oh yes get the Ikea one - we got it in white very neutral , it did both my DS so lasted about 4ish years, so great value for money.

I would be amazed at any child sitting in a high chair until they were 10? My DS2 has been sitting on a booster seat for about a year or so (he is 3 and a half) and DS1 sits on a normal chair he is 5.

Another vote for the £15 Ikea high chair with tray. Easy to clean and comfy for kids, plus found in lots of cafes/restaurants so my ds has always been happy and relaxed in it when out and about. Understand that you have your heart set on one, but my son is already out of his at 2 so ours is away and waiting for the ds2 to be ready for it. I don't think you'll be using it till your ds is 10

get the ikea one, or the tripp trapp. they're the only two, tbh.

I had a £70 pushchair first time round. When dc 2 was born I threw it in the skip and bought an antilop for £12 and love it! Honestly you do not need to spend £70 on a highchair but it's your right to choose tell mil which one you want and see if she'll contribute towards it.

Why in gods name does a 10 year old need a highchair anyway though ?

TBH I've never met anyone who actually uses those chairs past the age when a child can sit on an ordinary chair, so you probably wouldn't end up using it as much as you think. In our case this is because they are wide at the base and it really hurts when you walk into them in bare feet.

However they are generally sturdy and resistant to tipping over/falling apart, and most of them are easy to clean as they don't have grooves and joints to trap food which a lot of the plastic ones doe have (IKEA one excepted).

YANBU It's a bit gutting when you don't usually get nice things and then someone buys you something expensive that you don't really like.

Dh's aunt bought us a highchair. It cost £80, it was so generous of her...it was a bugger to clean, took up loads of space and was really ugly.

I got the £15 Ikea Antilop which was fab, easy to clean, light but stable, fits at the table or with a tray and you can take the legs off it and stick it in the boot if you want to take it away with you for whatever reason.

The other highchair's still taking up precious cubboard space incase she visits and asks about it...

YABU. I would have got the Ikea one too, if not for a lovely friend who lent me her Graco one. Which is great, it reclines, it is padded, it is made of some robust warship design and it has a little mess bag for storing bibs and whatnot. The recliner is for what exactly? the padding is sewn on which means more bits for the food to squish into and clean out and the warship design means it takes up a ton of room, i keep catching my toes on it walking past, and DS takes delight in depositing a ton of mashed up banana over the chair, to land in amongst the bibs, muslin cloth and old bread bits.

But, if you are insistent and do not want it, and are now unhappy you should have told her so. She wants to buy this to help you out, but she is not helping you out, she is actually being a pain in the arse. And she might feel quite sad that what she thinks is being nice is actually getting on your nerves. I would be very upset that my gesture was accepted as 'duty'. could you not just call back and say that you have had some time to think and could you change your mind and have the money towards the other one instead, or buy xyz that you need instead? It is not too late. Yet.

Spending anything more that the £15 on a highchair is a complete waste of time, effort and money. We were given a monstrosity of a highchair, great big plastic thing, huge tray, huge legs. It went straight in the cupboard. I know it's not what you want to hear but the Antilop goes in the dishwasher or shower comes apart in a flash for travelling and slots in under the table so your child can sit at the table with you if you want.

No one loves spending money more than me, but highchairs are a serious waste of money and you'd be mad to spend it when you could buy something really nice for that price.

And the Antilop tray comes off easily so it'll do at the table later on as well...

suzi but MIL has not bought it yet, she offered to, not pitched up with it wrapped in a bow going 'tada!', there was a way out.

I am also an Antilop fan.
My DD1 refused to sit in her highchair once she got to 21 months. She wanted to be a 'big girl' and sit at the table on a proper chair like everyone else. A chair that lasts until they are 10? Mmmm I'm not convinced.
I don't put a highchair in the 'big decisions/costly item' category and if you are short of money then a gift is a gift.

I never had a high chair. Had a plastic booster seat that straps to a proper chair instead. It was great as we could leave it on and still push the chair under the table.

Another vote for the Antilop one here too - in fact we're off to Ikea this Tuesday to get it!

Antilop antilop antilop! Ring mil and say- "Look, I've heard that this fab cheap one in Ikea is brilliant. Should we get that instead and buy a bottle of champagne with the change and toast the baby as he sits in his great new chair?"

YANBU - I wanted nice wooden ones, even though I wasn't sure I could justify the cost (although not tripp trapp ones, but still £70 as you said). DS1 is 4.5 and still using his, and DS2 has one too - DS1 can sit on one of our normal chairs, but is quite low to the table when he does. So even if he doesn't use it until he's 10, he's already had 4 years out of it, which I think is pertty good. I love ours, find them easy to clean and reasonably stylish-looking (you know, for a highchair - so it's all relative). Hope you get the one you want.

I'd go for the Ikea Antilop. I wanted one to match decor etc, one that I thought was stylish and ended up spending £90 on it, top of the range, 12 years ago. It was a bugger to clean. So many nooks and crannies for food to get into. Bought the Ikea one for at my mum's (for £10 then) and it was perfect. So easy to wipe clean (after a bit honestly that's all you'll care about). I gave the expensive one away and used the Ikea one for years - the tray is removable so the chair could be pushed up close to kitchen table as DS got older. From about 3 he ate at a little pound shop plastic table on a little plastic chair till about 6 then he was big enough for a normal chair.