to think I should call the police?

[emy72]

My parents are visiting from abroad for a couple of weeks. Yesterday they took the children (2, 3 and 5) to the park, which is just around the corner. On their way, they passed a house where there are a large number of dogs, typically perched against the windows barking and jumping every time soneone goes by.

The kids looked instinctively at the window as they were looking for the dogs. My daughter said the dogs were all asleep with their owner sat with them so they all quickly moved on.

They all headed to the park, my dad way ahead with the pushchair, and my mum lagging behind with the 3 and 5 year old.

Suddenly the woman from the house leapt out and followed my mum to the park. She yelled and yelled and was so close to her the kids believe she was pushing my mum (my mum says she wasn't), however my mum could barely understand what she was saying as she doesn't understand english very well at all.

My mum kept saying sorry instinctively and tried to get away but she would keep following her. My mum is small and frail (nearly 70) and the woman was in her 40s, very tall but still on her tiptoes and towering over my mum screaming so much abuse, the kids were all in floods of tears.

My dad then heard the screaming so came to see what was happening and told the woman to go away and leave them alone (politely). So she did.

They all came home shaking and crying.

My dd (5( said the woman was saying lots of naughty words and was angry because the children were looking in her window and were bloody rude. She apparently said "you are clearly not from this country why don't you p** off to where you've come from" and "people like you should live in a gutter" and other delightful words that my dd could not really bring herself to say (she kept saying "naughty words mummy").

As you can imagine my blood was boiling so much. I wanted my DH to go round there and have a polite word with this woman but he says he doesn't want to as she is clearly mad.

My only other option is to call the police. But would you do it? Is it over the top? I am so angry. I just feel she was so over the top and frightened my children and my parents so much they are now too scared to walk to the park.

What would you do?

Yes, call the police. She might do the same thing again and at least you would already have a complaint lodged, even if they can't do anything this time. If they could find the woman then I think they would take it quite seriously as it is racially motivated etc.

If you call the police they would record it as a racist incident potentially and there may be public order offences. The woman clearly felt aggrieved that someone was looking into her windows. I would put it down to experience and advise the DC not to look into people's windows.

The woman over reacted.

have it logged as a racist incident

Can you do the same journey but accompanying your parents and DC? Then be ready to firmly tell this woman off if anything similar happens? That way you could show them that this won't happen every time and try and rehabilitate the trip to the park. If your parents are going to be here for a few weeks, you naturally will want them to be able to take the kids out and not have their enjoyment spoiled. It all sounds very nasty.

I am honestly not sure what the police would do if you called them. Other posters who'd have similar experiences might know better. So to start with I would think of ways you could handle it yourself.

Actually, I was forgetting the racial aspect of it so yes, do try the police as it can be logged as a hate crime, I would guess.

i agree, the police need to have words, she sounds like a nasty piece of work.

tell your parents not everyone is like that, hope they are ok and the kids

Thanks everyone.

My parents are very calm and laid back and seem to be ok. The kids are still scared to go to the park, but like someone else suggested, next time I will go with them and make sure they are ok.

I know they were rude looking at someone's window and I've told them before not to do it - but I think in this instance it was instinctive as the path is very narrow and the dogs are always at the window barking, so they kind of instinctively looked for maybe 10 seconds or so to see where the dogs were.

Thanks for reassuring me, I will call the police and see what they suggest.

I would in an ideal world have dealt with it myself, but if the woman is so hateful it might just escalate and I don't really want that either. Hard isn't it!

Definitely call the police. Even if they can't "do" anything on a legal level, they will likely send someone around to talk to her and make it clear that assaulting (and yes assault can be purely verbal) an elderly lady with small children is not ok.

Do call the police, you'll find them more understanding that you expected and they do take incidents like this seriously.

I'm really sorry your DCs and your parents had such an awful experience, I think it will help everyone's confidence to experience also the other side of this country: a police force that will take this seriously.

Don't be so sure about help from the police even though I think you have every right to involve them. My dad (70's)was attacked from behind by a much younger man who threw him to the ground and brandished at him with a machete, hitting the ground on either side of my dad but luckily not actually striking him while screaming he was going to kill him. He then got calmly up and walked into his house a few yards away. The police did nothing but asked my dad to canvass the guys neighbours to see if they witnessed anything. You really start to lose faith in this country sometimes. Hope your DC and parents are ok.

Sounds very odd scanty....probably more to that....the Police don't ignore machete attacks.

But if they did, then there's no point saying they don't - although clearly they shouldn't.

Is the woman likely to recognise your children? Do you have to walk that way to the park?

If I thought the woman would recognise my children and therefore realise it was me who had called the police then I would not call the police. If it's just your parents she'll associate with it then I would be less concerned as they're going back home shortly.

Woman is clearly mad, I would probably not want to provoke her into further action and just make sure I avoided her house in future.

It does sound odd scurryfunge, almost unbelievable. This was in broad daylight (he was walking his dog) in his nice little estate where he lives. He was so shocked and humiliated (that he couldn't defend himself and was terrified for his life) that he didn't tell my sister till the next day who then insisted on going woth him to the police. This guy is known for weird behaviour. He has verbally abused women and children walking by his house and thrown a TV out his front window into his garden. I really fear for the mostly women, elderly folk and children who have to walk by his house. He sounds like a timebomb waiting to happen and his attack on my dad was obviously a serious escalation. The police said nothing could be done as it was his word against the guys. What boggles is that they actually told my dad to knock on the neighbours doors and ask if they had seen anything and then report it back to police. We are still fuming and my dad has never been the same since and has needed counselling. Sorry for ranting.

Your dad needs to make a formal complaint then that this frightening incident was not dealt with properly. Did your dad make a statement at the time?

YANBU. You need to call the police. If your dad had not come along it could have gotten worse.

This woman is a bully and rascist and at least if you have logged a complaint they will be aware of it in case she does it again. They can at least have a talk to her to warn her not to do it again and hopefully they can bring some sort of public order charge against her.

Walk a different way to the park and avoid her. What a nutjob!

Sorry to ask this, but as many people are suggesting this is racially motivated, is your mum actually of a non-caucasian race or is she not? Because obviously you can't call racism if she is a foreigner but also caucasian.

Why can't you call racism if she is a caucasian foreigner?

Lots of problems around here with people's hostility regarding Polish immigrants, for example.

Well I was born and bred in the UK,and am caucasian, and have encountered racism, so does it matter if she is caucasian or not?

I don't think it qualifies as racism, it's xenophobic but not racist. Poles are the same race as us. I am not arguing for the sake of it, I believe that is the way it is under the legislation about racism. However, I could be wrong.

Racism can be based on race, colour, nationality or ethnic origin.

Fuck - apologies for crassness re "Poles are the same race as us" - I meant Poles are also Caucasian, sorry