To want to be asked before people come into my house when I am out?

[SuNuraxi]

Left the house this morning in a bit of a state - dishes on the side, toys all over the floor, nothing in it's place and all the blinds are drawn.

Just arrived home at lunchtime and I had a missed call from DH, so I rang him back. He said that one of his friends was coming round to drop off his golf clubs, and he had offered to take DSD swimming with their daughter. DSD is staying with MIL and FIL at the moment, so as they had a spare key, DH told them to come round and let themselves in and go and get DSD's swimsuit and towel etc.

I would never get in the way of DSD going out with her friend, but I just really don't like the idea of them coming into the house when I'm not here.

I know that DH had called me, but he didn't wait for me to say "yes it's ok", as they were already here by the time I put the phone down.

They are only really meant to have a key for emergencies.

YABU... It's someone you know well enough to leave them a key, it's not just your house and they had your husband's permission to enter the premises. So what if the place was a little messy?

Where was the swimsuit?
See, ours are all kept, with towels etc.. in a large drawer in our bedroom. So I would not be happy for anyone to go in there and rummage about.
But if they're more accessible then maybe.
I think I would share your discomfort, specially if the house was a tip (as it often is).

Oh, I'm not annoyed at them - you're right, they had DH's permission - it's just that DH always just thinks of it as his home. No-one checked to make sure I wasn't in - so I could have been strutting round the house in my birthday suit (and yes, I do that sometimes, just this morning actually). That would have been highly embarrassing!

i think YABalittleU...sorry.

i assume that with your DH living in the house with you aswell that he would be allowed to make these decisions (to let poeple in the house) without your permission? i get that it may be a little embarrassing that the house might have been less than immaculate but most people dont spend their time noticing things like that when in a rush (finding swimming costume/towels etc)

if they had come in and had a rummage aswell...then maybe i maight agree with you.

my sisters landlord has a habit of 'letting himself in' when she isnt in. she came home a few weeks ago and he was in her kitchen fixing a problem he hadnt even rang her to ask if it would be ok and she was in bed when he turned up (8AM on a saturday) she had the biggest fright when she went to go the bathroom in her PJs and he was stood in the kitchen

The swimsuit was upstairs in DSD's bedroom - towel, they would have had to look for as we have no linen cupboard, so they just get piled up in various locations, including our bedroom.

oops x-posts

I've heard many stories of landlords doing that and I think it is bang out of order. I used to be a landlord myself and I always gave the tenant at least a weeks notice before I went round, and also tried to make sure they were there at the same time.

My friend had a landlord who had been blatantly coming into the house often while they were at work, as things were always moved or misplaced, but the landlord always denied it. I would find that even more creepy in a way.

I dunno, maybe I am being unreasonable, but I just think that in your own home, you should be able to leave it like a pigsty if you wish, and not have to worry about who might be coming in when you are out (or in!)