to be surprised by Mum and MIL's reactions

[RenfrewMum]

DD had her ears pierced for her 8th birthday and I've been surprised by the reaction from her grandmothers. What is it with that generation of women that ear piercing seems to be taboo until you're an adult?
I've never liked pierced ears in babies and toddlers, so I decided to wait until DD asked to have her ears pierced, and balance that with whether she was sensible enough to look after earrings.
Her school asks that ears are only pierced at the beginning of summer hols, otherwise the child would have to miss 6 weeks of PE, so it seemed mean to make her wait til she was 9.
But the reaction from the grannies has been like I've had her pimped out tattooed ....

I'm a very sensible older mother, but my MIL has never had her ears pierced and my Mum didn't have hers done til she was in her 30s or 40s: am I missing something about pierced ears and loose morals???!!!

My MIL went mad when her DIL pierced her 9 you DD's ears and stopped talking to her! But MIL herself wasn't allowed to have her ears done until she was 16. My mum on the other hand had her ears pierced as a baby, and mine were too - I don't have DD's so haven't had a chance to see how my mum would react! How old are your MIL and Mum, becuase I think age and background are the main factors - my MIL is only 5 years older than my mum, but is much more old fashioned.

I don't think you've done anything wrong, I think it's just that some people don't like to see pierced ears on children. Like you, I dislike seeing it on babies/toddlers and hope my dd will be a teen before having it done. I was about 5 when mine were done and although it's done me no harm, I suppose it is more likely that they can get pulled and cause problems when you are a small child.

I don't see the problem. I had mine done younger than that I think. I don't have a DD but would allow it when she wanted as long as I felt she was old enough to understand the pain etc.

I suppose it is a bit of a generation thing, my Mum wouldn't let me have mine done until I was 16, by which point I wasn't ar$ed and so never bothered.

Having said that, I probably wouldn't be surprised as I can also see how the reasons people often don't like pierced ears on babies and toddlers, can also kind of be applied to 'innocent young children'. I don't mean that in a horrid way and am not judging you at all, but I can imagine the same feelings being evoked in someone about a child as about a baby. If you see it as harming or 'damaging' a young child's body in some way, then whether the child is 2 or 8 might be irrelevant.

I don't mean that I think that way, I can just see that for those that do, 8 might be just as bad as 2.

Hope I haven't offended.

D

There was a thread on here a while ago about this and opinions were very polarised. I posted that my DD would not be having hers done until she was 16 and I was pilloried. Personal choice really. I agree, age and background have a big influence.

Don't know really, I was around 15 which was considered normal (14 yrs ago, blimey I feel old) and would expect our (soon to arrive) daughter to be about the same age. But again, it is a very personal thing.

my aunt and uncle got mine done as a birthday present for me when I turned 10 or 11 - I was definitely still at primary school. I think once they're old enough to look after them it's fine

Thanks for views - and no offence caused by anyone! It just amazes me in these days when everyone seems to have tattoos (not me - I hate them, but that's another topic!), that anyone would be shocked by pierced ears. The grannies are both in their late 60s, MIL is much more old-fashioned but both have that generational thing I think.
It was one of those issues that you have to think through as a mum, and try not to be influenced by your own mother's prejudices! My Mum wanted me to wait til I was 16, but she gave in when I was 12, but not until my most sensible friend at school had HER ears done!

My internal rule is the summer they turn 13. Won't ever arise though as I have two boys!

DD1 was born in Saudi and when people looked in the pram they all assumed she was a boy because her ears weren't pierced!

Like you, I don't like it in tiny babies and toddlers but each to their own.

DD1 was 13 and DD2 is 11 but hasn't asked yet.

your mum and mil are over reacting so much, 8 or 9 is hardly a baby! i didn't know that generation had anything wrong with it, i had mine done at 5 or 6 because my granny suggested to my mum why not do it, and i dont consider that particularly young at all. don't most children have them done by 8? most i know do, im sure at school too most girls had it

My Irish grandmother used to say only gypsy children had their ears pierced (nice bit of prejudice coming out there!). She was horrified when my mum let me have mine done (I was 10 yrs old, and had been begging her for years). Maybe it is a generational thing.It is also a snobbery thing, though.

I had mine done at 8 years old. I asked for it, constantly.

Along the lines of.

Mam - "What would you like for breakfast?"
Me -"my ears pierced"
Mam - "what you you like for dinner?"
Me - "Ears Pierced"
Mam - "what would you to do today"
Me - "EARS PIERCED!"

and on apparently..for about 2 weeks, suprised my mom did not snap and pull me ears off tbh!

For me, as a grandmother of one beautiful little girl (and four wonderful boys), I just think she has got lovely wee ears as it is, and doesn't need anything to adorn them. Her Mum was allowed to get hers done at 14, and I have a feeling she now understands why I made her wait so long.

Again, no offence is intended - each to their own, this is just my opinion.

I didn't have mine done till i was 11, and i'd been asking for years! My Dh has the same view, that our dds (6 & almost 5) won't get them done till they're at least 8, and have been asking for ages.

We get asked occasionally but it's along the lines of:
'can i have holes in my ears like you mum?'
'Not till you're older'.
'Like 18?'

Figure by the time it becommes an issue they'll be closer to 10!
Older generation seems to have much more of an issue with it, not sure why as my Nan often tells me she did it herself with a needle when she was 7!