To be absolutely gob smacked at this womans behaviour

[ChezzaB]

Just finished work this afternoon and was waiting outside for DP to come and pick me up and this is walking towards me with a little girl (probably about 6) dawdling behind. This woman turns round andsays to the lo for f's sake hurry up. girl says something like I'm coming and the woman says fing hell hurry up i want to get home. girl starts crying and maybe mutters something at her mum at which point he mother turns round and says if you don't fing hurry up I'm going to fing slap you, talking to me like a piece of fing sht in public you stupid bitch.

This carried on down the street I really wanted to say somehing but thought I might get beaten up!I know children can be stressful but this is surely too much!!!! I just feel really bad for this girl, should I have done/said something or was I right to keep my nose out? WWYHD

I know people who use the 'f' word like it is a normal everyday word. They would not dream of calling anyone a fucking stupid bitch like that. Calling a 6 year old a stupid fucking bitch is beyond horrible and I would have registered my disapproval somehow, whether or not it risked a mouthful back. People like this should be challenged on bad behaviour, I don't care how bad a day this woman may have had, it isn't acceptable to call a young child a bitch ever.

The school holidays bring people to the surface who can probably just about cope with their children at weekends but 6 weeks of them is too much.
She's a rubbish parent, the child knows it too, both are miserable there should be less holidays or kids clubs compulsory in some areas.

But Rugbylovingmum you had a baby with you so of course you would be scared to approach them. Even without having your baby there they were clearly not averse to using their fists. And someone else did call the police so at least something was done.

I could be wrong but I believe this incident could have been classed as an assault.

An assault is committed when a person intentionally or recklessly causes another to apprehend the immediate infliction of unlawful force. (Archbold 19-166 and 19-172)

So you don't actually have to touch anyone to assault them, the fear of being hit is the assault. Usually assault goes with battery i.e. the actual infliction of unlawful force, but not always.

There is the defence of "reasonable chastisement", which allows a parent to smack their child. However, what counts as "reasonable chastisement" is a grey area.

I'd say a call to social services wouldn't hurt. They might be unable to do anything, but you will at least have done your bit by telling them. Remember Khyra Ishaq, Victoria Climbie, Baby P - the "it's none of my business" attitude contributed to their deaths.

Mamatomany - we're only 1 week into the summer hols. If a parent can't even cope with one week of their children perhaps the children would be better off elsewhere on a permanent basis?

I remember being in a shopping centre with my Mum and seeing a woman shouting at her little girl and walking really fast ahead of her so that the little girl kept getting really frightened and thinking her mum was walking away and leaving her. We just stood and stared in horror and ended up getting a mouthful of abuse roared at us across the Mall. People like that just get defensive and even more angry if their behaviour is challenged.

very surprised at some posters who think it isn't abusive to speak to anyone like that.

calling someone a stupid fucking bitch is verbal abuse. no-one deserves it and tbh if i did hear it i would tell them so, and i would expect to be told it was none of my business. but that would be because teh person would be embarrassed or defensive at being pulled up on it. i do believe that children are everyone's business and turning a blind eye enables it to continue.

and yes i have voiced my opinion in teh past and i have received a mouthful of abuse back. it' didn't do me any harm whatsoever.

Maybe you're right Callisto, but i don't think there is a que of loving homes waiting for them.
Frankly I can't cope with keeping my three entertained 24/7 for the 9 weeks they are off so i've thrown money at the situation and booked them on so many activity's they haven't time to annoy me but if somebody has very limited parenting skills and is suddenly thrust into a long 6 week stretch of being forced to parent this is the result.

Perhaps this woman was just having a bad day, but even on my worst days I've never sworn at the DCs or even threatened to hurt them. Shouting is about as far as I've gone.

Everybody's different, but if someone's temper gets the better of them to the extent that they are swearing at their child, and threatening to hit them, in public, then I dread to think what they would do to that child behind closed doors when nobody is looking.

