to be uterly depressed watching The Hospital

[Fibilou]

The last episode was on sexual health in teens. The kid are just so clueless, the "safe sex" message just doesn't seem to be getting through.
"how many partners have you had this week" "4" "did you use a condom" "with two I think"

"do you wear a condom" "only if the girl asks"

There was a bloke that thought chlamydia was a "rite of passage" and didn't seem at bothered about his genital herpes when he was told it couldbe "managed".

And no judgement, no telling them to stop shagging anything that moves, completely unprotected. Perish the thought someone might tell them they're doing something stupid. All the HCPs just trottedout platitudes about it being "very common" and "not to worry about it".

I know it's only a TV programme and was only a tiny fraction of teenagers so not representative of all teens/young adults but I found the ignorance and lack of interest in their sexual health really shocking. And a bit of a damning indictment of our sex education classes

I struggle to understand this whole generation now with the sex education. I am in my 20's, so it wasn't much more than 10 years ago when I was one such child sat at school listening to sex education talks.

At primary school, we saw a video depicting cartoon characters having sex and were given packs of sanitary towels and that was it. As for the boys, I doubt they got any handouts. At secondary school, we got one lesson. I believe it lasted an hour and was in place of biology. Couldn't tell you much of what was in it, but I do remember it didn't cover anything more than condoms by way of sexual health (and ever then, they were only mentioned to prevent pregnancy). Clearly extremely inadequate, and I went to the best school of three in my town, and I lived in a pretty affluent area, so I can't blame it on standards in that respect. That said, I didn't get the sex talk from my parents either. My father was a useless parent from beginning to end (parents got divorced, didn't see him after that) and my mum's idea of the talk was to tell me that one of her friend's daughter's had started her periods (I was 11 when she said that, and I don't remember it being mentioned again).

But I wasn't promiscuous as a teen (not in a couple, but still very close to the person to whom I lost my virginity and have never had one night stands etc, for example) and I didn't get pregnant underage or anything like that.

I'd like to think I was smart and hung out with the right people when I was a kid, but I honestly think things have changed since I was a teenager. Attitudes have lapsed. When I was at school, we were worried about STDs and teen pregnancy. Maybe that's something that comes from going to a good school (academically speaking), as I supposed I was trained to aim higher and have some respect for myself. Some of the kids in these programmes aim for motherhood as a career choice (living off benefits as something to look forward to).

In general, I agree with the majority here. It's seriously depressing to watch these types of programmes and see the lack of respect kids have for themselves. Makes you want to tie your kids to your apron strings and never let them go lol.

My parents never talked to me about sex and didn't have any at school either. I learnt what I knew from friends however, I was also brought up in the era when AIDS was supposed to be the next big killer and it scared the life out of me so much it had an impact on my sex life until I was about 20 (we won't go into what happened after that age). Kids nowadays don't think that HIV is a problem (or their problem at least). Because it can actually be managed, it doesn't frighten them. Most other illnesses can be treated and nobody needs to know that you have had them and in most cases the individual barely knows themselves. Additionally, most teenage girls don't see being pregnant as a problem, particularly if it means they get money from the state.

I don't know about a solution.

Scaremongering isn't particularly good and it definitely affected me (although it works for a while).

I have heard in spain the sex education starts at 5 but it is gentle and is about respecting your own body and other people and apparently they have a low pregnancy rate. I am sure that this could be the start of the solution.

Also, from what I understand of the problem education is a big problem (as in it is the uneducated people who are more likely to get themselves pregnant) and part of me does think that too much time could actually be being spent on sex education. I mean it is a little important but if you think you have a good future ahead of you and prospects will you want to mess it up with a baby at the age of 14?

The sex education I had at school was shockingly bad (all girls religious school) and I have tried to make up for that since in my career through PSHE lessons. However the problem is that many pupils at the top end of our school (middle years 5-8) are already have sexual encounters if not full blown intercourse and the information is getting lost because it is at a level that assumes (rightly or wrongly) that they are still at least 3 years away from anything stronger than hand holding.

When I trained in a secondary school with a Year 11 form the content of the lessons was better but most of the pupils had been very sexually active before and they saw it as "I haven't had an STI so far so i won't change how I do things now".

It was very sad about the 16 yo with HIV. She seemed so alone. I would hate to think of my child having make decisions about medication etc without anyone to talk to. It was worrying that their is a pocket of seemingly unrelated HIV infections amongst young people. There must be a lot of undiagnosed young people out there .

