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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have deleted my facebook account

47 replies

superv1xen · 27/07/2010 16:46

.....my name is superv1xen and i am a facebook addict.

have had my account for a few years now and i think i have been spending FAR too much time on it, have even got it on my phone, i hate the way everyone can see what everyone else is doing to the point where when you meet up with your friends you pretty much have nothing to talk about! yet at the same time i was always logging on so i didnt feel "out of the loop" in any way!
and i am also fed up with the competitive stuff that goes on on there, ie people boasting about stuff, their cars, houses, holidays, how fecking AMAZING their kids are.....and then theres miserable, attention seeking updates, bitching, passive-aggressive statuses...(most of which i am afraid i too have been guilty of ) i was out on my best friends hen night at the weekend and when taking pics i was just thinking about putting them on facebook to show what a great night we had anyway....ffs!! i am a 30 year old mum of two and i think i REALLY need to get a real life. the people i am close to will hopefully keep in touch by phone etc anyway as well as meeting up like we do anyway, i just dont want to do it all via facebook anymore!

but i know its gonna be HARD!! its only been a few minutes since closing my account and already i am literally feeling weird about it ....so i am going cold turkey and am going to try my best not to go back on there. so please, fellow mumsnetters that have done this too, or hate facebook, i am begging you to keep me on the straight and narrow.

OP posts:
Effjay · 28/07/2010 21:50

I struggle with Facebook too, for all of the reasons above. However, I'm more addicted to MN - much better quality of online conversation

rewardgirl · 28/07/2010 22:01

Must admit I only really use it for keeping up with nieces and nephew (all live a long way away) and seeing pics from bros (Oz) and other family (US), otherwise it means them putting loads of huge photo/vid files on email.
Some of my nieces' constant swearing/updates drive me round the twist though....

EightiesChick · 28/07/2010 22:08

We use online photo album sites instead of Facebook for that rewardgirl. So you can get round FB...

Pancakeflipper · 28/07/2010 22:13

I haven't got one. I don't want one. I do email and text friends but I spend too much with technology at work and I see the upset these social networking sites ( and forums!) can cause.

I feel a forum is less harmful and easier to control.

fernie3 · 28/07/2010 22:24

I have a facebook account but all i ever do is play bejewelled so my little list is all 25k bewjewlled, 100k bejewelled etc etc,people add me as a friend but probably back away slowly when they see nothing apart from bejewelled scores - I did post a status once but i think its been the same for about a year (at least I have never changed it).I dont have anything against facebook but I can never think of anything to write because I am just that boring

pinksmarties · 28/07/2010 22:34

Good for you OP. I hate facebook. I think it breeds discontent at the very least. MN is a much better option

EveWasFramed72 · 28/07/2010 22:37

I have the iron clad privacy (no one can search for me), and I regularly cull my friend list; Most of my good friends and family are in America, so it's one good way to keep in touch for free, and it doesn't require 'time zone math' like a phone call does.
But, I hate it, and I am not patient...I will not 'friend' people just so it looks like I have millions...I want to actually interact to some degree with the people on my list. So, I guess that's how I keep it reasonable. I still spend a little too much time on it though...

ilovehens · 28/07/2010 22:58

I don't see what's wrong with email tbh if you want to stay in touch with friends. I can't stand Facebook. The site is messy and everyone seems to be obsessed by it. I deleted my account a few weeks ago after reading too much bad stuff about it, viruses etc.

bibbitybobbityhat · 28/07/2010 23:24

I have about 18 friends on Facebook! As far as I can see, only about 3 use it regularly. The rest of us don't post from one month to the next. I have yet to meet anyone of my generation (40s) who is remotely bothered by it, one way or the other.

OP it is perfectly possible to live a much better, happier, more fulfilled and worthwhile life without Facebook. Promise.

said · 28/07/2010 23:37

Eve - I'm pretty sure you can be searched for. I'm sure this was one of the privacy options FB changed. FB would implode if everyone set their options to = can't be searched for

Original poster
superv1xen · 29/07/2010 10:45

pinksmarties - thats very interesting that you said that it "breeds discontent" - how do you mean? i don't disagree by the way, just interested in what you mean by that?

