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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have cried last night because I realise im alone

9 replies

sweetbloom · 28/07/2010 10:47

Had a phone last night from a close fiend to ask me if something she heard was true,it was untrue and I certainly had not said anything at all.
Her dp had heard something and misunderstood and brought my name into it,I was shaking with anger and nearly in tears and found myself saying a few things that were peeing me of about our friendship and mates, I also said I was owed an apology and left.
I cried my eyes out yesterday feel like I have no real friends anymore,since having kids we have grown apart.
I have just spent two lovely days with my kids as dp could not get time of work came home to mil and fil straight on the phoen,I feel like they are checking up on me maybe its just me,having eating issues with son so probably checking I have fed him.
A friend tried to give me advise about my dc saying I needed to carry through a threat so no sweets and mean it,also she made a passing comment about dp sitting in the car in the eve and how and one other had noted it.
My dp works very long hours so I am on my own alot, I feel im trying my best for my kids but its hard,im trying to look for a pt job and go back to work after the hols.
Aibu because I feel very alone,my sister has told me get out there and meet other mums,and dp agreed he also feels mn is not good as its not real life if you see what I mean,please advice me because I feel im in a rut.
I like to have a few drinks in the eve,probably becuase Im bored and alone it would be interesting to hear your views.

OP posts:
Chil1234 · 28/07/2010 10:52

Life changes. When you're a parent your responsibilities change along with your priorities. It is normal to feel that you're the only one that's ever been there.

You're not alone because you have a partner, sister, children, in-laws. You're getting a job so that will increase your social circle. Making time for yourself is important.... and if your partner agrees then he'll look after them while you're out making new friends. Having a 'few drinks in the evening' sounds like you think it's a problem.

Life's what you make it.

HecateQueenOfWitches · 28/07/2010 10:56

Wow. You sound really low and frustrated. There's so much going on and you've lumped it together iyswim. It's like and this and this and this and this...

The big wodge of stuff that's going on is overwhelming you. Try to separate each thing and look at it on its own.

Can you take some time and join a club, start a course, or something? Just something to get you out and meeting people?

And yes, if you do make a 'threat' you do need to carry it through, otherwise they quickly learn that you don't mean what you say and that is not good news for you!!

Ionderog · 28/07/2010 11:04

How old are your kids? If any are young enough try going along to parent and baby groups nearby.

You may need to try a few to find a group that has like minded people, but my dh (who cares full time for our kids) has found it a god send and all the friends I can really talk to I have met through his membership of these groups.

RunawayWife · 28/07/2010 11:12

Go to see your GP about your food issues, and stop drinking in the evenings it is not a good thing

StealthPolarBear · 28/07/2010 11:14

what's the story about your DP sitting in the car in the evening? Why does he do that?

sweetbloom · 28/07/2010 11:19

Its not my food issues its my son,I have made an appointment for friday for him.
My dp sits in the car to make calls and collect paper work etc and talk to his bp and go through the days events.

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 28/07/2010 11:23

Oh I see. Wouldn't be my choice but what on earth is there to comment about
She may have genuinely been trying to hlp about the threats etc- sometimes it's just easier to see stuff when you're at a bit of adistance

Chil1234 · 28/07/2010 11:34

You seem like a 'glass half empty' sort of person at the moment. Some of the things you describe are actually quite normal .... friends giving well-meant parenting advice, a misunderstanding about something overheard, in-laws calling to see how the baby is... but your reaction is to think they're all getting at you. You have a supportive partner and sister, by the sound of it. You're not alone.

You don't have to have post natal depression to find life challenging and isolating with young children, but it could be worth talking to your doctor if you feel this is out of character or if it has got worse recently. A lot of people drink to self-medicate when they are depressed.

sweetbloom · 28/07/2010 11:42

I had pnd on and off for 4 years came of the tablets and it has started again it seems,and I have put weight on got acne and started to feel down, been very tearful today. Maybe pmt or the start of.

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