I did not understand the genital herpes man at all. Rite of passage my arse.

You only have to read this thread to see that it's not only the young people who lack sex education.

There's all this talk about it's all ok, as long as you use a condom and take some responsibility. But the fact of the matter is, condoms only prevent some STDs, they're not necessarily going to prevent Herpes or HPV, and once you've got those you've got them for life (to be honest, last time I studied this sort of thing there was very little evidence that they prevented other sorts of diseases such as chlamydia too).

I don't think an abstinence policy should be promoted, but people (of all ages) should know that you can't protect against everything and therefore you might like to consider that before you choose to sleep with someone.

Itsallgoingtobefine "It doesn't help that sex education is not allowed in the catholic schools (we had to put the catholic kids on sex ed courses in the summer so we didn't have to get school permission)"

Where are you getting this from? I went to a catholic school and we had exactly the same sex ed as everyone else. I don't think that has changed.

i once had to teach sex ed. i wanted to tell the kids to just not do it. wait till you get married, or at the very least, are in a stable comfortable relationship. but no. i wasnt allowed to. had to tell them it was all ok, and it was their choice to do what they wanted to , but oh, by the way, you might get these std type things.
i'm fairly sure that all i did was get the 11 and 12 year olds more interested in sex than they already were.

Actually teen pregnancies are down 10% in the last decade:-

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/education/8531227.stm

It was utterly depressing viewing indeed. In Europe, where the rates of teenage pregnancy and STI's are much lower, parents actually engage with their children about sex AND relationships. Here, I learned only the mechanics at school and was told by my Catholic parents not to have sex until I was married. It took me years to have a healthy attitude to sex and I'm determined to teach my son about self respect and resposibiity, not just where to insert his penis.

I'm 37 so it was a long time ago since I 'did' sex ed. But I remember it quite vividly. I remember covering all the symptoms of the STD's and being shocked. It was the first time I'd heard of gonorrhea or chlamydia! We had the chance to write anonymous questions for the teacher to answer.

Our teacher also told quite an inappropriate joke for 14-15 year olds (but likewise I have never forgotten it). How do you make a hormone? Don't pay her! That may have been in another class, but it's my only other memory of science lesson!!!

Wasn't it depressing when the (heroic) health worker said, "if your DD comes home pregnant you'd be happy, compared with some of the things that she could be coming home with." And that they have 19 under-18s with HIV, including 5 girls. Jesus.

On a side note, if you haven't watched the show yet, FGS don't do what I did and settle down to watch it while eating your dinner. Seldom have I enjoyed a Pieminister beef and chorizo pie less.

I am 29, but know lots of teenager girls. They don't do anything we didn't do. The only difference I see is that they are more willing to openly discuss sexual encounters.

I sadly was not surprised by the kids on this programme and it seems to be another example of how teens aren't getting the information in a way that they can relate to. I was part of a teen peer education programme on HIV when I was (much) younger. Gay workers helped gay teens, straight women talked to straight women, you get the picture. If you are 15, anyone over 25 is just past it and doesn't understand anyway, so they are just ignored (I'm not kidding here).

But we don't do it this way, we still have Mrs Stuffypants the geography teacher explaining about urethras and the onset of menses (which for a while I thought was about when the newsagent opened in the morning).

Parents either have to really, really educate their kids on relationships (not just sex) or we have to rethink how we get the messages across IMHO.

beyond me why anyone watches this salacious car crash tv.

Ladysibyl- I agree completely.

I went to school in a rough, deprived area.
We had very little meaningful sex education.

One girl in my class got pregnant at 14. She was regarded rather sadly as a complete and utter whore-the message was very clear. Her "life" was over, even though she was in the top class. The boy who got her pregnant was 18 and regarded as bad, worthless and the a prime example of what to avoid.

Believe me when I say it was the most compelling education as to avoid at all costs getting pregnant. It certainly ensured that I kept my legs very tightly shut.