OP posts:
Original poster
superv1xen · 29/07/2010 21:51

still haven't been back on! and it seems to be getting a bit easier today somehow....

and i was with some of my friends today (who are on facebook) and found myself extolling the virtues of NOT being on there

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EightiesChick · 30/07/2010 10:26

Good on you superv1xen! I guess it's like giving up smoking...

If you get tempted, I would try making a bargain with yourself that you will leave it another hour before you log in. Bet that by then you will have got over it and found something else to do.

I'm not pinksmarties but from what I've heard/read, I think FB breeds discontent in two main ways:

  • competitiveness between 'friends' all boasting about how great their lives are (or in reverse, how shit their lives are!)
  • 'grass is greener' type stuff where people wonder if their ex is on there, look them up, start flirting - or do all this with strangers, alternatively, thus making themselves more discontented with their own life/relationship.
Shellbell72 · 30/07/2010 17:40

Hello, first post

Have done it! After reading this thread, I have de activated my account and I won't log on again until the children have gone back to school. I was wasting far too much time on there.
Feeling good!

Original poster
superv1xen · 30/07/2010 18:13

eightieschick yes!! couldnt agree more, esp re the boasting, i have been guilty of that and it really embarasses me now

its actually very much like giving up smoking (i did that a year ago!) where the force of habit to do it (ie smoke, log in) is almost overwhelming, and as sad as this sounds, you just think, what am i gonna do during the times i would smoke/facebook?/

well its day 3 now (+ a few hours) and i still havent been back! but have had loads more texts from friends asking where i am and if i am ok

and good for you shellbell - well done!!! keep it up hehe

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pinksmarties · 30/07/2010 22:43

Hello Superv1xen. I'm a few years older than you you and have about 10/15 friends on FB tho I very rarely go on it as I really don't get it. My FB friends are all real life close friends and tho they are not boasting, show offs I don't don't want to see what they're saying to their friends. It's not my business and I'm not interested.

It's so inane. Someone makes a comment and then it says .....so and so "likes this". For fuck sake, it's pathetic.

My teen DC are on FB alot and it's just virtual curtain twitching and snooping and it's not healthy.......it's sad and I feel cross.

I have 2 or 3 good and lovely friends who for one reason or other are very lonely and they spend their days on FB living virtual lives. One of them has even set up a FB page for her dog.

woooohoooo · 30/07/2010 23:37

Excellent news!! Maybe some of your friends will get a rest from your incessant bragginng about your designer gear, your shopping trips when you live in a HA house, a break from your incessant talking about your sexy DP; who is in fact pug ugly just like you and your children!!

Original poster
superv1xen · 31/07/2010 12:13

pinksmarties oooh i definitely agree re the "virtual curtain twitching" ....and i know what you mean about the fact that everyone (if they want to) can see what all their friends are saying to their other friends....

woooohoooo sorry i have only just replied, i have been in town all morning shopping for more designer stuff and having my highlights done, i am back hom now though as i am waiting for my new flat screen telly to arrive. my ugly kids are at the grandparents for the weekend as my ugly dp is taking me away for the night tonight to a posh hotel.

hahahahahahaha you fucking freak in case you havent noticed i dont even have any pictures on my profile add thats the way i am gonna keep it because of STALKING WEIRDO'S like you!!

OP posts:
Original poster
superv1xen · 31/07/2010 19:07

oh look wooohooooooooooooo hasnt come back!!! spineless twat!!!!

OP posts:
EightiesChick · 31/07/2010 21:03

woooohoooo What a great advertisement you are for all the articulate discussion and comment that must be going on on Facebook. I really wish I was there

Stretch · 31/07/2010 23:09

at woohooo!

Sorry, didn't notice you had gone from fb! (i am not a stalker honest, you added me a few weeks ago!
)
Good for you!!

Original poster
superv1xen · 01/08/2010 16:46

haha eightieschick - quite.

stretch awww, i know your not a stalker lol but yeah i am no longer on there due to the reasons above! but you have my email address if you still wanted to meet up with the kids sometime?

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