to wonder what has happened to the task of being a parent in the last 7 years

[OrmRenewed]

that has made it such a minefield of terrors?

Because either it has changed beyond recognition since my youngest was born, the world has become much more dangerous, or I was always a very careless (and lucky) parent.

I didn't worry much about ponds, dogs, medecine, choking on lego or grapes, gps breaking the rules, food, strangers touching my baby ....I don't mean I didn't think about the risks, I did but generally considered it not worth much angst.

Is my assumption that the world is really a good and positive place, not one full of danger, out-of-date?

Thank fuck I am done with it now

Bloody hell ruby! That sounds exhausting . I strive to be an OK parent but a good human being. Much easier. And if you manage to be the latter, you're half way there with the former IMO.

i agree op
i am mum to kids aged almost 18 and just 2 and a few in between. When i had ds1 we just got on with it - no rules no nothing.
Now with dc6 it all seems so regimented and restricted.....i cannot abide the HV coming to do checks on them - what's the point?

Reins are what made me realise that things have changed quite a bit since DD (8) was born. She wore reins when out and about and so did my friends DC.

I now have a DS (22 m) and the look of horror on some of the first time mums faces when I suggested them was hilarious.
I was practically taken aside and informed that if I wanted to use some kind of restraint that a new king of backpack was now available along with a whole host of other gadgets that have appeared over the years to make parenting easier (and more humane)

ooooh i LOVE reins. we call it 'the leash'.

What's wrong with reins?!

(and another new mum paranoia is born)

I think reins look awesomely useful. Love how having a backpack strapped on with string attached is supposed to be better. It's the same thing - with a little bag attached.

Are people worried that the tiny toddlers will feel humiliated by being held onto?

op, I'm surprised about your opening post, I had to re-read it, I thought you meant 17 years, not just 7! of course things haven't changed in that tiny short space of time, parents with babies still worry about daft things like they always did, nothing changes. I've been here for about 7 yrs and I notice no difference.

your op sounds a bit patronising to me

whats wrong with reigns ?

MN has made me really paranoid, my DD is a very tall 3.9 year old with SN who looks 5-6, is in a buggy, have never had ANY real life comments but from reading on here I feel people are really judging me and I am totally embarrassed when on a bus or out in street pushing her along, silly really!!

also all the stuff about "helicopter parents"..she looks normal but has the awareness of a toddler so I have to hover round her at the park all the time and think everyone is judging me!!!

I have to say being in Edinburgh, people don't tend to make remarks to strangers, just look on with a cats bum face, which is a bit easier!!

I think 99% is a gross exageration. They are more visible because everyone else jumps on them.

Do people think the backpack thing is different to reins?

Reins are brilliant! Got DS (2) a back pack with reins and they are fab. But he is missing the danger gene and if not stopped will walk in front of cars/bus/trains.

Am sure DD wasn't like this....

Re the OP - in my experience of a range of different internet forums (forums? Fora? whatever ) I think in many ways they actually breed neediness.

First time motherhood is a very lonely business for many. Then you discover a forum of other people in the same situation. You want to talk / communicate with these people so you post about every tiny, little thing you can think of just to have a reason to post / start a convo. I did it myself on many occasions

People ask paranoid Q's because they can!

I got complimented on using reins yesterday.

"it's nice to see a sensible mum using reins, so much better than shouting at them all the time"

Was a bit taken aback but quietly pleased at the same time.

Am sure there were other people watching who felt sorry for the poor wee mite

As soon as you realise you can't please everyone and just take the 'whateveeeer' approach, life is much easier and relaxed.

I thought people were saying that they were encountering people saying that backpacks (I'm thinking of the little life ones) were somehow more acceptable than traditional reins. I can't fit enough in one of those backpacks to avoid having my own bag!

coalition, o.k. o.k 99% was a slight exageration. but not that much. and its not that people jump on them. it that theres more of them. and more trivial. and more anxious. its has got worse.

i agree with riven's description. you used to sit and chat. now you've hovering incase your child does something and everyone looks at you with scorn. wheres the relaxation and social in that. it HAS changed. and mn has accordingly.

YANBU, people just seem to worry so much.

Sometimes I think I must be missing something, I just don't get it. My kids have every advantage there is to have in the world - what more could I do? What is the point in worrying about stuff?