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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be really upset about what happened at nursery today?

12 replies

tryingtobemarypoppins2 · 27/07/2010 21:21

DS 2:8 months went to nursery today.
When we arrived the 0-3 unit was closed up for major building work and the unit had been moved the the over 3's unit (closed for the summer) without any parents knowing.

Not a major problem but a bit unsettling as its very different and lots of unfamilar things etc.

Anyway DS seemed ok, went off for breakfast etc.

I asked the staff if he could have an earier sleep before lunch then after if needed as he had had a nightmare in the night and was really tired.

When I arrived to pick him up they said he had been 'found' crying on and off throughout the day. This is VERY VERY unlike him. The first time he was found sat at a computer on his own, the second curled up in a chair with the canopy over the top They said he was unable to explain why.

They also said he had slept over lunch, missing it, was then offered lunch after he woke on his own, he refused it just drinking the juice from the fruit salad dessert.

DS is a very poor eater. He has just started eating much better with his peers but has a fortified milk and is under a dietition.

He eat a good tea.

I discovered his milk still in his bag after his key worker couldn't remember if he had been given it.

So it seems he eat nothing from 8:30 - 4pm, unclear as to how much he drunk.

This is the second time we have had an issue. When he was 10 months, 1 milk feed was missed. They did say sorry and said new procedures were now being followed.

I am cross. Scared also as my 6 month old starts 1 day a week in september. I feel so so bad.

AIBU to be so upset about this. I know it was a hard day for the staff but I am so upset. The manager was very sorry and said she would be having 'words.'

Whats the best thing to do.

OP posts:
geordieminx · 27/07/2010 21:26

I perhaps think at 2.8 he's old enough to ask for food if he is hungry - thats what happens at ds's nursery. They are all in the same room (2.5-4.5), they have 2x snack time and lunch, but if they are hungry at other times they can have a snack, they also have unlimited access to milk/water

Perhaps mention your concerns, but I'm sure it was just a one off/everything upside down due to building work.

BrightLightBrightLight · 27/07/2010 21:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Sidge · 27/07/2010 21:28

Well I can see you would be upset but really you can't deduce too much from one (IMO) minor incident.

I think few nearly-3 year olds need milk in the day so wouldn't be too surprised that they forgot to give it. If he refused lunch there's not a huge amount they can do apart from offer it - they can't make him eat it.

Was he just very tired and maybe unsettled by the change of room? I imagine he'll be better tomorrow after a good night's sleep.

(They should have told you about the room change over the summer period though, that's not really on).

mumbar · 27/07/2010 21:36

2 incidents in 2 years is hardly cause for concern especially as one is on a day when everyone has moved.

I don't mean that to be harsh but as parents we have all forgotten things rearding dc's and it is very hard in a nursery setting to have a child sleeping out of nap hours as its busy and if they do go somewhere else then they have 1 member of staff down in the main room iyswim. TBH this heat often makes children unsettled at night and during the day too.

my ds used to go to nusery 4 afternoons at this age and sometimes fell asleep in the pushchair on the way and sleep for 3/4 hours missing snack. He was offered it and would sometimes take it and sometimes prefer to play having missed out.

tryingtobemarypoppins2 · 27/07/2010 21:36

I guess I'm more upset as they are so fully aware of his nutrion issues and yet it was still forgotton and its the 2nd time a missed feed issue has come up. The crying is so odd too.

OP posts:
nzshar · 27/07/2010 21:38

Ok unless this happens a few days in a row then IMHO you are over-reacting. I do not think this will scar him for life. On the other hand if it is a regular occurance then speak to manager about it.

mumbar · 27/07/2010 21:40

at this age what they have over a week is more important than per day so could you ive him x amount extra over the next 5 days so he's had his full quota?

eg if he's missed 200ml then give him 40ml extra each day this week then hes had it.

edam · 27/07/2010 21:41

Why was he 'found' crying? Why was no-one watching him?

And given they know full well he has fortified milk and is being monitored by a dietitian, they ruddy well should be more clued up about making sure he has it.

Hopefully he was just unsettled by being tired and coping with a new room and will be back to normal tomorrow. And I also hope the manager does make it clear to her staff that they should be more careful.

SloanyPony · 27/07/2010 21:43

Agree they can't make him eat.

It was bad forgetting his milk as he is clearly supposed to have it. Yes, he can ask if he is hungry BUT this is a child by the sounds of it who needs a bit of encouragement as well.

However, new building etc I guarantee it was just a bad day, there was probably a bad vibe, staff were in a flap, I'm sure it will be fine tomorrow.

tryingtobemarypoppins2 · 27/07/2010 21:45

The room is VERY large, it normally has 70 children in it. But today just 20. I think that meant they had a great deal of space and were very spread out.

OP posts:
tryingtobemarypoppins2 · 27/07/2010 21:46

SloanyPony One staff member told me it was a real nightmare.

I am used so shocked he went from 8:30-4 without food

OP posts:
KatyS36 · 27/07/2010 21:54

I think you're perfectly reasonable to be upset over this, as finding your child crying is never nice.

However, unless it continued to happen I wouldn't be concerned over it IYSWIM

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