about christening

[racmac]

DS3 being christened soon and i would like a friend to be god parent but i dont want her dp to be the other godparent

Am i being unreasonable - is it ok to have her but not him?

Of course!!

You don't need to ask both people - you ask who you want, regardless of whether they're part of a couple.

i think that is fine in fact i think it is more the norm not to have a married couple IYKWIM

i have never asked my childrens godparents partners to be godparents too don't worry you will not cause any offense

i had dd3 christened recently and asked both my sister's but neither long term partner/husband. everyone was fine.

It doesn't make sense to me to ask both halves of the same couple. Surely the other, unasked partner is going to be involved as long as they are a couple, so asking halves of a couple can almost mean more Godparents which = more support, presents at birthday & Christmas or whatever else you want your child to have godp for.

No YANBU, we have just picked godparents for DS and 2 are friends but we have not asked their partners. I thought it was odd when we were discussing it that DH's own godparents were a couple- I had never come across couples both being godparents before. And nobody else I know has asked both halves of couples.

My DH and I have 3 god-children between us, all acquired whilst we were married. We're only joint god-parents to one of them, then have one of our "own" each. I'm no less involved with "his" god-daughter than I am mine, in fact far more so as my god-daughter now lives in Japan whilst his lives a short drive away.
So don't worry about it, no-one should be offended.

YANBU at all, ask who you like/want

YANBU

but depending on the reason why you don't want him, it may still up trouble - is there history?

from experience, it is ideal to choose a family member (not an in law) to be a god parent......
That way if there are any divorces, separations etc, the child keeps/knows their godparents.
I thought X & Y in my family would never split, but alas announced their divorce..
Consequently for DC2, only family members are being asked to be godparents.

DH has 3 Godchildren. I have none.

I never thought it strange that they weren't asking me too - but then I'm an athiest so I wouldn't expect to be asked anyway.

YANBU, my mum is godparent to 2 boys and never has her partner been asked.

thanks everyone put my mind at rest i didnt want to upset anyone.

no history - he's a perfectly nice bloke but he's not my friend - i rarely see him tbh

I have the traditional three godparents (two of my sex, one of the opposite) as does my sister. In both cases the godfather is married to one of the godmothers, and the other godmother is a "spare" - in my case married at the time of choice, in the other case not. I am a godmother to DH's sister's child (who also has the traditional three set up) - part of the reason I was asked was because I am christened and my husband is not so it wasn't an option for him to be a godparent anyway. In that case the other godparents were DH's sis' partner's brother and his wife - who have now split up and as it's been a difficult situation I suspect the other godmother will drop out of the picture.

It really is up to you but you may well find the not being christened thing means you don't have neat couples of godparents even if you wanted them!

Euphemia, the point of Godparents is most definitely NOT that they will take on the care of Godchildren if their parents die.

For some people the Godparents are also the people that parents have asked to be guardians in the event of their death but it's a separate thing. Guardians need to be defined in a will or similar and people who are assuming Godparents will act as guardians need to get this written into their will (after discussion with the intended guardians).

I have one Goddaughter who is also my niece and I would happily be her guardian too if I was asked. My DDs have non-family members as their Godparents (DD1 has 2 females and a male, DD2 has 3 females and 2 males). An entirely different couple are named in our wills as guardians.

The C of E website defines the role of Godparents as below:

The role of Godparents is often confused with the legal role of guardians, but the two roles are entirely separate.

The role of Godparents is to speak on behalf of the infant being baptised during the baptism service itself and to support the parents in bringing the child up as a Christian within the family of the Church, so that that they will confess the faith for themselves and come in due time to confirmation.

In order that they can fulfil their role Godparents need be able to make the declarations and promises in the baptism services, which is why the Church of England requires all Godparents to be baptised themselves and normally to be confirmed as well. That is also why it is not possible for a member of another faith to be a Godparent.

but i have godparents who are not catholic - yet the children are baptised as catholic - i thought as long as 1 godparent was baptised it was fine

Is C of E different

DH is a godparent to 3 children

I am to none..

weird thing is DH is agnostic and I have a religious belief..

our children have 4 godparents each none of them have couples that are married.

to the Poster that said only family my aunt was my dd1's godparent (she was only 10 years older than me) she sadly passed away from cancer 2 years ago. dd1's other godparent divoced and we have heard nothing from her since a 3rd godparent we have lost touch with but he sends a card every year so dd1 has 1 active godparent

dh's best friend.