to think that a newborn baby will not understand that you want it to sleep at night?

[booyhoo]

a family member has a 5 day old baby and is complaining that it wakes during the night and is talking of 'filling it up lots' this evening so it will sleep.

i despair sometimes.

I think you should point out that a lot of babies don't sleep through until they're 2 or 3. That ought to ram the point home.

OMG what do people expect? a friend at work was telling me about one of her friend's who's job it is to support new mums. I was amazed at the attitudes some of them displayed about being woken in the night for feeds....

i am staying out of it tbh. i get called petty names when i offer support (know-it-all, earth mother ) they wouldn't consider it helpful or advice, they would think it was just me telling them they are shit parents. i have never implied anything like that but ever since i started BFing ds2 i have been viewed like this. "we can't all be perfect" is one i often get.

babies are random. end of.

all I can say is thank goodness I got on well with BF'ing! No getting 'up' in the night

that's it finding. when i had my two i had no expectations. i prepared myself for worst case scenario about pretty much every element of pregnancy, labour and the new baby stage. hell, i still have no expectations and they are 5 and 14 months now. i see being up in the night as part and parcel of parenthood.

But its common sense to try and get them to have as much of their milk requirement during the daytime isn't it.I mean it would be stupid not to try to give him/hetr t a good fillup before you go to bed.Can't see why you are despairing at that?

no, i am despairing at the complaints of the baby waking during the night. this is normal for babies.

re the filling them up before bed, it is likely to involve baby rice in the bottle. it really astounds me the amount of parents that do this without a thought.

katiestar, it might be commonsense, but it's not how the body works.

(talking about breastfeeding here because a baby's body doesn't know where it's food is coming from)

Prolactin levels are higher at night, so milk is more abundant and better at night, so baby wakes up regularly protecting them from sleeping too deeply.

Don't babies often cluster feed in the evening? So they're self-filling for the night?

Is it really so unreasonable to have a little moan if you are woken up several times a night? Hell, I did. Its not because I thought they wouldn't. I would have been worried if they hadn't! But I dont have to smile and say thank you, do I? Yes, its part and parcel, but its not the most enjoyable part of parenthood, correct me if I am wrong.

As for filling it up, well, its tummy is the size of a marble, so by all means fill it. Hopefully she can find someone else to just offer her sympathy and say "its tough, isn't it" as you are too busy being all outraged and despairing!

YABU

Of course its not unreasonable to have a moan. But it is unreasonable to expect 'topping the baby up' to work and then have a moan.

Threadjack! Booyhoo, report to NI thread please!!!!

Well, she hasn't "topped the baby up" yet as she's thinking of doing it tonight, so not sure how that logic works. Sounds like she was just having a moan and throwing ideas around.

on my way tee

sloany of course it isn't unreasonable to have a moan. we all moan. but if you had heard this particular moaning it is as if she thinks the baby should be sleeping through the night. the moans are along the lines of "ds1 slept through at this age" (not sure if that is true or she is looking back with rose tinted specs)or "why doesn't he just bloody sleep when he's supposed to" that sort of thing. i am in no way outraged by her attitude, i expected it from her tbh but i can still despair at it. i just don't think she's doing herself any favours by expecting a 'perfect' (whatever that may be) baby. especially such a young one.