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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cat owners

118 replies

back2work · 29/07/2010 12:29

This isn't exactly an AIBU because I know that I am, but I'd like to know why IABU!

We live in a cul-de-sac and one of our neighbours has cats. They are in everyone else's gardens all the time and they will come into the houses too if the doors aren't closed. Yesterday morning one of the cats left a dead mouse on my patio. Yuk!!!
So why is it my job to clear up this sort of thing? Why shouldn't the person who owns the cat do it?

OP posts:
jaggythistle · 29/07/2010 12:30

see here :

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1002891-to-think-that-people-shouldn-39-t -really-have-cats

yanbu to be annoyed!!!

CheeseandGherkins · 29/07/2010 12:31

Did you tell the owner? If not how would they even know? You can't control where a cat goes when it's out unfortunately.

scurryfunge · 29/07/2010 12:32

The cat likes you, it was a gift.

Chil1234 · 29/07/2010 12:36

YABU. Other people's cats are annoying but it's not their job to clear up a dead mouse unless you can actually prove it was their cat that killed it. Close your doors, buy a dog, stand by with a water pistol/hosepipe, get your own cat.... enjoy the fact that they keep the rodents down. Lots of remedies.

Original poster
back2work · 29/07/2010 12:37

I know its a gift, but I am not interested in being friends and it obviously can't read my body language!

No I didn't tell the owners because its not the done thing, is it? Tell me I am wrong but the way it works is..

  • person wants cat
  • person checks with rest of their household that they are ok with getting a cat
  • person gets the cat, keeps it in doors for a while and then lets it out to roam
  • neighbours can do what they please (like it or lump it) as long as they don't do anything unpleasant to the cat or complain to the owner about their much loved cat
OP posts:
LuluF · 29/07/2010 12:37

Cats leaving things on doorsteps etc, is, I've always understood, to be an offering. Is this definitely a neighbour's cat? Not a cat who didn't leave when the previous occupants did? Sometimes cats like the look of people and decide to adopt them - maybe you have been 'chosen'?

Cats aren't keen on being stared at (apparently a sign of agression) and this explains why, if someone really doesn't like cats they won't look at them, and cats, pretty much without fail, make a bee-line for that person.

I think if my neighbour told me my cat was responsible for a dead thing (I'd faint, actually - he's no hunter) on their patio, and asked me to clear it up, I would actually think they were a bit strange, tbh. It's a bit like the dog poo at the entrance to my drive - makes me cross, but can you actually insist that the owner of the dog comes and clears it up? Probably not.

werewolf · 29/07/2010 12:37

Maybe it was a mouse living in your garden that the cat killed.

Does that make it better?

Original poster
back2work · 29/07/2010 12:38

Chil1234 - one thing i can be certain of is that someone's cat killed the mouse and it wasn't mine as I don't have one.

OP posts:
Original poster
back2work · 29/07/2010 12:40

I knwo IABU because I know this isn't how it works. What i am asking cat owners to do is tell me what the logic is that means they get a cat and I get to clean up the dead mice?

OP posts:
werewolf · 29/07/2010 12:43

Well, I'd rather have a dead mouse/rat to clear up than a live one to deal with.

You don't have decking, do you?

Original poster
back2work · 29/07/2010 12:45

no, I don't have decking?! Are you wondering if I am your neighbour by any chance?

OP posts:
LuluF · 29/07/2010 12:45

There is no logic. Why does there have to be logic? My neighbours moved in with a big barky, pooy dog. Did they ask me? No they didn't. Did they ask me first about keeping really noisy chickens and ducks? No they didn't. Don't clean up the dead mouse then. Leave it. It'll decompose eventually.

Original poster
back2work · 29/07/2010 12:51

LuluF .. your neighbours should have asked you about the chickens and ducks! I agree though that its not normal to ask your neighbours about a house pet.

If your child went over to soemone else's house and lefty something yukky behind, you'd clear it up, wouldn't you? The child is not to be blamed assuming they are young enough) because they just can't help it. Its the same with cats - they can't be trained so there is no point being upset with the owner when they do these things. However, I am arguing that it should be the custom that cat owners clean up this sort of thing (without an inquest into exactly whose cat is responsible first)

OP posts:
BenignNeglect · 29/07/2010 12:55

Why should someone clean up after a cat that is not theirs?

LuluF · 29/07/2010 12:56

No I wouldn't probably because whoever they went to visit would probably do it (as I do when other people's children visit me and leave somthing 'yucky'). If I was there when it happened, then of course I'd do it. But, if the person asked me to come round especially to clear it up - I would, but I'd think it very odd behaviour in all honesty.

How are you proposing for the cat owners to know about the dead things without launching an inquest? How would we know it was there in the first place?

Original poster
back2work · 29/07/2010 12:59

why do you think begignneglect? Let's say you own a cat for 10 years. How many dead birds/ squirrels/ mice have your killed and left on someone else's property versus how many have you cleaned up from other people's property?

OP posts:
MrsC2010 · 29/07/2010 12:59

YANBU to be cross. Our neighbour's cat uses our garden as its toilet and digs up every plant my poor husband tries to plant. I can imagine her face were one of our dogs to return the favour on a dialy basis...and the cries of outrage that would provoke on here.

Original poster
back2work · 29/07/2010 13:00

LuluF -"we" Are you a cat owner?

OP posts:
Original poster
back2work · 29/07/2010 13:02

I'm not really cross. Just a bit disgusted really and wishing that our neighbours happened not to make their love of cats an enforced community thing.

OP posts:
FluffyDonkey · 29/07/2010 13:04

Everyone knows that you don't own cats - they own you.

LuluF · 29/07/2010 13:05

Well, yes. But not sure he counts as a 'proper cat', he sleeps inside most of the time, has caught a dead worm and a piece of toast (he looked SO pleased with himself). He goes outside to sunbathe and comes in to use the litter tray. He can come and live nextdoor to you , if you like?

FluffyDonkey · 29/07/2010 13:05

Oh and my cat has never killed anything (although she did catch a feather once) and only poos in our garden (which I can be sure of as she never leaves it).

Not all cats are killing machines.

booyhoo · 29/07/2010 13:05

we live in a town but my neighbour keeps horses in a field at the back. they have to walk them past the entrance to our cul-de-sac to take them from field to house. i came home from school run one morning and they were leading horse into the field, pulled up to my house and there was a massive fresh pile of horse dung on the path outside my door. i guess the horse got away from them for a few minutes and left a deposit. i was 99% sure it was their horse, as it was still steaming and they had just put horse into field. what did i do? i put on some gloves and grabbed a shovel. no point stirring things up with what have, so far, been ok neighbours.

Original poster
back2work · 29/07/2010 13:10

that's basically what I did too booyhoo. I think its what most people do.

I've just read the other thread:-
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1002891-to-think-that-people-shouldn-3 9-t%20-really-have-cats

I think its all been said before. Am loving jaggythistles comments!

OP posts:
BenignNeglect · 29/07/2010 13:10

I take it that we are working on the assumption that all cat owners have cats that go outside, that all are capable of hunting, and that all cats leave "presents" where they can be seen/found. No, I really don't see why you would expect all cat owners to clean up after every other cat. I wouldn't expect owner of Dog X the clean up after Dog Y - I would only expect them to clean up after Dog X. If you know whose cat it is - which seems to be the case from your post - then tell them and ask them to clean up the mice/rats/birds.

MrsC - have you tried the sonic scarers? I've found that they work a treat.