So, I'm getting married at the end of August. We're trying to keep it low key for several reasons, not least being that we are skint, but various family members have persuaded us to get more and more elaborate (eg my mum went out for a coffee with me and, when both my children were asleep, took me to Debenhams to buy a big white dress- that I had sworn I wouldn't wear- but she persuaded me to try one on, then bought it for me, so I can hardly complain...).
Anyway, tomorrow I am going back to the town where I grew up for my hen night and to see everyone. My sister is visiting from London, it is rare to get all my sisters together so I have been really looking forward to it, especially as I have few close friends near where I now live and anyway have the children so haven't been for an aimless wander round shops/a coffee in a real grown up cafe/a drink in a pub at night time/etc for months and months. I was hoping for some lovely girly bonding with my old friends, sisters, mum, nana, aunties, etc.
Since my sister got there a couple of days ago, I have had phonecalls, messages and facebook messages telling me they have been shopping for wedding things and bought several things, how much fun they are having all together talking about the wedding, how they are not bothering with my idea of making our own flowers for our hair (I love craft and have been amusing myself daydreaming how to make the things, saving up the matierials etc) and instead have bought some headpieces, they have altered the bridesmaid dresses (which I have only seen in a picture). They are talking about buying my shoes as I "can't" go through with my plan of wearing my docs (I have spd, I will be in agony if I don't wear supportive shoes, and anyway said dress is floor length), they are all telling me I "can't" breastfeed at the wedding.
Now, I am possibly BU here, because when they have asked me what i am doing with things like jewellery and so on, I have said that we will sort it out when I visit, if we get round to it, basically because I would find it really hard to go shopping with both kids in tow by myself, and anyway, I am skint. I have been looking online though, and in charity shops and craft fairs. They seem to have taken this to mean I don't care, and so they should make all the decisions for me as they don't want to look "a state". They are also all getting new makeup, hairdos, etc, which again I can't afford, and telling me how much fun they are having.
Apparently we can't go shopping when I am there, because we will have the kids. So between me, three adult bridesmaids (two of which are primary school teachers), my mum and my nana (who is old, but used to be a nursery nurse and loves the children to bits) we apparently won't be able to manage two children, but I ABU for not going shopping by myself, miles away from eveyone, with two kids in tow.
So, am I being bridezilla here, or is it reasonable to want at least one girly shopping trip out for your own wedding? I'm not usually one for girliness, but, good God, how much would I give for one afternoon of not being the sole adult in charge and getting to try on amusing hats and gossip.
Last night, me and DP chose our wedding rings, the cheapest we could find, but they will be lovely because they are our rings, and it isn't "us" to spend loads on things like that. However, one bridesmaid has spent more on a headpiece that I haven't even seen than we have spent on both rings.
I'm going to elope at this rate. I just want to be DP's wife. Big dresses and so on are fun, but if I am doing this, I want at least some say. It is OUR wedding, not the bloody bridesmaids.
(All the bridesmaids are single and childless as well- I get the idea they have all planned their weddings down to the tablecloths, but have no men to do it with)