So I think I would have said something, but I don't imagine it would have done any good.

These people are scum and, unfortunately, will most likely raise their children to become like them. And so the cycle will continue.

Maybe Keith Joseph had a point...?

In France they have over 8 weeks holiday and the majority of parents send their kids to holiday clubs all day, so it's as it they were at school anyway.
My parents neighbours were a horrible lot years ago.
The mum would shout at the kids from dawn to dusk and it was always F this and F that.
And now 12yrs on the eldest is the leader of a gang of thugs and beats up his mum

BarmyArmy: I disagree slightly. My mum used to speak like that to me, it really affected my self esteem but it has made me try even harder never to talk to my own child in that way.

There isn't any justification for the language the woman used. It was unacceptable but some people do not know how to vent their anger and sadly take it out on their children. Lets face it, there are awful parents there.

I highly doubt saying something to the woman would have helped, she probably would have gotten angry, sworn at you and said she's my child, mind your own business or much worse.

I hope that child will learn to ignore it, it took me many years.

bananastainsonallmytops - fair point - apologies for the over-generalisation. Well done you on being able to react against such language.

Sadly, many children, brought up with such anger and aggression and abuse around them, can't.

This is an indicator of more abuse. We all know the tragic stories where the neighbours say well I saw this but didn't want to get involved....

I don't think that the suggestion of following her home and calling SS is over the top at all.

What you saw was abuse - verbal abuse. She also threatened physical abuse. That is enough to judge that SS should get involved. You don't need cast iron proof that she should be removed from her parents to call SS - it is their job to evaluate the situation.

Consequences of not calling SS when they should be called much worse than calling them when they needn't be.

Jane - I agree. That little girl has no voice. Calling SS or NSPCC might have made a huge difference to her life.

Where the hell do you all live, there are so many threads on here like this, adults publically verbally abusing there children! I come from the Midlands - Walsall in the Midlnads, it doesnt get much worse than my surrounding areas, and i have NEVER come across this, its so sad, but feeling a sudden pride for the black country .

In answer to the op, i would have done that talking loudly to myself about the woman but hoping she could hear, a bit cowardly and foolish all in one.

I have seen this kind of thing so many times where I live .

I do shout at my kids and I have felt really angry with them at times, I am not perfect but I have never sworn at my children or called them an abusive name, oh sorry I have on occasion called my ds a doughnut when he has done something particularly ill thought out.

The thought of calling my 3 year old dd an "ugly little bitch", which is something I heard a woman call her little girl in McDonalds a few weeks ago makes me shrivel inside.

I don't know what you should do, I don't think you can intervene really especially if you are with your own dc.

I'm inclined to agree with onedeadbadger and teameric.

I'm a self-confessed mouthy bint, as is DD (dunno where she gets it from...) and while I can't recall calling her a stupid fucking bitch, I admit I have lost my temper and let rip at her in public a few times.

I have never beaten, neglected starved or otherwise hurt her in anyway. Just because someone shouts and swears does not neccesarily mean they are child beaters.

It's a given, I'm sure, that if that woman had actually started slapping her daughter in the middle of the street we would have all intervened. How could we not?

The verbal abuse that child was receiving, though, would be damaging her self-esteem and her future just as much as any physical abuse. The likelihood that she would be physically and verbally abusive to her own children would be high, or she would be attracted to 'stronger' personalities than her who would mete out the same kind of physical and verbal abuse. She would have to be very lucky to have the emotional strength of bananastainsonallmytops and make a conscious decision to break the cycle.

Words are not just words to children. Children believe it when they are told they are rubbish, and it humiliates them (especially in public FFS) to be sworn at and shouted at. Just on the basis of what ChezzaB's described, I think there is good reason to believe that that little girl has an unhappy home life and that she needs help from SS. Maybe her mother is doing her best and is just not coping, but then that's what SS is for, isn't it? To keep good families that are struggling together, and remove children from parents who are toxic?