I don't think that teaching abstinence worked when I was a child, and given how heavily sexualised British society has become I think it highly unlikely it would be in any way effective now. The majority of teenagers would just switch off having decided that you were totally out of touch. For my own children I'm certainly going down the wait until you are 100% sure you are ready, with a lot of how do you know who is a good friend and self esteem stuff, but then I think it is easier to give that sort of message to children who expect to stay in education until their 20's and to have an interesting career and life. When your prospects are bleak and your esteem is shot then your judgments are likely to be poorer (plus the whole immortality/stick your head in the sand and hope thing too)

My mother span the no sex before marriage line to us when we were growing up, and I'm afraid we just thought she was missing out the fundamental bit about sex being fun and enjoyable, and felt rather sorry for her (and my poor father too).

Teenage pregnancies are going down and have done consistently for many years, but we are still hugely lagging behind many other countries, and in general it is poorer areas and poorer girls that get into trouble (of course bearing in mind that some older teens have planned pregnancies in stable relationships and make great parents).

I worked once with someone from the Phillippines whose mother's parting words to her as she headed off to seek her fortune (in Saudi Arabia and later in the US) were, 'Don't bother coming home if you're sick or pregnant'.

Sex education, lack of it or too much of it, has nothing to do with the problems evident on the programme. The real problems start much earlier than the average first sex ed class. Indiscriminate sexual activity just makes individuals' issues stand out very plainly. And imo it all boils down to parents who don't care.

I agree with JosieZ's observations about the US, where teens don't hang around together late into the night except in inner city areas.

MerryMarigold if you weren't 8yrs older than me I'd swear blind we had the same sex ed class - and my science teacher told us that joke too! You didn't go to school in Bristol did you?!

Well I think that children should be educated as soon as they are mature enogh to understand the basics.
Barmyarmy- I remember watching adverts against irresponsible use of fireworks and cigarettes at the age of 5 and it did scare me off them.
The problem starts at home. Mum and dad were too embarassed to talk openly about sex so plonked the Usborne book of facts of life on my lap after I caught them at it at the age of 7. Totally inadequate imo and I was horrified. Would have been far better if they were open, frank and not embarassed about sex. A face to face discussion is so important. WHY are parents so prudish about something that's so natural? Is it a british thing?
I waited til 16 despite being 'taught' about sex from an early age.

I got pregnant accidentally out of marriage at the age of 29. I had a degree and PGCE. How is that different from a pregnant teenager? I'm still feckless! This no sex before marriage business just dosn't wash with most people; teens or older. Neither does safe sex really.
I was given poor sex and relationship education so I have never had a healthy relationship modelled to me. The emotional side of relationships just wasn't discussed.
I hate to be sexist but I do feel that young men need far more guidance about respect in relationships that young women.

Young men also need to learn to be responsible for any children they might create and learn to always use a condom especially if they don't want to be a daddy.
They should also not be encouraged to sleep around and wait til they know a girl but I'm not sure if this can be helped.
Why should the poor teenage/single mums be vilified?

I suspect the problem starts at home, with embarrassed parents who don't want to talk about it and believe myths such as 'if you tell them about sex, it will only encourage them to go out and try it'.

Had a conversation about sex ed with a group of school governors recently, and that was the gem from one man, a father. I pointed out that actually, in Scandinavian countries where sex ed starts much younger, there are lower rates of teenage pregnancy. And there's clear data showing more reliable information decreases the age of first sex. But he wouldn't believe it.

My sister recently got very upset and worked up by her son's school showing a sex ed video to the Year Ones. Her objection was that it gave the proper names for parts of the body including the clitoris. She said 'he doesn't need to know those things yet and the clitoris isn't part of making a baby'. I pointed out it might possibly be a factor but she wasn't persuaded...

Spoke to lots of other parents I know just to see if her reaction was common and it was. They all seem to think you should wait until Year 6 before you mention sex at all. (Yet several girls in the class will have started to menstruate by then.)

sorry, reliable information increases the age of first sex - the better the information, the longer they wait.

Does anyone else think that there's something in British culture which makes talking about sex more embarrassing and dirty than actually doing it? And that a lot of the bad things that it can cause, such as STDs, unwanted pregnancies etc could be cut if responsible adults talked openly to young people?

I always got the feeling from the minimal sex ed that we had that our body parts were dirty and the teacher had to force the words out of her mouth.

We weren't really taught about self-worth and to aim higher than sleeping with boyfriends to make them like us.

Music videos and TV also has a lot to answer for in my opinion.

I married the only person I've ever had sex with, so my experiences aren't the same as some other people. But from talking to lots of teens in our church youth group there is just such an expectation on them to have sex young and with the 1st guy who shows an interest.